Fixed essay as per CC suggestions. Readers?

College Essays
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<p>This is now my second draft of the Common App essay. As per CC readers’ suggestions, things have been added/removed, so now its onto the “still a draft, but better” stage. So, are there any readers? (I will be PMing. If you want to see the first draft, just say so. If you read my essay before, excellent.) Much thanks.</p>

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<p>It wouldn’t make sense to read just the second draft. I would be able to better gauge your improvement if I read both the versions. If you see fit, PM me :)</p>

<p>I can help with grammatical mistakes and cohesiveness of the essay as a whole. Won’t forget spellings as well.</p>

3

<p>I would be happy to provide feedback. I have a B.A. from Stanford and a J.D. from Harvard (and can verify for you). If you want me to take a look, please PM me your draft and the prompt you chose.
JP</p>

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<p>I will help if any way I can, I’m a fair critic. Pm me :)</p>

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<p>I’ll help!</p>

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<p>I’ll help if you still need!</p>

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<p>Sending PMS in 30 minutes or so. Anyone else?</p>

8

<p>sure ill give it a read and let you know what i think</p>

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<p>I’d like to read it!</p>