<p>Before people go off about my reading my D’s journal, I will say that it was/is a regular notebook left out on a table titled “Adv Bio.” Since D took the class last semester, I was merely flipping through it before putting it on a shelf with other notebooks and the words jumped off the page. Part of me wonders if she left it out to be found, but another part of me just realizes that D has a tendency to leave stuff laying around as part of who she is.</p>
<p>Thing is, what I read has me deeply concerned. It’s not that I was unaware of some things my D was going through because she’s been seeing a therapist since November. It took quite the crisis to get her to go at all, but I do feel she is trying to work with her and this was confirmed in the journal. However, she also admits to not always being honest with her therapist, and details a lot of lies she’s been telling us. Telling us she’s hanging with some friends when really she’s somewhere else entirely, smoking pot, selling her adderall, buying booze for people, drinking. Truly, I don’t know this person. But it’s also clear she knows what she is doing is wrong and feels horrible about herself for doing it. She also mentions some symptoms that she absolutely should be talking to her therapist about but is not.</p>
<p>My initial reaction was to call her therapist and ask for advice how to deal with knowing what I now know, especially all the lies. On the face of things, there would be no reason to take away her car, her prescriptions, search her stuff, etc, but in reading the journal I never want her leaving the house!</p>
<p>So the therapist calls me back to say that not only can she not give me advice, but because of patient confidentiality, she has to tell D what I’ve told her I know and how I know it! Their next appt is tomorrow. I understand why she cannot tell me about D’s confidences to her, but why does she have to reveal what I told her to D? She said she was going to look into that further to make sure that was the case, especially since D is over 18, but we’ve exchanged emails before (just to confirm that D was going) and in response to when we might, as her parents, be invited to even meet this person we’re paying a lot of money to for the benefit of our “kid.” I recognize that technically I invaded my D’s privacy and she is going to be HUGELY upset about that. I do not want this to derail any progress made, but I also want her to understand that by hiding parts of herself from even her therapist isnt helpful to finding solutions.</p>
<p>I had written this entire post already and something tripped up and erased the entire thing forcing me to start over. I’m sure Im missing something, but mostly I just want to understand if the therapist HAS to tell D at their next appointment. I will also admit that however she feels about it, it’s probably best if the therapist is there to help her process it.</p>
<p>Oh and can I also interject that my H was supportive of seeking advice on what to do next with the therapist is now mad at me because it’s forcing our hand to react when we honestly have no idea what to do exactly. I already called the dr who fills her prescription to mail refills to the house vs her picking them up. </p>
<p>Obviously, her therapists patient confidentiality thing is completely secondary to the issue put forth in the journal. But I’m kind of hoping someone on CC will know the law here so at least I can have some time to formulate a plan of some kind.</p>