<p>geeps, I think it is usually the over-21 kids who are supplying alcohol to others, and that the fake-ID users are just trying to get into clubs. But I would share your concern about liability. I talk about that a lot with my kids.</p>
<p>ETA: I would defer to whenhen on this. He/she makes a good point about summer being different from the school year.</p>
<p>Many freshmen don’t have close enough contact with 21 year old juniors and seniors so they rely on people with fakes to purchase alcohol. This is especially true during the summer when the students loose their traditional 21+ supplier.</p>
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<p>Nope, Lawrence v Texas fixed that. At least as long as you’re doing it in a bedroom and everyone’s a consenting adult.</p>
<p>My younger sister accidentally gave the cop who pulled her over her fake ID - which was an actual driver’s license with my information and her picture. (She took my birth certificate down to the DMV and told them that she’d lost her license and could she get a replacement. This was back in the days before the old photo and your fingerprint were stored in the DMV database.) She got off with a warning, so didn’t fess up to it until several years later.</p>
<p>You cannot force your children to follow your rules when they are out of your sight, you can only convince them them that it’s the rational thing to do. Destroying the ID will only provoke an emotional reaction: “I’ll show 'em – I’ll get a new one tomorrow!”</p>
<p>Is it not better to systematically discuss the possible consequences of their actions and then give them the card back, saying, “Consider the risk/reward here and use it sparingly or not at all. I trust your judgment, now that we’ve had a chance to discuss the big picture”?</p>
<p>I’d shred it. And warn him of the consequences of getting caught using a fake ID/tell him not to do it again–and after this warning, that he won’t receive parents’ help (legal/financial) or sympathy if he gets into trouble.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t say everyone drinks. Far from it. There are many kids who have no interest in alcohol. Maybe you’d think they are nerds or antisocial, uncool, etc. But there are an awful lot of law-abiding kids/college students in my world.<br>
I’m really glad that the drinking age is now 21. A lot more stupid/dangerous stuff when on when it was 18.</p>
<p>Did anyone on this thread state or imply that kids that don’t drink are uncool, nerds or anti-social? I don’t think so. I agree that the OP should have a serious conversation w/ her child & discard the ID. IMHO, stupid/dangerous stuff still goes on A LOT even though the drinking age has been changed. I’m just curious about opinions here, do you think it’s ok for a 20 yr old to have a drink?</p>
<p>I would take it away. Don’t make it easy for him to have a fake ID. Its wrong to have it and he knows it.</p>
<p>I would take it away too, and have him sit down with you and read the laws/repercussions about being caught with a fake ID in your state. And as atomom said, let him know that he’s on his own if he gets another one and gets caught with it. </p>
<p>My kids would be commuting to school on their own nickel.</p>
<p>"I’m just curious about opinions here, do you think it’s ok for a 20 yr old to have a drink? "</p>
<p>Yes.</p>
<p>The process of getting another fake is just as, if not more, risky than using it. If you shred his he will likely get another one since he has the money for it from working. Just explain to him that you dont want him supplying it all. You assumed he was which could be false since alot of bars and concerts nowadays require 21+ i d</p>
<p>Every family (parents) has their own approach to underage drinking. I like to keep our dialogue open with our kids. We talk often about risk of DUI or binge drinking. We tend to encourage safe/moderate drinking rather than outright banning of it. People (young or old) tend to shut down when the action or message is too directive. I find my kids would be more willing to listen if I don’t come right out to say no or have no respect for their opinion. To me, shredding or burning my kid’s possession without their permission would just alienate them. I would rather take the opportunity to find out what he/she is doing with the fake ID - is he using it to get into a bar or is he supplying. I had a conversation with D1 when she came home for the summer after her freshman year. I told her that her collegetown’s tolerance toward underaged drinking wouldn’t be the same in our town.</p>
<p>“Underage” drinking laws for adults (18+) are outrageous, overprotective and ineffective.</p>
<p>However, everyone has to decide what legal risks they are willing to take while those laws are applicable. (Those laws have been challenged and upheld.)</p>
<p>There’s really no reason why the drinking age shouldn’t be 12. That is the average age that teen drinkers start drinking (half of them start younger than that). And by the time they get to college, they’ll have more experience.</p>
<p>It would also be good if the kids could get a cocktail with their school lunches.</p>
<p>Just so witty. It is kind of lost on me.</p>
<p>Drinking age laws should conform to kids’ actual experience. By the time they are 18, bingeing will be out of their system, they’ll know how to handle themselves behind the wheel, they won’t be a risk everything they give their little brother a bottle of Captain Morgan, parents will be able to have their kids drink at dinner parties, they’ll be no need to worry about kids drinking from others’ glasses at bar mitzvahs (and picking up germs), and everyone will be happy.</p>
<p>I don’t have a problem with 20 year olds drinking. I have a problem with DUI and getting drunk to the point of being unable to manage oneself. I think most kids use fake IDs to get into clubs and bars with their friends and not to purchase alcohol at a package store. I’m not thrilled with the fake ID thing, but it’s not near the top of my list of horrors.
What oldfort said…</p>
<p>I’d personally find out what he’s actually doing with it. You assume that he’s buying with it, but most college kids know that that is far too risky and primarily use it to get into 21+ concerts or bars. </p>
<p>In addition, is it a fake ID of himself or one of someone else? YMMV, but in my home state, cops (or bars where it was used at) would generally just confiscate the fake ID that was yourself, but someone else’s ID raised some identity theft issues.</p>
<p>^^^Yep, I looked into this. If a student is going to have fake ID, it needs to be in their own name otherwise it is identify theft and that is a more serious crime.</p>
<p>I don’t know the answer, clearly the kids are going to drink and figure out a way to get alcohol.</p>
<p>It’s true. 12-year-olds do it all the time.</p>
<p>I believe any name can be printed on a fake ID…can’t be identity theft if a name is made up…can it?</p>