<p>I must respectfully disagree with many of the sentiments here. A first communion IS a religious event and a very meaningful one for a Catholic. The whole point is a religious emphasis! My sons both received beautiful leather bound bibles with their names embossed as well as rosaries they both have and cherish 15 to 20 years later. Even if you are not Catholic or Christian, why would you not want to respect the religious tradition of the young person celebrating this spiritual milestone? If I were invited to a Bar or Bat Mitzvah, I would joyfully find an appropriate religious gift for the young person or for an Evangelical family who had a dedication service for their child, I would do the same as well. To me, a “special day outing” is more of a birthday or graduation present. Even if there are religious differences in the family, I would not do anything to emphasize the conflict for a first communion. Children are very sensitive to these conflicts. It should only be a happy day of celebration.</p>
<p>Because the poor kid is going to get more than enough repetitious cross figurines and plaques and picture frames from the other side of her family, that’s why.</p>
<p>BTW, there is NO “conflict” in our extended family at all about religion. It’s a complete non-issue that my sister is raising her family Catholic and I raised my family Jewish. And of course it will be a happy day of celebration; there’s no reason it wouldn’t be. Please don’t try to beat a strawman that doesn’t exist.</p>
<p>there was no conflict in our family, growing up, either.</p>
<p>But, I do remember all of the things my aunt took me to do, and I cannot for the life of me remember one other thing other than the 14K gold cross my dad’s mother gave me, which I wasn’t even allowed to wear, which I’m sure is the only reason I remember it. ;)</p>
<p>Go for an outing. Enjoy each other’s company. In the end, that’s what really matters.</p>
<p>ETA: Now that I really press my memory, I think the cross was for my confirmation, anyway.</p>
<p>“Have fun. I love to borrow the nieces and nephews now that mine are mostly grown up.”</p>
<p>Me, too! I enjoy the time as much as they do!</p>
<p>My sons both received beautiful leather bound bibles with their names embossed as well as rosaries they both have and cherish 15 to 20 years later.</p>
<p>And, it sounds like the niece’s dad’s side will be giving these things. I never expected our non-Catholic guests to our kids’ events to give “Catholic things”. Whatever they gave was appreciated. We were just glad that they participated in the day and the party after.</p>
<p>Years ago I went to my best friend’s First Communion. I was with her when she opened her gifts. I swear, she got at least five engraved
Bibles and at least five lovely crosses. I can’t imagine what she did with all of these duplicate gifts.</p>
<p>An outing is special…get a very nice card and write a note that will honor the occasion.</p>
<p>I think that the American Girl Doll day is a lovely idea. DD would have LOVED to have gotten that as a gift. Most people around here give cash or gift cards with the Godparents giving more religious gifts. The church gave each child a bible. DD got gold cross earrings from her Godparents. She got plenty of other religious items as well but mostly they got cash. First Communion is a big deal in the Catholic church but no where near as big of a deal as a bar/bat mitzvah.</p>
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<p>I’ll be honest, my kids didn’t want “religious” gifts for their bar / bat mitzvah. There are only so many chai necklaces and earrings a young girl can stand to wear. And while it would be thoughtful of the OP above to try to get something religious, if you don’t know what you’re doing, it could really backfire or you could wind up with something that wouldn’t be used or appreciated - esp in Judaism, where the rituals / practices of the Orthodox (for example) would be so different from that of the Reform.</p>
<p>It means a great deal to some people to give a religious item - this sentiment may be more important to the giver than the actual usefulness of the gift. It is common - each of my kids (in Catholic school at the time) decorated a shoebox to store the various picture frames, necklaces, rosaries, etc., before their communion, so the teacher anticipated the situation!</p>
<p>I’m not the type to decorate the house with crosses in every room or figurines displayed all about, so most of the decorative stuff went into the boxes. I had a rosary made (by a religious order who does beautiful, custom work) for each child, which they keep in their nightstand, along with a bible, but that’s it. For me, faith resides in the soul, and most religious paraphernalia is just junk. It reminds me of our school’s annual field trip to LaSalette. When the bus arrives, the kids are ushered into an enormous gift shop, full of unbelievable trinkets. Ever seen a 24" Virgin Mary with real hair glued on? Just remembering…the hair may have been rabbit fur.</p>
<p>gourmetmom-- that’s a great gift, actually.</p>
<p>(Not for Pizzagirl, obviously, but just in general.)</p>
<p>My girls, who aren’t big into the religious paraphanelia, never lost their rosaries. They are just too cool a thing to have.</p>
<p>Very true that the church (or Catholic school) may be giving each child a Rosary and/or bible…and yes, Godparents tend to give the religious stuff as well.</p>
<p>In PG’s case, a non-religious item is totally fine. This is her sister’s kid. Her sister well knows that PG is Jewish and certainly wouldn’t be giving her niece “Catholic stuff”. Her sister would never expect it, so no need to worry about an potential gossip/criticims. And, certainly, the sister’s in-laws know of PG’s faith, so they wouldn’t be expecting crosses and rosaries from Auntie PG. I’m sure that everyone will just be happy to have PG and her H participating in the special day.</p>
<p>I’m facing an interesting question right now. My daughter is about to be ordained as an Episcopal Priest and people are asking me about gifts. What do you give a married, 27 year old Priest? Um…wine…running shoes… 
There is actually a site for female vestments which is pretty cool, but NOT inexpensive (supply & demand and all that).</p>
<p>Buy her a spa package.</p>
<p>Just to remind her to remember to take care of herself, since she will go forth and give and give and give, from here on out.</p>
<p>MOWC…what about donations to a charity in your daughter’s name…that would be very nice, and I’m sure there are some worthy things that she is involved in.</p>
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<p>My opinion…the gift GIVERs religion and faith should have NO BEARING on their choice of a gift for the recipient. We have folks of several religions in this family…our gift choices are based on what we think the RECIPIENT would appreciate, not on our own religious beliefs.</p>
<p>PG…like I said, you can get a lovely card for the First Communion and write a note in it about this milestone. Then include whatever gift you would like to give this young lady. A special day is truly that…special.</p>
<p>Thumper…</p>
<p>I can understand what you’re saying, but I think that it’s harder for a Jewish person to purchase/give Christian gifts than the other way around. Judaism is part of Christian history so it’s not a big deal for Christians to buy Jewish items for their special days. It’s understandable that a Jewish person might feel uncomfortable buying crosses and rosaries and saint books, etc.</p>
<p>thumper, I’m actually going to disagree with you. A Jewish person is not necessarily going to understand the “milestone” of First Communion. I would never be able to write about the “milestone” of a Bar/Bat Mitzvah as someone who wasn’t raised in the Jewish faith. Furthermore, I would never expect someone outside of my faith to give me religious-oriented things for my religious ceremonies.</p>
<p>This is why I think spending a special day with the niece is what is most appropriate (and will be greatly appreciated for years to come). It gets rid of the pressure of buying something or about writing about something you don’t necessarily understand.</p>
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<p>I FULLY agree with this…where did I say otherwise.</p>
<p>What I’m trying to say is that the religious faith of the GIVER should not drive the purchase of the gift for the RECIPIENT. If the person is comfortable purchasing a religious item, fine…but if not…that’s fine too. </p>
<p>I’m not Catholic, but I DO understand that the First Communion is an important religious event for those who are. Christenings are the same. There have been times when I HAVE gotten something with a religious theme because I knew the recipient would appreciate the gift. </p>
<p>In this case, we’re talking about a very young girl who will likely receive religious items from her godparents, parents and the church. PG will be there to celebrate the event with the young lady and her family. A gift of TIME with her niece is a lovely gift idea. And that choice has nothing whatsoever to do with PG’s religious beliefs.</p>
<p>^ I consider this: </p>
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<p>to be religious-oriented.</p>
<p>I think you’re getting sticklerish.</p>
<p>I’m sure anyone can write a little note about the occaison without being overly theological in the matter. I’m sure there was no question this would be done, anyway.</p>
<p>Clearly the OP has a strong social IQ.</p>
<p>OK…when I go to an event…I get a card suited for that event. If I were going to a first communion…I would get a first communion card. If a bar mitzvah…a bar mitzvah card…a christening…a christening card. And I always congratulate the person in the card…</p>
<p>If that is viewed as “religious” so be it.</p>