FIT admission Essay

Hi, Im working in my admissions essay for the Fashion Institue of technology for the Fashion Business Management Major, Im writing my last paragraph answering the second prompt question, I’d like to know how my essay sounds so far and I’d really appreciate feedback and suggestions.

What makes you a perfect candidate for FIT? Why are you interested in the major you are applying to?. (No more than 750 words, please.)

When I think of the importance of fashion in my life, I immediately think of the effect it has on how both men and women express themselves in their own style, as well as in the creation of those feelings of empowerment, uniqueness, and even a sense of identity. I come from a country in Central America called Honduras, and growing up my grandmother was a seamstress who worked for different boutiques; her work motivated me to explore fashion on a deeper level, to be surrounded by fabrics, sewing machines and seeing her job, prompted my fervent love fashion and impacted me to seek and show my best self through the use of style and concepts. Nevertheless, the reality I was presented to back in my country was scarcely related to who I desired to be. As a young girl, flipping through fashion magazines and watching runway shows made it seem as though I had not yet entered that world filled with innovation and creativity. I started to immerse myself in as many fashion-related media as I could without understanding a word of English, at first I was impressed by the stunning gowns and editorial makeup looks, and as time progressed my passion for the backstage process developed, I was fascinated by the work that involved putting a collection together, the cognitive approach behind forecasting trends and the business of fashion. 

Through the years my love for fashion has made me distinctive from the rest and I knew that the future I saw for myself was unattainable in my country. The violence and lack of opportunities around me made me understand that my place was somewhere else in the world and I had to sacrifice everything I knew in order to fulfill my dream. I started teaching myself English without knowing that I will be here one day, sharing my story with my dream school and beginning a new path. My determination to become more than one would expect was so strong, that one day my prayers and talk into existence became my reality, and I had the opportunity to emigrate to the United States. It wasn’t easy at first to emigrate to America with my mother and my younger sibling. Mom will now have to work two jobs, while I had to look after my brother, which made it ten times harder for me to do anything. I suited the role as a sister, as well as a mother figure to my brother; Being an undocumented immigrant in America taught me a lot about motivation and determination, and about the value of holding on to my goals, having such responsibility for myself led to becoming a leader, my challenges have since been used as an encouragement to support my path instead of an obstacle.

Many opportunities have been denied to me because of my migration status, which caused me to take it upon myself to make those opportunities my own. I enrolled in a night school program during high school that allowed me to graduate a year ahead of my class. I put all my resources into funding a summer program at LIM, which opened my mind to a vast amount of ideas and taught me about the different careers in fashion and their outcomes. This experience made me feel like I had a chance to succeed regardless of where I came from, reassuring me that I could become something incredible that would inspire others with effort, dedication and strategy.