I really think that most children need to be taught how to show proper respect and thanks for receiving gifts and it needs to be reinforced and kids need reminding by parents throughout their childhood for good patterns to be developed. If that isn’t taking place in the home, it rarely gets done. Like many forms of graciousness, we need to model it ourselves and make it an expected habit in the home. If this is going by the wayside these days, that is unfortunate. These social graces are rewarded in the workplace as well so I think they are helpful to learn for many reasons.
We really don’t get much for presents anymore. It will take me about a day to shop. We get stocking stuffers for everyone, including a book and some candy.
I’ll think about this,oh maybe December 15 or so.
Just booked a family trip to Ireland, that’s all they are getting for Christmas. Only people left are my mom and MIL. I bought some fake pillar candles at Costco this week; we may give 2 of them to MIL for her assisted living apt which doesn’t allow candles, and my mom just moved into a nursing home so she will be easy to grab something for.
@Intparent, I always ask my D for suggestions for her SO. One year I got him a wool sweater to wear to work, another year she suggested cold weather running gear (tights, hat, gloves) as they were training for a long spring race. I also subscribe to the DC travel zoo emails; lots of restaurant deals, etc on those.
I taught all my kids to write thank you notes. My D was married in June and has not finished hers yet, I ask occasionally but she’s 26 and it’s on her.
Bookworm–crazy knee socks are always fun for grand kids.
I love Kiva too. It’s similar to donations but the giftee gets to choose where the money goes or can ultimately decide to keep the money. More like a “kickstarter” fund.
I don’t like making donations in other people’s names.
Thanks for the thought of the flameless candles! Perfect for my aunt!
We have a very small family, and beyond the 4 of us they don’t particularly like giving or receiving gifts, so Christmas is usually fairly easy from a shopping point of view-they asked us to make amazon gift lists, and they buy from those, and ask us to do so as well, so we do.
I usually get something that isn’t on the list for them, like this year there is this crazy cat massager that is going viral that I know my MIL will get a huge kick out of. One year I got FIL a fur hat with ear flaps that he ended up wearing on his Alaska cruise this year, despite MIL really not liking how goofy it looked (he loved it).
I did stop making gifts, though. One year the girls and I made this (I thought) amazing quilt for SIL. We found it in a closet in MIL’s house a few years later when she was sending stuff to goodwill. Since it had her name on it, we couldn’t take it back, and MIL didn’t want it, so it went to goodwill. I was crushed.
I’ve made all the stockings for my kids and nieces and nephews (cross stitched, embroidery) and they do belong to them. My niece, who is now 30, thanked me last year by posting a message on FB that she loves her stocking and always thinks of me, so this year her husband is getting one too (even though they’ve been married for 2 years and they are never home for Christmas). I’ve made them for a few of my siblings too, and we just hang the new ones with the old ones from our childhood (you know, the red felt with your name in glitter). Never can have too many stockings. I think if you gave one to DIL with your son’s, it would be a fantastic way to include her in a family tradition. If she has her own childhood stocking? Great, more for Santa to fill.
I agree that children need to be taught to be grateful for any gifts they receive. We practiced this before birthdays and Christmas. What do you say if you already have this gift? Thank you. What do you say if it is too big, wrong color, you wanted something else? Thank you. I had one daughter who really had trouble with not showing her disappointment, and so we practiced. I assured her I could fit it, exchange it, get her something else, not to worry about it when given and to just say thank you.
She really wanted things to be exactly the same as her sister, and if I could warn people giving gifts that helped a lot. I always said, “you don’t have to give them anything, but if you do, could you make it the SAME color/size/shape/number?”, but if I couldn’t, she had to hold it together to say thank you. She was about 8 when she asked if Santa could bring clothes. I told her yes, but that her sister would not want clothes. She thought about it for 2 days and decided she really wanted clothes and wouldn’t cry if her gifts weren’t the same as her sister.
I think my nephews (11) are very rude. They often get gifts or Gramps will slip them a $5, and there are crickets. I tell them ‘Say thank you.’ I don’t think enough adults demand manners from kids
The stocking stuffer I ordered has arrived. So now I actually have one gift.
And, I don’t, because they sent the wrong thing. So I’m back on the “I’ve got nothing” bench.
@bookworm, I’d buy books for all the kids… sounds like they already have plenty toys. And with your nic, I bet you’d have a lot of fun figuring out which titles to get them 
I used to buy for siblings, neices and nephews as well as parents. Then neices and nephews started having children. It kept expanding!!
Well, my parents are gone. Siblings stopped exchanging because it became so difficult and ridiculous because none of us needed anything. Finally we decided, or actually SIL decided, that nieces and nephew presents should stop after they graduate from college. Several had already graduated and had kids when this decision was made . My kids had not yet graduated. So for awhile they were the only ones getting gifts from extended family. Except for my mother. She always gave to all children and grandchildren.
Now it is only my own kids and their–whatever they should be called. Girl/boyfriend, partner, significant other. ( Different living arrangements and lengths of time together for each of them) We all exchange with each other.
I have not bought a thing and have no idea what to buy any of them. They are not great about supplying ideas because they usually don’t need or even want anything. I am also not great with supplying ideas either.
So it became easier and more difficult at the same time!
Crazy sock idea mentioned above is great for when you’re buying for big groups of kids (or even adults). Last I knew they were “all the rage” for guys. They aren’t too expensive, and they are very useful.
My 20 year old said he wanted a keyboard. I’m all for him getting back into music so that sounded good. But his bike was recently stolen. :(. So he might prefer a bike now.
My daughter never wants anything. She’s always been a low maintenance child. So that’s usually hard.
Kids always get a few stocking stuffers which are easy. Except when Groupon sends the wrong thing, of course.
Hubby and I frequently buy a large item or experience to share. And then maybe a few small items.
My mother has said for the past few years that she doesn’t want stuff. So I get her something consumable. Wine usually.
When little, mine woild jump up and down for just about anything. A friend once gave D2 a shell from a local beach. Super. I cd tell my mother to send $5 worth of hair things from CVS.
My son once got a birthday gift and literally said “I love it! What is it?” I think he was 3.
One year DD asked Santa for only one thing…a pink flashlight. And that is what she got. Ok…we got her a few other things.
We don’t exchange gifts with extended family at all anymore, including the inlaws. To be honest, I wish they would stop sending us gifts too!
I buy books throughout the year when I find just the right one and put them away, probably have one for every member of the extended family now. I LOVE shopping for stocking stuffers and do so throughout the year, especially when traveling. Tacky souvenirs, bookmarks, hot sauces, chocolates, silly socks, skivvies, magnets for the fridge in the garage - you name it. We are all about the stockings on Christmas morning in our family, it’s a beloved tradition.
When I buy things early, I have an irresistible impulse to gift them early, OR I forget or misplace them and buy more. Buying too early doesn’t work well for me. It’s harder as the folks to be gifted are trying to declutter and don’t want “stuff.”
I have almost finished with D2. Just one more small gift left. I am starting to get her a Swarovski crystal star every year. Plus other stuff. I also have her daughter done. (Girls are definitely easier than boys to shop for.) I think D1 will get an Instant Pot. It isn’t thrilling, but she wants one. I have 1 gift for D3. I ordered some notepads with her name on them. (I have no list from her. However, she is in the process of moving to London, so it is hard to say what she will want. I have nothing for any of the 4 grandsons nor the youngest GD - except for Princess band aids. (She loves band aids.) There are no ideas forthcoming from either of the sons in law.
DH is a much different story. He is into woodworking, and those toys are expensive. His latest wish is a tool sharpening tool. $250.00. I will get it for him. Plus a few other things.
We don’t shop for anyone else except my husband’s 92 year old mother. We will get her a floral arrangement and some wine. Too much left to do. Yuck. I do have the wrapping paper!!!
I have found, over the years, that there are very few people who don’t like really nice socks. Wool socks.
I also give a lot of maple syrup. The real stuff, bought in pint jars, from friends in Maine who start with maple trees planted a hundred years ago.
As for giving presents early… a few weeks ago I found the perfect present for a good friend and gave it to her early. I didn’t know, though, that it was her birthday. Sometimes early is the right day!