<p>Guys, if you’re like me, you can get by with a toothbrush, a tube of anti-fungal ointment, and a can of Right Guard. So you may not understand that what roughly 100% of women want as a present this time of year is one of those gift baskets of specialty soaps, bath salts, lotions, and maybe a scented candle. Yeah, I have no clue why they want all this crap, but trust me, any female from age 8 to 100 will be squealing with delight when she opens such a gift. Makes no sense…I mean our ideas of great gifts are like Swiss Army knives, multi-tools, expensive booze, porn, or cheap booze. And our idea of specialty soap is Boraxo. So we don’t get why they want a $50.00 lilac-scented gift set from Bath and Body Works. All I can say is maybe we’re not SUPPOSED to understand.</p>
<p>Really?? I kind of like swiss army knives. I gave my daughter an engraved pink one last year. really! My younger son got one that glows in the dark and my older son got one that has computer sort of tools. I can buy my own soap at the grocery store, thank you very much! A fine gift - Barnes and Noble or Borders gift card.</p>
<p>There is only one no-fail gift. Jewelry. And don’t be cheap.</p>
<p>LOL kathiep!! When I read TourGuide446’s entry last night, my first thought was to say, “I was sort of hoping for a good Leatherman multi-tool this year.”! 
(Or the first season of Saturday Night Live on DVD, but that seems to have gone missing at every store I check. I know where it is, though: it’s with that Wii I’ve been trying to find for my younger son… heh.)</p>
<p>TG you HAD to know that as soon as you post a “For MEN Only!” thread it was going to be swarmed with women. :rolleyes:</p>
<p>I went the other way…this year I went to the jewelery store and bought her an (yes, it was expensive) ankle bracelet…and a new deer rifle. :D</p>
<p>Parent2noles, I think you are way off. I’m sure mootmom and kathiep stumbled into this thread by mistake on their way to a “Best Christmas Cookie Recipes” thread. I’m sure they are too ladylike and refined to come BACK, knowing that they were here by mistake the first time. </p>
<p>P2N, I believe every word of my original post. </p>
<p>I manage a place with a lot of women in it, and I’m still getting crap from them and my wife (who warned me against it) for buying everybody (male and female) the same thing as last year’s present–the wonderful “Waiter” model Swiss Army knife. For Swiss Army afficianados, the Waiter is a real find. Not to go all J. Peterman on you, but I first ran across the Waiter in Geneva, Switzerland, on my way to the Albertville Olympics. I bought a bunch of them, and have given them as presents for years. I have never seen it in US stores. You can get it on the internet, though. </p>
<p>Anywho, parent2noles, just between you and me, I don’t believe a word of katheip’s or mootmom’s posts. They are clearly reverse-Stepford-Wife-ing the I-Am-Woman-Hear-Me-Roar Party line. Yeah, I believe they want knives and multi-tools like I believe they’d prefer to sit around reading the Sunday NY Times with Alan Alda rather than splitting a case of Molson Golden with Rocky Balboa as a prelude to a sweaty mauling.</p>
<p>Parent2noles, I’m glad it’s just us guys here, as I’ve been wanting to ask you a question for a long time: why is it that in every species, the males and females act quite differently, and have different roles; yet in the human species we’re all supposed to be the same? The we’re-all-the-same crowd has a few good points…I love Condi to death as Secretary of State, think Oprah is a shrewd businesswoman, and admire the hell out of Mia Hamm’s athleticism. But the brainwashing has been going on for 40 years, and I still haven’t seen a male dental assistant.</p>
<p>P2N, I’m aftaid I’m getting carried away with the privacy that the gender firewall my emphatic thread title set up (TWO exclamation marks!! They wouldn’t have the balls–hah!!–to enter this thread). So I’m gonna let you in on a little secret: the ultimate way to pull a strident woman’s chain is to suggest that the Olympics drop all the gender bias. There should only be ONE 100-meter dash: first HUMAN (male or female) to cross the finish line wins. First HUMAN down the hill wins the skiing races. Pairs figure skating could involve 2 GUYS…it drives the women nuts, as it gets them to say, “That wouldn’t be fair! The guys would win everything!”</p>
<p>Oh, and P2N, I GUESS it’s been so long since you bought jewelry that you even forgot how to spell it!</p>
<p>Hey Tourguide, here’s another woman who couldn’t stay away when it said “Men Only”! I too would prefer book store gift cards and have to admit I asked for a chain saw for Christmas.</p>
<p>I bought <em>myself</em> a swiss army knife when it was on clearance at the sporting goods store awhile back! :)</p>
<p>I prefer high tech gadgets (computer stuff, digital camera stuff, awesome photo printers, etc.) to about anything else right now, but my hubster did spring for a gorgeous gold/diamond necklace for our anniversary two days ago–and some exquisite TALL blown glass calla lillies, my favorite flower! :)</p>
<p>One of my CC girlfriends just blew me away with some MAJORLY exotic chocolates, the kind that will NOT see the outside of my “special hiding place” cabinet until the kids are all in bed!!! ;)</p>
<p>Bath salts?? Who has time for a BATH when you’re a mother of six?? 
<em>lol</em> But, I do love all the lotions and colognes and stuff!</p>
<p>The thing that would truly make me swoon is the Nap blanket/pillow from Brookstone! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… ;)</p>
<p>~berurah</p>
<p>The gift you can’t go wrong with is handcrafted wooden goods. You can make something custom and personal for someone and it can reflect something they’re interested in–if you have a girlfriend who wants to be a brain surgeon, for example, why not make a clock shaped like a brain with the hands looking like scalpels?</p>
<p>It works on guys too. My mom gave me a wooden school bus one year (I am an ed major) to fit in with my academia collection that I collect. Even had my district’s name on it.</p>
<p>To make a long story short: WOOD IS GOOD.</p>
<p>I think you mean, “to make a short story long, wood is good”…IF you know what I mean…</p>
<p>Sheesh, I sure did. Well, it’s important not to spoil a good thing because Russian women were, in fact, good snipers. Of course, a lot of them got killed in the effort. </p>
<p>“Abe Lincoln may have freed all men, but [Sam</a> Colt](<a href=“http://www.cedarhillcemetery.org/Colt.htm]Sam”>http://www.cedarhillcemetery.org/Colt.htm) made them equal.”</p>
<p>Let’s see, I count six uses of my screen name 'parent2noles"(C) or “P2N”(C) plus common variants in that post. </p>
<p>Such use exceeds reasonable fair use and will cost you one of those excellent Swiss knives. ;)</p>
<p>TourGuide, I’ve seen two male dental assistants - one in my daughter’s dentist’s office, back when she went to a pediatric dentist, and one at my dentist’s!</p>
<p>My take is that women don’t have any interest in the handmade wooden objects, but they might appreciate the effort and attention. What they really want is shoes. Unfortunately there is no way we can buy shoes for gifts. There is always a size and fit issue, but that is the least important part. Trends, fashions, and styles, and colors are beyond my comprehension. I take a slightly more utilitarian approach. I don’t buy any brown clothes for work so I get by with a single pair of black shoes. A pair each of slippers, tennis shoes, mocs, and a couple of boots completes my footware wardrobe. I am not sure I would know what to do with anything more. I guess I would just leave them in the back of the closet as replacements.</p>
<p>In the past I tried the jewelry thing. I had to give up. I just don’t appreciate the difference between plastic and real pearls or between glass and real diamonds and gems.</p>
<p>By the way, when it comes to personal cleansing agents, try Ivory soap. There are minimal scents and additives and you can also use it as shampoo. I have never quite understood why women would use a soap which contains lotion. I thought the idea of soap was to remove the oils and dirt. I am not sure why they use products which slime up your skin with more stuff.</p>
<p>I forgot to add, don’t buy pots, pans or other kitchen items, even if they are really nice and good quality. A guy would always appreciate a good cordless electric drill for the workshop. Don’t try that same logic when picking gifts for women.</p>
<p>TourGuide,</p>
<p>My girlfriend wanted a copy of the World of Warcraft expansion instead of a soap/smelly stuff basket. Trust me, I tried the latter, but she insisted on getting back into WoW.</p>
<p>There are exceptions, even if the rule usually makes sense.</p>
<p>And no, my girlfriend doesn’t have poor hygiene/isn’t smelly.</p>
<p>Ok, just because the female Russian snipers hit somebody, it doesn’t mean they hit WHAT THEY WERE AIMING AT.</p>
<p>edad, I’m with you about the difference between fake jewelry and “real” jewlry. If you can’t tell the difference without a magnifying glass, why pay 100 times more for it?</p>
<p>OK, so we got 2 male dental assistants. I think my point is still standing.</p>
<p>I’d be glad to send you one of those knives Pee2N. I have a few left over from last year’s mass Christmas purchase. PM me your address, and I get one to you. If you don’t want your wife to know about it, PM me your girlfriend’s address.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Hah. Personally, I wouldn’t want to take my chances with that one.</p>
<p>Not that I plan on being shot at by Russian snipers any time soon.</p>
<p>guy here.</p>
<p>Tourguide the problem I see with your original post is I can’t even buy them that kind of stuff. Watch a woman (sorry I’ll get killed for this but I think it’s true) in a bath-type store. They smell everything and mostly the reaction is “ew”. Once in a while (and this holds for candles and perfume at least in my experience too) you’ll get “that smells nice”, you try to tuck that into your brain for future use, which of course by the time you need it you’ve forgotten. To me, EVERYTHING in the store smells nice. The price we pay for having less developed olfactory senses I suppose.</p>
<p>btw I bought her a designer handbag for Christmas. She’ll love it. Yet I left the store feeling I’d been had. How can that piece of leather and plastic?vinyl? be worth hundreds of dollars. I almost coulda bought a lower end flat screen HD TV for that price ;)!</p>
<p>this thread is hilarious. anyone wants to compile a consensus for what women want? it’d be useful…</p>