Hi everyone - my kiddo is headed to grad school and will be searching for and furnishing his first apartment. I feel pretty clueless about the whole process - from finding an apartment, knowing the best places to get furniture, ideal timelines, and so on. This community has been so helpful to me in navigating the college admissions process, so I was wondering if you all had any tips for this next stage. Any advice?
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Join your local social media Buy Nothing or Take it Or Leave it page. You could possibly furnish an apartment for free, depending on where you live. Also, local college and university students give away masses of stuff. Look behind college housing.
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I have found IKEA to be great for apartment furnishing. Also ordering online from Amazon and Wayfair. I am leery of hand me downs from college kids, worry about bedbugs, etc.
You should also shop your own cabinets for getting a kitchen up and running - I bet you have extra flatware, pots, cups, plates, etc. that your kid can use. I actually still do this. If I see I have an extra can opener, I offer to my kid first before getting rid of it some other way.
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So this is very timely, as my son graduates on Friday and I’ve been trying to help him find an apartment. For the “finding” he and I have an agreement similar to what we did when he was looking for colleges, looking for internships, and looking for post grad jobs. He tells me what matters to him, what are his must-haves, and I put together a google sheet that has links to potential apartments and any notes I might have for him. He clicks the links, tells me what appeals and what doesn’t, and I refine the list more. This works for us because I really enjoy researching and have the time. He doesn’t have the time and is happy to work from a list of things that I share with him. I don’t get my feelings hurt if he doesn’t like things on the list and he is willing to give up this autonomy for the lifting of the search burden from his shoulders.
The town his post grad job will be in is three hours from me, but 11+ hours from where he will be in school. So since we’re empty nesters now, my husband and I took a day trip to the town to scout out the downtown, neighborhoods, where his office is etc. Then I could use that info combined with his wants to build the list. He’s also, frankly, not that picky and will be happy with just about anything for a year.
We narrowed it down to two really good places a few weeks ago and husband I made appointments to tour them while we were on our way south to pick up our younger child from the end of his freshman year. One apartment was a better fit for S22 than the other, so I texted him and told him to fill out the lease agreement. The one quirk was that the building is for sale (it’s a converted mansion with four apartments). The rental agent assured us that the sale wouldn’t make a difference, that they were still accepting renters with 12 month leases and all the conditions of the lease (they pay all utilities) would carry through were the house to sell. So S22 filled out the paperwork, they ran the credit and background checks, they approved it, and they asked him to sign the lease and pay the money - which he did on Friday.
On Saturday the property management people called him and left a message to say that the building owner doesn’t want a one year lease, they want month to month. S22 is not interested in that at all, and is going to call them today to say give me my money back, that’s not what you advertised and agreed to.
So in the 2.5 weeks that this has taken, a few of the potential apartments have come off the market. So over the weekend I refreshed the google sheet that I had for my son - gave him the other house that we toured (which is still a good fit, although it has some less attractive quirks), links to two loft apartments which have some positives but may not be right either, and a link to a traditional garden apartment that is close to his office - which we hadn’t suggested before because that’s more suburb and he really seemed to want downtown and easy walk to things. We’ll see what he does.
In terms of how to help him find things, I’ve been searching on hotpads.com and apartments.com. I put in the zipcode of the town, tell it to display the map, then zoom the map to focus on the areas that meet his needs best (downtown, safe, easy access to restaurants and gym and bike trails). When I open each individual posting I look closely to see if there are any property management companies listed, or if I can find the specific building name. In either case, I add the webpages for the property management companies and interesting buildings to my spreadsheet of things to search.
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In terms of furnishing, we’ve got a couple friends who are redoing parts of their houses - so I think he’ll get a nice couch and some chairs free as they are clearing space for new things. We’ll buy him a bed - probably from IKEA. In terms of a dresser, he’s been using some repurposed furniture from our playroom - it’s not nice, it’s some shelves with bins that you store toys in, but for his college off campus apartments it worked to hold non-hanging clothes. I’m going to suggest he stick with those until he can get to the town and see what he can find from their buy nothing groups or college campuses. If nothing comes up and he wants something new, we’ll probably look to IKEA.
For kitchen wares, he’s getting a lot of the odds and ends that my mother has extras of and things I have extras of. So it will be an odd eclectic assortment, but that’s ok, it will be enough things to get him started.
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Buy Nothing, Facebook Marketplace (lots listed is free or very low cost), Goodwill/other thrift shops, stuff in our attic. Fill in housewares from Marshall’s/Home Goods/Amazon. If you’re in a major city especially look for curb finds. I still use the dining room chairs we found on the curb 40 years ago fresh out of college!
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Some schools may have grad school info website, grad association, department info or informal grad school social media that could help with suggestions about best areas to look for apartments. My sons found the best info starting out was from their fellow grad students who’d been there a year or two. Furnished primarily through Target, Amazon (mattress in a box) Facebook Marketplace and thrift stores. One early decision is to live alone or not. One of mine lived alone first year and was quite lonely until he found a friend group and then second year moved into a shared house. The other found another new student in his grad program to share an apartment, didn’t get along so great and then moved into a studio apartment by himself the second year.
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Sometimes after college you can take a step up from only curbside treasures. 
(absolutely nothing wrong with that at anytime, I have plenty treasures in my home now that are beautiful pieces of furniture from the curb)
I’ll throw out the option of checking out ReStore stores in your area. Great prices and often you can go in and find more than one of your basics - like you could walk out in one trip with a couch, a side chair, a dining table/chairs and a dresser - or more! They also have smaller things like lamps and rugs. Habitat for Humanity ReStores
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We did a combination of Home Goods, Amazon, Wayfair, and stuff from friends. We tried to be cost effective as we knew it was all short term. Her roommate got a lot from IKEA.
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And another branch on the decision tree if a kid ends up with a roommate or two or three- are we people with a business arrangement (courteous strangers sharing expenses) or are we potential/future friends ?
My kids successfully navigated both types- even in one apartment with 6 guys (living room partitioned off into two bedrooms) where they were all “ships in the night” with rules around overnight guests, loud noise, etc.
Finances may dictate shared quarters but that doesn’t mean everyone has to be friends- just be courteous and obey the “house rules”!
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My D moved into a house in Chicago with four roommates. They were already there & they had furniture in all of the common rooms, so all she needed to contribute was her bedroom furnishings. She was in a new city and didn’t know anyone, so she was thankful to have roommates who included her in their social lives (even though they had no connection other than being roommates). She didn’t really make “friends” with them, but she met her now-H when she went to a birthday party with her roommates … and the ex-boyfriend of one of the roommates is still SIL & D’s friend years later.
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I highly recommend the military for solving this problem. After our son commissioned from the academy, he came home for 60 days. During that time, the Army lined him up with a realtor local to his first post with whom he worked online/remotely to secure that first apartment (which the Army paid for). Then, the Army came to our house, packed up every stick of furniture in our casita (bed, dresser, nightstands, rugs, lamps, sofa, table, kitchenware,* desk/chair, TV, electronics, clothes, etc.) and drove it from AZ to GA, delivering it all into the new apartment before DS arrived. They also shipped his car. We just stood in the doorway and waved goodbye.
I know, not helpful to the OP, but when I read about all the grief the military has saved us, my dim view of the Army lessens a bit.
*We gifted him an entire kitchen’s worth of small appliances, flatware, knives, dishes, pots/pans, etc. the Christmas prior to graduation, keeping all the gifts at the house until the Army came to move everything out. Some of the stuff, like the Instant Pot, Cuisinart, and KitchenAid, was scooped directly off our kitchen countertop. Once they disappeared with DS, I was able to replace them all with upgrades. Merry Christmas to me and, again, thank you Uncle Sam!
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Thank you so much for sharing your experience with your son! It’s really helpful to hear how you’ve approached it. Your son sounds like mine - mine also doesn’t care that much! I’m sorry for the hassle you’ve experienced so far in finding a place for him.
Oooh, thank you for this suggestion! I did not know about ReStore stores - they seem like a great option!
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My daughter bought furniture from the previous tenant and then we shopped our basement. I also recommend FB and Nextdoor to find free or nearly free stuff.
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My neighborhood also has a “Young Woman’s WhatsApp” group which is about 50% “how do you find a dentist for a five year old who seems phobic about the dentist” and 50% “anyone want my grandma’s kitchen table? We paid to ship it from my parents house but it’s too big for my kitchen”.
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Happy to try to help! One other thing I did to help me get started - I used ChatGPT to identify some neighborhoods for me. Before I drove down and was able to walk around myself I just tried really hard to make a good prompt and let Chat and Claude give me suggestions. I told it the town name, living in an area walkable to restaurants / gym / bike trails, popular with young professionals, average to below average crime statistics for the city. Then the AI tool recommended some neighborhoods and buildings. I used that as a starting point since we were all totally unfamiliar with the town.
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So…we did this twice for our kids when they were starting graduate or professional school. We did crunch the numbers on what was smart to take with us, and what was smarter to purchase at the apartment location.
For one kid, I actually went and chose his apartment. For the second kid, two good friends went to four different apartment complexes and then did face time with me about them. Thank goodness for good friends.
Here is what we did:
- In both cases, we purchased mattress and frame from a mattress chain where the kids were living. We found a place with same day delivery. We also got all the bed linens in the town where the apartment was.
- We got both small counter top microwaves at Walmart.
- We had a van and a car for the moves. For kid one, we just used my van. For kid two, we rented a larger van.
- We packed and took with us all the kitchen “stuff” including dishes, and small appliances.
- We took all bathroom towels and rugs with us. And in both cases, we had area rugs the kids wanted to take.
- We knew the window measurements, and got the curtains and rods here on sale.
- For kid one, we did purchase a desk and bookshelves at Target. Husband assembled.
- For kid two, we had a small desk and chair that we moved from here.
- Neither kid had or wanted a lot of decorative “stuff” but that mostly came with us. We did buy wall clocks for both of them where they were living.
- After move in, both kids went to the local IKEA and found some other things they wanted. One kid got a chair and footstool. The other got a storage box, and a small table.
- Lamps…we got them at Target. We really didn’t have any spare ones.
In both cases, DH and I drove for the move in weekend. DH is very handy and was able to really get things done. Plus, he was a lot stronger, and could move things. Both kids lived on the second floor, walk up…and there is no way one person could have done the move. We did take our hand truck with us…and that was essential!!
One of our house warming gifts to both kids…a small tools set so they could fix things. And a decent set of flashlights if the power was out.
We also took them grocery shopping and got staples, and their first shopping list of items.
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we found walmart.com has the lowest prices for bed in a box along with frames
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For apartments your son might check out any Facebook pages for students at the grad school he’ll be attending. For furniture etc (if not buying new) I highly recommend facebook marketplace. Often the prices and selection are much better than thrift stores. IKEA is always good for basics as is Amazon. Good luck to him on this new adventure
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