My kids are adopted so I went to the hospital, signed some forms with the social worker and went home with a baby! No parenting classes, no nurse giving us advice, no one checking the car seat or offering us samples of formula. Just us and a newborn. It felt crazy to me that anyone would trust us with a newborn without checking whether we had the slightest idea of how to care for one. We did just fine, although the first night home we had a crazy marathon search for the formula the hospital had put the baby on.
@conmama , thankfully, by the time I had my second child, there had been much outrage about it, and it was changed! 24 hrs, was not long enough to see if the baby had complications.
Ah…when was that, I’m curious. I had my last in November 1996. I had him at 3:00 p.m Friday afternoon, and went home Sunday. I think by then there was some sort of cut off…like you could stay the 2nd night if your baby was born at a certain time.
After my mom passed away, my dad told me that my mom would just left my oldest brother crying in his crib for hours. My dad’s aunt & uncle lived on the first floor of a house they shared, and his aunt would come pick my brother up if she heard him cry for awhile. I am so glad that PPD is widely understood in America today … I wish my mom had been able to get help. I remember having a very slight case of the “blues” right before I was sent home with my first baby … my doctor addressed it right away when he saw tears in my eyes. Fortunately, it wasn’t a problem for me, but I would have been prepared, if it was.
My first was in 1992, my second was in 1995. Im not sure when the change occurred, but thank goodness it did. Although, my second was in ICU so she wouldnt have come home anyway. The hospital was so accomodating, they let me stay in my room for free until my daughter was released. She was in the hospital for about a week after I had her. Their policy was, as long as there was a free bed, I could have it. Of course I was on my own for meals, but I was allowed to help myself to the snacks in the kitchenette area they had on the maternity floor. They probably dont do that anymore.
I don’t know how things are now but in April 1996 for a normal delivery with no complications the hospital stay was for only 24 hours. I came home feeling overwhelmed and tired. I just wanted to sleep for a week to recover but that didn’t happen. I hadn’t really read any books or magazines beforehand. All I had was a tour of the hospital for parents to be. Somehow intuition took over. In the beginning babies are so small I was afraid of handling her. I remember giving her first bath by myself. She got used to being held all the time because of colic. A nurse came a week later to check on me and the baby. I wish I had a nurse to help me at night with the baby.
Oldests first bath was in the hospital. We had to take off all her sensors, which made me really nervous.
As she had been born by emergency section, ( she had tied her cord into THREE true knots) they were going to keep me for at least three days, but when she took an extreme turn for the worse, and since we didn’t live close by, they moved me into a private room and put a cot in there for H, so I could stay a couple more days.
We had great insurance then, thank goodness.
I didn’t get to have the birth I wanted, but one thing I was determined to do was nurse. So I kept my milk going for the 8 weeks she was in the hospital, and the two months after she came home, when she was still too small to suckle.
She was finally strong enough to nurse when she was 4 months old.
Seemingly minutes after DD was born, a nurse thrust her into my arms and said, “Here, Dad, give her a bath.” I thought, WOMAN ARE YOU INSANE? Somehow it took. I became bath guy and did the honors till she was old enough to bathe herself. Bonding like that was one of the best things I ever did.
I am sure the nurse gave daughter a bath in the hospital and in the beginning at home I did a towel bath till the chord came off. The first time I gave her a full bath in the baby tub was fun. I was afraid of her slipping out of my hands when I had to take her out. They look so small and fragile at first I used to be afraid of handling her so that she didn’t get hurt. Anyway those days are long gone and I am enjoying having a college student now. For each mother the experience is so different with each child. I was just amazed that such a small baby could turn the whole house upside down. This thread reminded me of the days long forgotten. I think I need to look at the baby pictures now.
I offered one of the NICU nurses money if she’d come home with us and I was kind of only half kidding. Mine were in NICU for 7 and 8 weeks respectively.
Re drive through deliveries - you can thank Bill Clinton for stopping those.
i was scared to death with #1 to come home. begged for another day. with #4, i also begged for another day; not cuz i was scared, but because the hospital was so peaceful compared to home. Yes, i remember those days - fun to think about!
When I was finishing college I remember a family friend with two daughters. One was getting married (out of college) and the other one was about to graduate. The parents decided at that point to have two more kids and go through the process all over again after the first two had grown up. I couldn’t imagine starting all over again now.
My second was born just before midnight after a fast race to the hospital (we made it by 5 minutes!). I stayed overnight that night and the next night, then they sent me home the next morning. It was ridiculous.
Oh my gosh!
I remember my mother in law telling me a story about a coworker who drove herself to the hospital while in labor. She seemed to think that this was exemplary behavior, and one I should consider for the future.
I had planned on giving birth at a birthing center staffed by midwives. A few of my friends had even given birth at home ( attended by a midwife). However when they realized I had a bicornate uterus, they made me switch to an OB/gyn and to a hospital closer to our home.
I hadn’t even begun the Lamaze classes, when I was sent to the teaching hospital across the lake, which was set up for high risk moms and babies for the northwest region, inc Alaska. Not a place where you would find a birthing suite. Before I was moved to a private room, my roommate ( who was getting IV mag sulfate & named Bunny), and I, shared a bathroom with 5 women in an adjoining room.
Not like my sisters experience in the hospital I would have given birth in, which was all flattering lighting, and a gourmet celebratory candlelight dinner in your room with your spouse.
Sigh.
But just like the wedding doesn’t make the marriage, neither the birth ( or the adoption process), decides what your relationship with your child will be like.
( of course if it did- mine might not be so hard on me now. ) =((
I was in the hospital 36-48 hours with both of mine ('93 and '98). I remember asking when pregnant with my first how long I could stay and I was told the hospital’s policy was 48 hours and they would code it so the insurance would pay the bills for it.
I had some complications with my first that caused me to be inducted almost two weeks early. That was a long, slow delivery. D was not ready to be born yet and was resisting coming. H forgets things easily on a day to day basis, but he did not forget how long that labor and delivery went.
When it came time for S to be born, he didn’t believe me when I told him it was time to go to the hospital. He insisted on taking D to walmart for a new barbie doll, saying they would only be gone for a half hour. 1½ hours later he finally came home. Then, he wanted to eat dinner. My mom was there to take care of D and made him a sandwich to eat in the car. He didn’t understand why he couldn’t sit at the table. My mom took one look at him and shooed him out to the car.
We got into the hospital and my water immediately broke. A tech or someone grabbed a wheel chair and pointed H towards the elevator. H said shouldn’t we check in first? The tech said no, we will catch up with you just go.
When we got to the maternity ward, the nurses hurried and got me into a bed. They then told me to stop because my doctor was the only doctor in the ER and he couldn’t come right then. I told them the baby was coming with or without the doctor, the nurses could either deliver it or they could get a doctor there. The doctor got there in 2 minutes and S got there 30 seconds after that. S was born less than 30 minutes after we parked in the hospital parking lot. I told H he better believe me the next time. He has made sure there wasn’t a next time.
Oh my goodness the birthing center! After 30 plus hours in labor with no sleep and a C-section later and a couple horrible days in the regular hospital I got transferred to lobster dinner with beer and the room with a hot tub. Bliss before going home to real life. And the nurses were SO much nicer.
I strangled a couple nurses on the regular floor. I literally threw one out of my room and told her to not come back. And she didn’t. I put one on a pedestal though–older nurse who was VERY kind and smart about babies. She assured me that babies don’t break and were actually fun once you got the hang of it and to not be afraid. And she assured me that the kid would still be around AFTER I slept as long as I needed.
About bathing–I didn’t do that for a very long time! My H would lay her on the length of his arm–head in hand and body down his arm–and be done in two seconds flat.
My first thought was Why are they letting us take this baby home? Our pediatrician assured us that the Dr on call expected calls from the new parents off hours (and he got them). Even getting arms and legs into onesies was a challenge.
When DS 2 came along it all seemed so much easier. Especially breast feeding (at least one of us had experience and knew what should be going on)
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I strangled a couple nurses on the regular floor. I literally threw one out of my room and told her to not come back. And she didn’t.
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With my first, the C-section complications were much worse and I did have to order one !@#$% nurse out of my room and to never come back…and she was reassigned. That was such a first because I have a lot of respect for nurses, they have such a hard job, and they’re usually VERY nice and caring. This one was a cold-hearted witch who couldn’t believe that I was in the pain that I was in.
I don’t know if the pain was worse with S1 because the C-section was after 36 hours of labor or not. All I know is that the pain was far worse than with S2…and I had complications with that one, too…had to stay 6 days
So although the race to the hospital with D2’s delivery 5 minutes later was exciting, I had to take a cab to the hospital in the middle of the night for D1 because (now ex-) H was out of town. Six weeks early, my water broke, and there was really no choice. I gathered up phone numbers, took the dog out one last time (took key to hospital and called neighbors in the morning to come get it and take him out), packed a suitcase, called my mom (a 10 hour drive away, H was camping and unreachable), and called a cab. Left the porch light off and bundled up in a big coat, and told the driver to take me to the hospital about 15 minutes away. Gritted my teeth through a few contractions, but didn’t make a peep in the back seat. He asked me where i wanted to be dropped off, and I said, “Oh, the ER entrance would be good.”. When I got out to pay him and he realized how pregnant I was, his eyes got huge. I am sure he would not have driven me if he had realized…