I was completely clueless. I thought my baby would sleep most of the time and I really didn’t know how often I had to change her diaper. I quickly did become an expert and didn’t allow many people to take care of D1. I boiled D1’s bottles and nipples everyday (for D2 I just rinsed under tap water). I remember being a walking zombie the first month. Lucky for me, I trained D1 to sleep through the night within 6 weeks. It took D2 a bit longer (8 weeks) because she had a cold. I remember I used to put my finger to my kids’ nose to make sure they were breathing. Our biggest challenge was to get D1 to sleep by herself. I got a book on how to do it, pretty much let her cry it out for a week. We didn’t make the same mistake with D2, we put her in her crib from day one instead of sleeping with us. Both of kids were easy babies. They slept and ate well.
Thanks, lje62. It was 30 years ago but it feels like yesterday.
When my first child was being born there appeared to be a sudden drop in oxygen levels. It was a false alarm, but the midwife turned to me and said, “Think this is stressful? Wait until adolescence.”
How true.
Just found out that my niece has the same due date with her first that I had with my first (7/11)! Almost 27 years, but seems like yesterday. Yes, I remember that bad episiotomy done by the resident who attended S#1’s birth. Couldn’t sit for weeks. . .The labor was long and horrible (natural childbirth). I hyperventilated. I screamed. The nurse offered a mirror for me to watch the delivery–I pushed it away. I wouldn’t open my eyes. She kept saying, “close your mouth and open your eyes.” I kept howling. I didn’t want to look at that baby at first. (In the movie Georgy Girl–after giving birth, the mom --played by Charlotte Rampling–says, “Take it away!” It was sort of like that.) H cried. I remember the resident holding up the very long cord–there was a true knot in S’s cord–she hadn’t seen that before. Baby was a little blue, but fine. Afterwards, oh, what a hormonal high. I was exhausted, but so pleased. It was like I was the first mother in the world. I remember every detail–who visited, specific gifts, etc. H and I couldn’t figure out the car seat when we were leaving the hospital. The aide who wheeled me out couldn’t figure it out, either. She looked around and asked H, “How far away do you live?” It was only about 3 miles. “Well, just be careful. . .” she said. I was holding the baby in the back seat. I didn’t know much about newborns. H had a sister 13 years his junior, so he was a little more familiar. Gosh, people would come up to me in the grocery store and tell me I was holding him wrong! Breastfeeding was difficult for about 3 months but I was so determined (couldn’t afford formula). S was colicky, cried a lot every evening, but I didn’t know any better–I thought all babies just cried. The only thing that would calm him down was running water–I would take him in the shower with me, or stand in front of the kitchen faucet.
We had a fire in our apartment building ( I ran out of a burning building with S and my purse. . .) when S was 2 months old–we had to move in with my parents for a month. The good old days! Life is so short. (I have 7 more birth stories. . .strongest memories ever. Must be hormones–everything seems 4 dimensional during the process. I don’t think I slept through the night for 20 years. . .but it didn’t bother me much.) Ladies–if your kids are old enough–do you remember the, uh, bulky feminine hygiene products/belt used after birth? That technology certainly improved over the years! (18 years between my first and last deliveries.) Sitz baths, anyone? No episiotomies after 2nd kid, either.
Sleep deprivation has a great deal to do with what I do and don’t remember about their childhoods. Our kids are 8 years apart, just as I was starting to try and establish myself outside the loop of errands, house and school that had become all mine because of Hs work hours ( yet not enough $ to hire any help), I was pregnant again, which was wonderful as we had all but given up hopes for another, but was scary as our house wasn’t big enough for another child, and H still worked swing shift and two or three weekends out of every month so virtually everything outside of earning the " paycheck" was my responsibility. ( plus try & do that when you are supposed to be on bed rest)
There were years when I did not get more than a few hours of sleep at a time. It was so hard when my baby could not tolerate being held so I could nurse, and she needed to be jiggled to sleep, and back to sleep. I checked myself into the psychiactric ward TWICE, mainly so I could get some rest. Unfortunately they only kept me for a couple days each time.
http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/12/how-sleep-deprivation-decays-the-mind-and-body/282395/
Sorry if TMI, but I am only now realizing how much those years without sleep affected me, now that I generally get five or six hours, instead of three.
I am a completely different person.
Not to scare any new parents. ( although if you are on CC with a new baby, go for a walk or take a nap & don’t come back for at least a decade)
@oldfort , you hit the nail on the head…I think we all had expectations and fantasies about what our lives with newborns would be. I think mine was of one who slept on a schedule, ate and pooped in the same fashion and once I was done giving the nice bath, we would go for a walk without any disagreements and baby would be just perfect.
I also thought that every one of my friends and relatives had it easier and less stress than I did…especially when it came to sleeping
I have fond memories of that time. I smile just thinking about it.
One child. No comparison to be made.
I had five miscarriages, including an ectopic pregnancy, before my son was born. My GYN saw me biweekly, then weekly. I so felt his support. I went into labor on a Wednesday, and called him. His secretary told me his best friend had died, and he wouldn’t be back in town until late friday. I had 44 hour labor. I think I waited for him to return. Everything went wrong, last minute epistemology, cord around neck, recall being rushed from birthing room to OR room, and a swarm of doctors being there. Son went from a 3 to higher so quickly. Thank goodness for Deaconess Beth Israel hospital in Boston, absolutely great care. I worried about oxygen deprivation, but my son seems to be ok.
Sons father called my folks, and my mom flew in. We left hospital, and couldn’t get the car seat buckle to work. My mom wanted to hire a nurse, but I wanted every experience. I remember learning how to bathe the little one, diaper him, etc.
I was so thrilled to finally have a child, that I didn’t care he didn’t sleep thru the night for three years.
When you have already had cancer, brought on by estrogen, I consider this child a miracle.
I had C-sections with complications so I was in the hospital for 6 days with each. We couldn’t wait to go home!
I am the oldest daughter of 7 kids, so I started changing diapers (the cloth kind with big PINS) at age 5, so once I was a teen, the neighbors regularly called me to babysit their babies when “mom and dad” wanted a free night…so going home and taking care of a newborn didn’t scare me a bit. ( I still LOVE baby-care.)
Because of my experiences, I made sure that both of my boys had a good bit of “baby experiences” with new nieces and nephews. S2 did surprise me once by not letting me know that he was changing my niece’s dirty diaper when he was 4 years old…he used an entire box of wipes. He got the diaper on, but it was backwards…no biggie. 
He was quite proud of himself!
But who are these peaceful young babies that I see out and about with their yoga clothed moms who are carrying a coffee in one hand and calmly pushing the super functional stroller in the other??? Can I say hear that I really hated those lightweight umbrella strollers and those super heavy “collapsable” ones. Getting one of those out of the car and the baby into it was very stressful.
I was SO lucky! I knew nothing, either - I never even babysat as a teenager. But my mom was a foster mother during the '80s - she took care of a total of 86 (not a typo) newborns! She would have them for just a few days up to several months. She LOVES babies! So she flew up from Texas and stayed for six weeks and taught me everything I needed to know. She would even take care of my son in the middle of the night, after I fed him.
I had twins first. When people found out they had two reactions - (childless) “oh you’re so lucky, that’s so special, I hope I have twins one day”, (had kids at some point, sometimes decades earlier) “oh God, you’re going to need help”.
I was clueless. Why would I need help? I just didn’t understand that babies can take full on attention that involves your whole body - rocking them, walking around with them, burping them, and it can still not be enough. It was exhausting and we kept running into people who had relatively easy babies who slept relatively more. And when ours would nap, I would often find myself just staring at them, at the wonder of them. I sometimes still do.
I was clueless as well, despite being in my 30’s. I had her on my own and was fortunate to have my childless, yet sensible sister come out to help me for a week. I was going for our first outing to the store, didn’t even occur to me that I needed a diaper bag. Where was the manual for these things? Obviously I learned quickly, as we all did. The one odd thing I did, I would brush my hair and put on lipstick before I would go to her crib. I know, very weird, but I didn’t want to scare her with my grumpy and disheveled self. We still laugh about it, what was I thinking?
My daughter now almost 19 was born one week before my birthday. Those days the doctors only kept you in the hospital for 24 hours. I remember us driving home so slowly with her in the car seat. She used to take 20 minute naps in my lap so I used to be awake most of the night. The pediatrician used to say let her cry at night don’t pick her up but I couldn’t do that. I would pick her up. The first few weeks were the worst because we had no sleep or any schedule. We couldn’t wait till she slept through the night.
Now that she is grown up I am awake at night worrying about college age issues. When I see my sisters going through the challenges of raising kids I am glad I’ve have been there and done that. As they grow up you still worry about them but it’s different. When I see new parents now I think raising kids now is harder and that when I had my child things were simpler. I tell new parents to open a savings account (college account) because they grow up fast. I only had one but I enjoyed all that I got to experience with her.
My boss is 52 and his wife is 48. They had their first baby this summer. They seem far more relaxed about it than my friends & I were … guess age brings wisdom. 
maybe they drink a lot of green tea.
I can’t imagine being 53 with a kindergartner. What if you have to sit in those tiny chairs!
Although several of my friends were second wives, and a couple of their spouses had grown children, so at least they had experience!
@keslmom I had my daughter in my 20’s and don’t think I have the stamina to raise a newborn now. I treasure my sleep at night. Its amazing what a difference a good night of sleep makes. Its one thing I can’t live without now.
I adopted my daughter from China when she was 23 months old. She was walking, talking (baby Mandarin), and NOT HAPPY that this strange person was taking her away from everything she ever knew.
I was completely terrified before I left for China. I was convinced that by not having the courage to call the whole thing off, I was going to ruin the life of this small child. I was terrified that she was so “old”–I was an amateur mother and I wanted an amateur child!
Up until the moment I opened the door at the hotel room in Hangzhou to meet my screaming, terrified daughter, I was completely convinced that it was absolutely the worst thing I could possibly do.
And then the door opened and there she was and I knew I could do it. And I did! And by the time we left Hangzhou 5 days later, she had decided to keep me (well, mostly). Now she’s almost 19 and I can hardly believe it.
@MaineLonghorn ooh…I would love to do what your mom did!
I remember being utterly exhausted two days after bringing my daughter home from the hospital and looking down at my dear sweet baby and thinking, “Oh my God, I’ve given birth to an alien!”