<p>S is thinking of joining one. I am skeptical to say the least for all the reasons you can imagine (unsupervised partying, underage drinking, hazing, focus away from school, huge time commitment, etc), though son says many of these are just bad press and not entirely true. Any parents out there have positive experiences to share about their child’s frat?</p>
<p>Yes, and we have done so repeatedly in the fairly recent threads on this topic. 
I’d suggest that you use the forum search tools to look up those threads. You will find spirited discussion of the pros and cons of greek organizations.</p>
<p>I think it fair to say that the overwhelming message from those who participated themselves and those whose kids have done so is that the scene is VERY different on different campuses in different regions, not to mention varying from house to house on a given campus. It really just depends.</p>
<p>My S was completely allergic to the entire notion of frats before he went to college. He refused to apply to Princeton because of the eating clubs, and refused to consider Cornell because he he simply glimpsed a couple of frat houses there when we were driving around the campus! He is now a member of a fraternity and actually lives in the house. It has been, as far as I can tell, a growth experience for him, personally. On the other hand, I strongly doubt that he would have pledged at many other schools: the frat scene at his school is unusually open, and many kids who would never go greek elsewhere do so there.</p>
<p>thanks, consolation. i will search threads again. what you recount of your S’s experience makes me feel better. much like your S, mine is one who was allergic to the idea and would never in a million years have seen himself in a frat and is now very seriously considering.</p>
<p>My son didn’t think he would join a fraternity and to my surprise, he did and loves it. He was initially not interested in schools with a big frat scene but ended up at one anyway. He’s a second semester freshman and already has taken on a leadership role. He already knows tons of people on campus because of his fraternity experience and genuinely seems to be thriving at school. I’ve never seen him as involved in school as he is now (in non-fraternity activities as well). I’ve seen it as a great growth experience for him, just like consolation stated. </p>
<p>It is initially a big time commitment (during pledging) but after that, not so much. As for the drinking, it goes on at all colleges among Greek and non-Greeks alike. At this point, you have to trust your child has the ability to exercise good judgment. The frats are usually very careful not to let anyone drink and drive, if that makes you feel any better. Hazing…it varies from fraternity to fraternity but hopefully your son has a good idea about the ‘personality’ of the fraternity he wants to join and has ascertained that hazing is not a problem.</p>
<p>Our one caveat with son is he has to maintain a 3.0 or we will not pay the fraternity dues. He came through with a 3.8 first semester while pledging.</p>
<p>Definitely search for fraternity threads on the parents forum…it is an ongoing debate. Interestingly, those with kids who have gone greek almost unanimously report their kids have had a great experience. The nay-sayers are generally people who have never experienced it firsthand nor have had kids who were in fraternities. I was never in a sorority and always thought they were silly. Husband was in a fraternity and still gets together with his fraternity brothers 25 years later. I have been pleasantly surprised at how wonderful the experience has been for our son.</p>