<p>Zoosergirl is bummed. Didn’t have the academic success she’d hoped for at all. Ended up with a 2.76 for the year and feels like a total loser. Do other kids sometimes stumble the first year? I told her that the adjustment would have had an affect, as well is the multiple hospitalizations early in the year, but she has convinced herself that she’ll never hold a job or make anything of herself. Oh, did I mention she was diagnosed with mono this morning and is sicker than a dog. Three dogs, in fact. On top of the fact that she has an interview for a high-paying, interesting internship in her hoped-for field on Thursday.</p>
<p>Keep telling her things will get better! Going away to school is quite an adjustment and hers was complicated by health issues. We saw D1 improve with each semester. Give her lots of encouragement and a big hug!</p>
<p>I know that a couple of the merit scholarships my daughter got allowed for a lower GPA the first year than they did in subsequent years. I have to believe that it is because kids OFTEN stumble in that first year. It’s a huge adjustment for any kid, never mind one who had other challenges to overcome too.</p>
<p>And yes, I know the cynical would say the difference is because they know a lot of kids will lose the scholarship in subsequent years, but I’m feeling generous today…</p>
<p>zoosermom, here’s a nice Cabernet and some of what S2 calls stinky cheese. </p>
<p>Zoosergirl is not at all alone, and while her situation last fall very likely exacerbated the situation (and her illness right now is no doubt adding to her gloom), she might likely have felt this way in any case. </p>
<p>D said much the same about her first year (and she had had a sports injury and surgery in the two weeks surrounding her fall birthday), and was convinced that the fact that she, unlike “all her friends,” didn’t have a swanky internship last summer meant she was destined for failure. By August she was psyched about going back, and by February she was joking about how happy she was to have had her sophomore slump early, because she was as upbeat as could be during a time when others were losing steam.</p>
<p>Things will get better. Meantime, it’s a good sign that she talks to you about it. And I truly hope she feels physically better quickly, too. Mono’s a beast.</p>
<p>Oh your poor zoosergirl! That’s not a good combination of events. Remind her that when you’re sick with mono NOTHING in the world looks good and that things will look brighter when she feels better. And she has to rest as much as possible!! I hope she’s almost done for the semester?? </p>
<p>I’m beaming her lots of support and hugs - and to you too for being there for her.</p>
<p>VERY common. (much more so than you would think from living on this forum).
Lots of students at my kids’ colleges got well below 3.0 GPAs freshman year. My niece at Penn State was below 3.0 in engineering (not that unusual at all) after freshman year and that was really pulling it up from first semester.
There are usually several freshmen courses that are killer in various majors. Tell your daughter to keep her chin up and carefully select courses for fall semester (check the reviews of the profs) to maximize doing well and enjoying the classes. That will build confidence.</p>
<p>Thank you all so much. Sometimes it’s nice to know that you’re not the only one who’s ever been sucked (or seen your child sucked) into the abyss.</p>
<p>If there is a particular class or two that were really low, many schools let you repeat them to bring GPA up, particularly if they were freshman classes. She could check and see if it really bothers her. One of DD’s friends had a similar GPA and is going back this summer to take a couple over. Her school lets them take the old grade off the GPA for a limited number of classes if the second grade is higher. Her parents agreed to let her and she has a part time job around the school.</p>
<p>BTW - one thing we really liked at Rice was that during first quarter the freshman could drop a class without prejudice almost until the final exam. It was a nice safety valve.</p>
<p>I had a lower undergrad GPA than that (total, not just for freshman year). A year out of college, I have a great, well-paying job that I like, and I’m in grad school part-time.</p>
<p>So she doesn’t need to feel like she ruined her life. And it’s good that you are so supportive of her. :)</p>
<p>My GPA was just a hair above that my freshman year. By the end of junior year, I was Phi Beta Kappa. (not that it did me a whole lot of good - though I’m not complaining. ;))</p>
<p>ZM: Sorry to hear that. Time to let her in on a secret: GPA doesn’t matter so much in freshman year of college. The key is to get past the early stuff so that you can concentrate on the more interesting and relevant stuff in later years.</p>
<p>Getting good grades when you’re sick isn’t easy. My youngest brother got an A, a B, a C and a D his first term in college. My parents didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I didn’t have grades like that as a freshman, but I’m pretty sure I only got one A in a notorious gut. I did much, much better after that when I figured out what sort of courses I actually enjoyed taking.</p>
<p>S’s first semester freshman yr. was his worst gpa wise. He has just finished jr. yr. and he has improved every semester. ZG doesn’t need to beat herself up over it. She did fine and will get better when she is a healthy seasoned soph.</p>
<p>My whine…S had a very important (to his career after college) summer committment (military…Navy Seals type thing) that was to start in 2 weeks. He broke his big toe (badly) on Saturday and now can’t go. Now he won’t be eligble to compete for a spot in the unit after grad. He has been training hard for this (very selective) thing for months and had a great shot at getting in. Now the whole thing is blown. Our whole famliy and esp. S is pretty depressed. I know lots worse things are happenng out there but it’s like his dream was within his reach and then just crushed (literally) by dropping a 45 lb. dumbbell on his foot. It’s hard to take.</p>
<p>Packmom- so sorry My D is athletic and has had some injuries that nearly ruined significant plans- it is soooooo frustrating when you’ve done all the right things to be where you need to be and then something stupid ruins it.</p>
<p>ZM: good for you for posting here- it can be intimidating when “every one” else’s kids are 4.0 and getting fancy awards to post the scary stuff. Your bravery will help many who read this and realise that things are good for some and not for others and they can all turn out well.</p>
<p>I recall when my DD was not having fun, not liking her school, then she got an A in first term chem and a C+ in second term chem- she thought life was over and it really hit her self esteem- she was also guilty of not attending every class and she was not one who talked to me, back then, she kept her pain to herself and let it hurt her self esteem. Not good. </p>
<p>Now she talks these negatives over with us, we brainstorm ideas, she makes good choices about proceeding and does not consider life ruined by one bad thing. Now she is in grad school and calls me at least once a week with some good story about a compliment from a prof or a good exam score. She is seeing everything more positively.</p>
<p>It was a bumpy road to get there, but your DD talking to you about it, and inviting input is a huge signal she is going to be okay</p>
<p>Thanks for the kind words guys. S is back at the gym as we speak lifting weights with his foot in a protective boot…arrggh.</p>
<p>ZM…my S2 will be a freshman at one of our state u’s. in Aug. He is no academic phenom (just an average student) and has always been one who leans more toward giving up when the grades start going south. I worry about how he’ll do in college next semester. I struggled in my first three semesters of college so I have admitted to him all the bad grades I made, the classes I took more than once and the frustration I felt when I just didn’t “get it” sometimes. I am emphasizing to him that it’s not how you start it’s that you finish. I think I only made the Dean’s list once the whole time I was in college but I graduated and got a job in my major. DH majored in engineering. He made the maximum amt. of D’s he could have on his transcript and still graduate. He got hired before he graduated and has been employed in the nuclear power industry for almost thirty years.
Emphasize to her that she doesn’t have to be great in everything to be successful.</p>
My D is athletic and has had some injuries that nearly ruined significant plans- it is soooooo frustrating when you’ve done all the right things to be where you need to be and then something stupid ruins it.</p>