First practice essay: Please help me grade grammatix method

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1

<p>This is my first time using grammatix method, i think my bodies need more detail and critical thinking. </p>

<p>what can i do to improve my essay guys? and what do you think i would get </p>

<p>THANKS!</p>

<p>PROMPT: Are we free to make our own choices in life, or are our decisions always limited by the rules of society? </p>

<p>Decisions in life are free and unrestricted from imposed authority. Though at times oppression may occur, it just takes a courageous ideal to gain freedom. As exemplified by the American Revolution and the book, East of Eden, we are free to make our own choices in life.
The founding fathers of America were severely oppressed by British Rule. The Stamp and Tea Taxes restricted colonists in America and caused much anger. In response to Britain’s indecent laws the American’s started a revolution. The American’s determination was like iron, hard and unyielding. On July 4th, 1776 America gained its independence. The Americas finally gained freedom from its restrictive shackles.
Oppression is a cruel, hard path that is difficult to escape from. In John Steinback’s book, East of Eden, a young boy named Caleb is haunted by the thought that he has no choice in life. Caleb believes he is inherently evil and will turn out corrupt like his mother. The book’s defining theme, Timshell, the power of choice, is exemplified when Caleb overcomes his fear and charts his own destiny. Caleb was limited with rules but realized that he always had a choice.
The examples of the American Revolution, and East of Eden clearly show that we have freedom and choice in life. Choice is a very real power that human’s have, and is capable of creating brighter futures.</p>

2

<p>bumpity bump bump</p>

3

<p>Honestly, you really need some length, not sure how this fills the pages, but you need to fill AT LEAST a page and a half to get above an 8.</p>

4

<p>lol this was almost a page and a half long for me</p>

5

<p>okay, hard to judge a typed page versus a hand written, but remember the longer the essay the higher the score. Try to have as many examples as feasibly possible, we were told at least 3, gives you bulk and substance to the argument and fills the pages :)</p>