For those who miss the uncommon application...

College Essays
1

<p>In the need to embarrass myself, I’m gonna post last year’s prompt and my reply to it, which I conjured up at 5:00am of the morning when the essay was due. (as you will find out I didn’t get accepted lol) Anyway enjoy and please tell me the reasons why I’m not going to secure admission to any of our country’s top institutions lol.</p>

<p>Chicago professor W. J. T. Mitchell entitled his 2005 book What Do Pictures Want? Describe a picture and explore what it wants.</p>

<p>[A curious sight strikes my weary eyes as I open the page for the uncommon application. There’s a man. Dapperly dressed, he’s smiling at me rather benevolently through the computer screen. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it is Mr. Ted O’Neill, the Dean of Admissions himself. I acknowledge his warm welcome rather suspiciously and log on to start my essays. I have this lingering feeling in the back of my head, almost like an itch. I scratch and I scratch but like an exasperating math problem it fails to resolve itself.</p>

<p>Then Professor Mitchell hits me right on the back, the itch and all. What does Mr. O’Neill want? Or rather what does his picture want? People don’t go walking around with a smile as cheery as Mr. O’Neill’s, that’s a politician’s job. I click back to the welcome page and the picture is still there. There’s a building in the background, one most likely from the Chicago campus. What does it want? Having recently read Dr. Faustus for literature class, Mephistopheles comes to mind. Picture yourself in Faustus’ shoes our teacher had told us. But Mr. O’Neill can’t be Mephistopheles. It just doesn’t seem to fit. I embark upon the quest to find another literary character to compare venerable Mr. O’Neill to. But a combination of caffeine and bad memory prevent me from making any headway. I decide to settle for my own thoughts over lurid comparisons that don’t make sense.</p>

<p>Occam’s razor would lead me to conclude that Mr. O’Neill’s picture is there to welcome me, to the University of Chicago that is in the background. But then what about subliminal messaging? Maybe Mr. O’Neill stands for the University of Chicago. The University crest above his picture surely is an indication of that. In that case the question totally changes. What does the University of Chicago want, is the new question. Crescat scientia; vita excolatur or Let knowledge grow from more to more; and so be human life enriched." The University’s Motto calls for the growth of knowledge to better humankind. That’s what it wants. Therefore, Mr. O’Neill’s picture through the University of Chicago wants education to illuminate the darkness that surrounds us. Or maybe it just wants to reassure and receive new applicants to apply without any fear. Or maybe it wants both. What would Professor Mitchell say?]</p>

<p>sidenote: essay was due at 6 am :)</p>

2

<p>I’m so boring?</p>

3

<p>1) Obvious mistakes
2) Rambles/no organization
3) Says nothing about you</p>

4

<p>take a lighter vein?</p>

5

<p>Why should we take a lighter vein when you’re asking us to explain why the essay is bad?</p>

<ul>
<li>Definitely rambles. No focus. In other words, a waste of time. Get to the point.</li>
<li>No personal reflection</li>
<li>Poor analysis overall of what a picture wants. I still don’t get a sense of what you think the picture wants.</li>
</ul>

6

<p>holy s, I meant take my opening question in a lighter vein. I had no intention or hope to get into UChic lol but applied cuz I just felt like it. Anyway people whom I’ve sent this to end up laughing and say that even tho I didn’t get in, the adcoms must have got a good laugh out of it. If I knew the nature of people on this thread, I wouldn’t have posted :(. Toodles :)</p>

7

<p>Well, tamarind, you wanted to know why this essay was bad and we explained. I don’t know exactly why you seem upset. Did you expect us to say that the essay was good? </p>

<p>I’m done with this thread.</p>

8

<p>I guess you overestimated my sense of humor. But then again, I’m not one of UChicago’s adcoms.</p>

9

<p>haha ok good night guys. I just expected people to get a laugh out of it but oh well</p>