<p>Statistics, by definition, do not apply to individuals.</p>
<p>@neato</p>
<p>It does… with a certain degree of probability. Individuals contribute to statistics, and the reverse may not be always true but works well in many cases. It works much better than anecdotes.</p>
<p>My guys will say their school is the BEST and that’s all that matters. They attend/ed different schools. Silly thread.</p>
<p>I don’t know that the thread is silly, but I do think the conversation has veered off into yet another defense of hidden gems over acronymn schools. For many families, Go Big or Go Home just means that significant dollars invested must equal significant returns. So, while there are many schools out there that will provide my kid with a better education than he might get at home, there aren’t nearly as many for which the financial sacrifice equals the benefit to kid. </p>
<p>In our case, (I’m afraid this is going to sound snotty) “Go big” meant a school with other students who were as bright and motivated as my kid (because what drove him to bs in the first place were the stigma and insults that came with “acting too smart”)–so a school with AP classes for top students but a student body largely made up kids who were average students wouldn’t have been significantly different enough socially. It also meant a school with the financial resources to provide generous, grant-based aid to a middle class white kid. Third, he needed a winter sport other than basketball, hockey or squash. Frankly, those three criteria alone eliminated a host of schools when we were looking. And nearly all of the schools that met those criteria were stereotypically Big Schools. Even now, with all the knowledge of boarding schools afforded to me by these boards, I can’t think of one school that I’d definitely want on the list–and my kid’s experience seeing other schools and meeting their students has only changed his mind about some of the schools on his original list. </p>
<p>Of course, the criteria will vary from family to family–just wanting to point out that “Go Big or Go Home” isn’t necessarily foolish logic.</p>
<p>I agree, Classical - you weren’t choosing a school based on “prestige” or the likelihood that your child would be more likely to get into Yale - you were actually choosing a school that had the best fit for your child’s particular needs.</p>
<p>Ok, I was being being somewhat snarky towards the thread. For classicalmama and jahphotogal, I fully agree with how you say it and it does come down to fit, which I was trying to convey in my short silly way.</p>
<p>If there is a compelling reason for a student to attend prep school, he should not only “Go Big” because he may stay home if his reach exceeds his grasp. If the student is happy with his local school, he may want to “Go Big” because that’s the only better alternative than staying home. Finally, if prep school will not benefit the student, he should forget about going “Big” and just stay home.</p>
<p>For example, a student from a public school with inadequate facilities, a poor curriculum, and overtaxed teachers should perhaps apply to a broad range of likely, possible, and reach prep schools. By contrast, a student attending a local school comparable to a mid-level boarding school might only apply to PA, PEA, and SPS. Finally, a student with no compelling need to attend prep school, might follow the old adage that if it’s not broken, don’t fix it. </p>
<p>In short, there is no hard and fast rule. Everything depends on the unique circumstances of the student. Some should cast a broad net. Others should “Go Big or Go Home.” Still others should save themselves the time, trouble, and expense of the prep school application process by just enjoying the comforts of home.</p>
<p>I agree with classicalmama and jmilton, that the criteria varies from family to family and who are we to judge…</p>
<p>That said, I hold fast to my belief that people are deluded about the difficulty of getting into the “Big” schools as well as the ability of many other schools to provide the things they want out of their HS education (save the name recognition).</p>
<p>I know I probably protest too much on this particular topic, but I know that families looking for “a school with other students who were as bright and motivated as my kid” have many options beyond the 5 or 9 most “prestigious”. And quite a few have large endowments and strong FA programs.</p>
<p>And to play devil’s advocate for a moment, since the OP was “what is BIG to you?”—in our case, ALL the schools GG applied to were big compared to a)homeschooling (pop. 1) and b) local “best” option (high school pop. c. 100). The offerings at the LEAST of the schools we looked at (and we didn’t look at any “dogs”) were so far above what was available at home, and the diversity of students so much greater than what our schools’ makeup was/is, that there was, in a sense, no way to lose.</p>
<p>That said, with homeschooling a (less than perfect but) still viable option, GG also did not apply to what some on the boards might refer to as “safety” schools. She did apply to schools with acceptance ranges from the teens to the low thirties. But those stats were not really on our radar to the degree that they were afterward. Our personal criteria, including, as classicalmama noted, a critical mass of genuinely motivated kids, were fairly specific to GGs personal and academic goals (as I’ve droned on about in other threads). Having experienced years of bad fit, we were not prepared to compromise. Still, our version of “go big” might not be what others have in mind. And yes, like SevenDad, we tend to focus on fit over prestige, both on these boards and IRL. And lest you protest “sour grapes,” FYI both our dc’s were accepted to prestigious schools. Just not EVERY school ;-)</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Ditto. ten char</p>
<p>Then there’s always the flip side of fit - what the school thinks - ie do they think your child will be a good fit with their culture?</p>
<p>I am making myself crazy reading these boards but I can’t stay away - I don’t know if I want her to get into her heart’s desire or not! If she gets in but doesn’t get enough FA I’ll feel terrible if we have to say no (plus I know I’ll be arguing with JAHPhotoSpouse because he talks about taking out loans to pay and I definitely think that’s a terrible idea - BS is a want, not a need, unlike college. ) Of course if she doesn’t get in, I’ll feel awful for her too, and wonder if I didn’t do enough to help her - I didn’t sign her up to take the SSATs again because I thought her scores were high enough, but looking at them now I realize that one was very high, one was in the middle (but below the average of most scools) and one was quite low for the schools she’s looking at. The total is right at the average it needs to be, but I worry…</p>
<p>If she does go, I worry about all the negatives - stress, being away from parental supervision, etc. And if she doesn’t, I worry about how much of a letdown it will be for all of us - now that we’ve seen these amazing places (and they are all amazing) our local HS, which seemed perfectly nice and fine before, looks a little lacking. She had the official visit last week, and came back complaining that everyone is required to take woodshop and agriculture (I’d actually enjoy both of those quite a bit!) The course catalog definitely doesn’t stand up next to the glorious websites and books from the places we’ve seen! Thinking about how hard it will be for all of us to readjust our expectations, I’m almost sorry we even started down this road! We are probably just not a boarding school kind of family!</p>
<p>Of course if she gets in and gets a good FA package I’ll be singing a different tune…</p>
<p>I don’t disagree with Exie or 7dad’s basic point–I just think there’s a difference between the “Go Big or Go Home” philosophy–which implies that there’s a decent alternative at home, thus raising the bar for where to apply to bs–and the “Go Big because why wouldn’t they accept an amazing student like me” philosophy prevalent on the Chance Me board, which leaves many kids stranded. Of course, there are also plenty of good FA students who cast a wide net and still were left stranded, so all the good-hearted warnings in the world about applying to fit as well as reach school won’t prevent heartbreak on March 10.</p>
<p>In fact, 7dad, I’d argue that your family adopted a “Go Big or Go Home” strategy. (Just because SAS is more Alternative than Top Ten doesn’t mean it’s not a Go Big school.)</p>
<p>jah - Didn’t you say you had gone to boarding school yourself? If so, why so much parental concern? You essentially know what it’s like…and you got through it. Or am I thinking of someone else?</p>
<p>(Just because SAS is more Alternative than Top Ten doesn’t mean it’s not a Go Big school.)</p>
<p>I totally agree, but try convincing some of the prospects who are focused on Exoverhotchfieldmary Hall of that!</p>
<p>We definitely had a strong “stay home” option when my daughter went through the process two years ago…going on college matric, the day school my younger daughter still attends sent 15% of last year’s senior class to Princeton. So we could afford to cast a fairly small (but well researched) net.</p>
<p>But then again, my older daughter wasn’t stressing about having below average SSAT scores for the schools to which she applied. It’s fair to say that she was a better qualified candidate than most…with no real weaknesses in her app besides her parents’ relatively low HHI. ;-P</p>
<p>I guess I feel that, were it not for ops and his advocacy of SAS on the forum and via PMs, the school would not have been as bright a spot on our radar as it was. And the choice of SAS over one of the “bigs” has been a true blessing for our daughter so far. Consequently, most of my time here is spent trying to get prospective students/parents to open their minds to schools beyond the usual suspects.</p>
<p>Leanid, I went to a private day school, not a boarding school, so you’re probably thinking of someone else. Why the worry? Because I’m a worrier! (But also even if I had gone to one, that doesn’t necessarily make it right for my kid, who spent last night wailing, “everyone thinks I’m the smart one, who corrects the teacher, but I’m failing everything!” Which she isn’t, she’s just really behind from being sick for 2 weeks and missing 5 additional days because of BS visits. She is a really strong student, but she falters when the pressure is on. She thinks it will be better at BS with a strong support system, but I don’t know if she’s right.)</p>
<p>I don’t know why i’m saying all this - CC doesn’t seem to be the kind of board where people speak honestly about their fears and their kids’ real strengths and weaknesses!</p>
<p>Jah–Post your worries on a separate thread (you’re taking this one in a different direction), and I think you’ll find that CC is a great place to post your fears. </p>
<p>I think that boarding school is a great fix for “everyone thinks I’m the smart one” but I’m not so sure about the strong support system piece. Probably depends on the bs–but our experience is that the pressure magnifies at prep school, and while support systems are there, the kid needs to have the skills and willingness to seek them out. And frankly, I don’t think any support will beat parental love for a teenager. What’s her vision of a strong support system?</p>
<p>Thanks SevenDad!
I met a whole bunch of “go big or go home” parents this past weekend and I didn’t sway a one. It was acronyms or bust. I’ve gotten to the point to where either you understand now or learn the hard way in March. I did not want to rain on their parade but personally I did not think their kids were even in the ballpark, but hey, you never know. As for SAS, the past 3.5 years have been absolutely amazing for our son. There must be something in the water down there as the Head Master (he’ll say it’s the Seniors) and faculty have created and sustained some form of utopia. Ok I’m getting carried away. I was at an acronym school the other weekend where all sorts of DC meetings were going on. The scuttlebutt was bursting with DC actions which affect everyone, faculty, students. alumni and friends of the school alike. SAS’s biggest issue has been chew this year. </p>
<p>Following is a post I made on a different thread which I think can be relevant here:
This is precisely why I believe in those Hidden Gems. Not all these bright kids can get into the same more prominently known schools and it’s not because they can’t cut it academically, there just aren’t enough beds. Which I believe over the years has raised the academic bars of some schools which in turn have impressive college matriculations and overall fabulous facilities. This effect has rattled through out the whole boarding school spectrum. Schools back in my Dad’s day, or even mine, that would not even be on the radar screen back then are today a big blimp. This has made the concept of fit all the more important. Look at the matriculation list of those schools that are not mentioned daily on this forum. There are some great colleges which too have been greatly transformed by this domino effect. Think about getting in Boston College, Wake Forrest, UVA or even Georgetown today as compared to 40 years ago. The very same can now be said of the Hidden Gem boarding schools.</p>
<p>I have been following this thread with interest but not feeling I had anything to add thus far. Mostly because there is not one acronym school on our final list of schools daughter applied to. We had some limitations to how many schools she could apply to and thats just how the pieces landed.</p>
<p>For us, BS at all is “going big”. It is such a divergence from both our culture and our socio economic group. Not to say she wouldnt be a typical applicant at any boarding school, she has straight As in all honors and AP classes, an SSAT within the average range of acronym schools, is on a Junior Varsity team as a freshman as well as a few other things that make her stand out. So, its not a choice coming from being a lacking applicant. </p>
<p>I guess my point being, going back and forth on the why one family chooses what they do is futile. If things dont turn out how they had hoped come March, that will be something they will either accept or regret but there is no way to predict that from this vantage point. As long as everyone feels secure in their choices now, thats all we can do.</p>
<p>Hey, I or my child may regret leaving those “top"schools” as unknowns down the road but we have made peace with it in the now.</p>
<p>edited to add: Even within one family a choice can differ greatly for a different child. My elementary school aged sibling of BS applicant is only applying to one very “Go Big” private day school in the area. Why? Its the only one that would adequately suit this childs needs. If child does not get in, there are other options that would suit better than a private school that is not specialized in this area.</p>
<p>I see no problem with delusion or dreaming “Big.” Many a Nobel Laureate, US President and Olympian had dreams and hope referred to as delusions by others.</p>
<p>There are many a student for whom the choice is Andover or Exeter or simply pass and stay at home.</p>
<p>Absolutely nothing wrong with such “fearless” strategy. It’s obviously not compatible for all students or parents. </p>
<p>But, it’s a viable strategy for many circumstances.</p>
<p>What is really laughable is the ignorant presumptuousness of applicants (and parents) who think that only A and E, or HADES or GLADCHEMMS can offer an education and “experience” that is worthy of their time. A little self-important, aren’t we?</p>