I’m hoping your collective wisdom will help me out again.
My son’s girlfriend will be with us over Christmas, for about 2 weeks. I have never met her, and I know nothing about what it means to be Hindu. (I’m starting to research it). She is from a warm climate, and I know she doesn’t eat beef. The only present he was able to suggest is out of my price range. (I’m thinking of a couple to several small gifts, maybe $100 - $200 total). I was thinking maybe lip gloss, for example, but her skin is medium to dark, so I don’t know what shades would be appropriate. In a picture she is wearing a headband, so that’s an easy gift. I may get a couple of experiences for while she’s here, even if I wind up giving them a little early. Also, any ideas for EASY food I can make while she’s here, or other things that might help make her comfortable? It seems like he ate a lot of cheese and rice when he was with her, so I can look for cheesy rice recipes. Other than that I’m kind of clueless. Any help or guidance is appreciated. I know her parents are conservative, and it’s quite a big deal that she gets to visit us. I want to make her feel welcome, and include her, but I don’t want to do anything that will offend her or appears insensitive.
Thanks in advance.
Did your son eat a lot of cheese because it had a prominent role in their meals or because he found their food too spicy and cheese was something he could deal with? I am more familiar with South Indian cooking and cheese is hardly ever present. I know there are some Northern Indian dishes with cheese in them but India in general is not France if you know what I mean. Just make sure it is just beef that she doesn’t eat. A lot of Hindus are vegetarian or might only eat chicken or fish other than vegetables. Also, their cooking is usually made from fresh ingredients rather than from processed products. Most young Indian Americans I know however are very open to mainstream American foods so I wouldn’t worry too much.
As far as presents is concerned, just treat her like you would any other girl. Ask your son about her likes and dislikes, any books, music, a purse or some other accessories?
Good question about the cheese and rice. I will ask my son, but he’s pretty oblivious to much of what I am worried about. His palette was certainly expanded when he visited her.
depending on the climate you live in - nice gloves, scarf, blanket scarf, wristlet, iTunes gift card, Alex and Ani bracelet . . . I think it’s pretty easy shopping for a female. I have no ideas for young men!
Maybe some bath and beauty products like Philosophy, a giftset of eyeliners, nail polish, or lipgloss. (which includes a mix of colors) Perhaps a nice sweater or scarves, hat, and gloves set. A throw blanket for the dorm if they live in a cold weather area. Holiday flannel pajamas. She might like spicy food since a lot of different spices are used in indian cooking. Is she new to this country or brought up here? Cheese used in indian food is called, “paneer.” One popular dish is palak paneer which means spinach and cheese. There are a lot of indian recipes that can be found on youtube. She may like having pasta if she is vegetarian. If you live near a trader joes grocery store they sell some ready made indian food there. Even if she is new to the country a lot of the chain and fastfood American restaurants are also in India. She may like Mexican food since it has some spice. Vegetable quesadillas, or Chinese food.
Unless you were already in the habit of gifting your son’s former girlfriends with a side of corned-beef for Xmas, I would just select a gift you might give to any other girl.
What happened to the Singapore gal?
I love Indian food and do a lot of Indian cooking. Alas, although my S has had several Asian GFs, none of them has been Indian! 
For Indian recipes, I strongly recommend Madhur Jaffrey. She has a book of comparatively simple recipes entitled At Home with Madhur Jaffrey. You can find lots of her recipes online, too.
Other than that, I would suggest that you cook what you normally would, but avoid things you know she cannot eat, such as beef. Perhaps she will want to cook an Indian meal for you while she’s visiting. That’s what my S’s Chinese GF did. (I have a cupboard full of authentic Chinese ingredients, and three woks, but she didn’t use most of them, LOL.)
I love this recipe, and it keeps well:
http://www.greenbeansnmore.com/recipe-v.html
Here’s the (delicious) recipe from the “At Home” book, simplified:
Either of these is great with a simple grilled chicken breast or whatever.
I would not change a bit about my cooking, unless there is a real dietary allergy involved. A vegetarian can always eat at my house well, because I make a variety of dishes. When in Rome… Somehow, after the initial shock (OMG, beets!!!) my kids’ Asian, German, American BFs liked my Ukrainian borscht to the point of licking their plates clean. So my point is: no need to get in a tizzy about making a whole new menu. GF will be fine, as long as you provide a variety of choices and not just a meat/potato menu. 
No matter what Indian dish you make, it will not be an authentic Indian dish. As far as gift goes, if she is OK with wool, a Nordstrom tissue weight cashmere blend wrap in a neutral color (e.g., cream) with a gift receipt is a very practical gift for $100. Great for travels. I always bring 2 - one for me, and one for Mr.
While I love Indian food - and agree that Madhur Jaffrey’s recipes are delicious - I wouldn’t necessarily serve it to someone from India.
Indians are often familiar with “Western” food and the young lady would probably prefer to eat American style while she’s here. Establish whether she eats chicken or fish, but don’t hesitate to make dishes such as pizza (perfect for vegetarians), pasta, grilled chicken/salmon if applicable, etc. Indian cuisine doesn’t have the wealth of desserts we do, so feel free to also serve American style treats such as brownies, chocolate chip cookies, pie, etc.
I would also give her “Western” style gifts. For example, while I like getting scarves, someone from India might be underwhelmed since they have such fabulous fabrics - and that includes scarves - readily available there. (Although I do think a nice pair of gloves will be a good gift, especially if she’s not used to our cold.)
I’d also consider a nice set of skincare/body lotion/cosmetics from a quality/recognizable company; perfume; perhaps Native American-style silver/turquoise jewelry; if your budget is $200, that would cover a simple bracelet from Tiffany* (for example http://■■■■■■/E4p6Rf or http://■■■■■■/LFNfQA) If she’s college age, she may enjoy a sweatshirt from your flagship U or your son’s school. A nice calendar with photos of American sites or a picture book are also appropriate, although a bit less personal, gifts.
I have a hunch, once you start thinking about it, you will have lots and lots of tempting ideas. (It’s fun shopping for young women!)
*I once gave a young Russian woman, who studied literature, a gift of a Tiffany bracelet and a copy of Capote’s Breakfast at Tiffany’s. It was a major hit.
Thanks for all the suggestions. Neither of my sons has ever brought a girl home to stay with us. I will have to be very casual about it when they are here, but this seems to be a somewhat big deal.
It will be a big deal to her, too! (Remember meeting boyfriends’ mothers? Yikes!)
I would have been silently furious if my boyfriend’ s mother gave me makeup that wasn’t what I usually wore. I would have read it as an insult to my taste and grooming.
I was just imagining visiting the Indian family of a BF and having them serve me green bean casserole on the theory that this was “American” food. I’ve never had it, and never WANT to have it, LOL.
I like the warm gloves idea, perhaps a sweater in a solid color, tickets to events, maybe a silver item from someplace like James Avery? Love the idea of Native American silver and tourquise jewelry. (Well, I just love Navaho jewelry in general…)
I knew you guys would come through for me
I would avoid cooking Indian food for her too. You are just not going to cook it the same. It’s better to stick with more American fare or like someone suggested Mexican. Nice body or hand lotions like somebody suggested are a good choice for a gift.
As someone mentioned, find out if she’s vegetarian or just doesn’t eat beef. I’m just thinking how it would be if it were one of my kids - they would rather want something you’d traditionally have that they could eat - Chinese food you were Chinese, and the same for Italian or Mexican or whatever. The last thing they’d want is for you to have cooked something Indian just for them. If it were my kids, I wouldn’t give jewelry or makeup - on most days they don’t wear either, but then everyone is different.
Dragonmom,
I only mentioned cosmetic gift sets with a variety of colors because whenever I would visit cousins in India they loved makeup from the U.S. It was one of the more popular gifts that would get requested not considered offensive. Actually anything with an American label is greatly appreciated. Growing up I remember my mom buying a whole suitcase of cosmetics to give as gifts to relatives because we were always short handed on gifts. A relative once came to visit here and she took home all kinds of cosmetics, perfumes, and shampoos for her family back home. Loreal and Revlon cosmetics were a big hit and were not available there. I always get requests for makeup from Sephora.
As far as indian food, each household can make the same recipe but it will turn out different.
Remember the prohibition on beef extends to leather. So, if you give gloves or a purse–which are items others have mentioned in this thread–make sure they aren’t leather.
Spicy Mexican food that involves beans rather than beef might be appreciated, if it’s in your repertoire. I have seen Indian families eating at Taco Bell!