Free time - just curious

Parent Cafe
1

<p>I am not a parent, and I am not sure if I would ever want to have kids of my own. Having said that, I am very curious about some things that CC parents seem to value, so I figured I would ask.</p>

<p>Just so you know where I am coming from, I am out of college and working full time, living on my own, and completely self-supporting. I like being able to rely on and provide for myself. However, looking back, I really wish that I had more free/unstructured time during summers in high school. </p>

<p>It seems that there is a great emphasis on this forum on high school kids having a summer job or a volunteer position, and I am wondering why. Now, I completely agree that parents don’t have to pay for the kid to go out and have fun, but if you have a kid who doesn’t really care about buying clothes/video games/‘stuff’ and would rather have free time to read/paint/watch movies/relax/play in a band/take public transportation to a new place, or just spend time playing board games with friends, why do most parents seem to object to that?</p>

<p>The older I get the more I see the value in having unstructured time, especially when you are younger (but when you are older too). I also feel that even a few decades ago kids/young adults had a lot more unstructured time. I think it makes you appreciate the world around you more and lets you slow down and realize that you don’t always have to be working on a task to be happy.</p>

<p>If it has to do with learning the value of a dollar, I don’t think it works. I had a job through high school, and it really didn’t change my perception of money (as in, I spent the same way when I worked as when I had an allowance). I learned to budget when I started living alone and being independent.</p>

<p>So, I guess my question is, if you had/have a generally good kid, who does well in school and doesn’t use his/her free time to get in trouble, would you (and if you would, why) object to them having free summers in high school, as long as they weren’t spending your money and were doing chores and any summer homework they had?</p>

2

<p>You’ll get lots of input from different ‘camps’ on this, but I’ll give you my input.</p>

<p>I think there is usually time for a healthy mix of work and play for all ages. When you are a teenager I don’t necessarily think 24/7 for 3 months unstructured is healthy. My kids get cranky and bored. They nag at each other and me. My kids have generally had a mix of enrichment, vacation, volunteer work, and PLENTY of free time to hang out with their friends and stare at the clouds floating by. I have left it up to them to come up with ideas of what they want to do for the summer. If they were stumped, I’d help with ideas. When they were older one did work part time (again plenty of time for fun). Another son had a full time internship two summers in hs. This did cut into ‘fun’ time and he took that into consideration, however it was an exceptionally good opportunity.</p>

<p>A little structure, be it volunteering, enrichment, sports, or pt work, doesn’t mean kids don’t have plenty of time for relaxing.</p>

3

<p>Here was my M-F summer schedule after Jr and Sr year of high school…</p>

<p>9am-12n Golf or somehing else just for fun
1 pm-4 pm Baseball Practice or water skiing for fun
6pm -10 pm baseball game or work
11pm party with friends</p>

<p>Every day had multiple hours of unstructured opportunities for doing nothing or doing something for fun in addition to working 20 or so hours per week.</p>

<p>My kid does the same thing…works 20-30 hours per week, does some volunteering, but still has more than enough time to goof around.</p>

<p>There are about 65 hours M-F (9am-10pm) available for work and doing nothing/something/exploring/whatever. If they work 30 hoursper week that still leaves 35 for whatever. Seems like plenty of free time to me.</p>

4

<p>In high school I agree 100% and we did not expected our D to work but instead to enjoy her youth. She was busy on her own, never in trouble. When it was time for college we wanted her to get a reasonable job to both help with some school costs but where she would have free time as well. In our case part of the reason is that she was leaving the country and COA was 5 times what it is here. We told her she needed to earn her spending money and textbooks but that we would pay tuition and room and board. She had worked enough to pay for all of that and she also paid for a 2 week self guided holiday in Croatia. She was able to become an RA which has helped us a bit. She is now going into her senior year and if she goes where she wants for Masters it will be another 65K a year. But you are right that students need to have free time to enjoy themselves but so do we adults.</p>

5

<p>What, exactly, is my dear child doing all summer when he isn’t sleeping (12 hours) or doing a few chores around our (nonfarm) house (2 hours a day, max)?</p>

<p>Since He’s not out spending my money (according to the OP’s scenario),and also not working, volunteering, taking a class, playing a sport, or doing much of anything, I’d give him about a week before he’d be bored to tears and annoying the bejesus out of the rest of us. </p>

<p>It doesn’t need to be a job, but there needs to be SOMETHING to give a teen a reason to get out of bed for 10 weeks of summer vacation.</p>

6

<p>Eastcoastcrazy, I don’t know if we are just lucky or if our D is just weird because she has never slept past 930 and is always in bed by 11. Even now she is 21 and that is still her schedule. She always had things planned with friends and was out most days having fun.</p>

7

<p>Given the opportunity all three of my kids (teens and early twenties) would sleep at least 12 hours every day. They would also naturally and gradually change their sleep/wake cycle by staying up later and later and sleeping later and later, if they had no reason at all to keep a more typical schedual. Eventually, they would be awake until 2 or 3 AM and sleep until mid afternoon. I don’t think they are unusual in that respect.</p>

<p>A little structure is a good thing. Not constant, rigid structure, but some structure.</p>

8

<p>I have 2 older (college and out of college) kids who are working full time, but my high school student and recent hs grad aren’t working. They have a ton of homework during school year, so I don’t really want them to have jobs that could bring down their grades. Most places don’t like to hire someone just for the summer, and they don’t really need the $, so I let them just hang out in the summer. They sleep in, go to neighborhood pool, meet up with friends, babysit, play board games with sibs, watch TV, play on-line games, eat, read, practice driving to get license, visit relatives, and do a little (very little) house and yard work (lawn hasn’t been cut in a month due to drought. . .) They are super lazy and wasting a lot of time, but in a few weeks they’ll be back on the hamster wheel. . .H and I both worked when we were in high school (our families were not well off). I think having a job is a good experience, but I’d feel a little guilty if my kids were to take a job from someone who really needs $. My kids aren’t spenders or troublemakers, and they’re helpful at times. We all get along peacefully, they don’t complain or get bored, so I don’t mind them taking summers off. I like hanging out at the pool, too.</p>

9

<p>When my oldest has free time, she finds things to jam it up with. She had to take a class in the mornings. Well, as long as she’s in school mode, why not add two more? Gee, she’ll have to have a day off from her full time job, why not pick up a few hours teaching classes at the dance studio? Acollegestudent, some people are just wired this way. You can encourage your kids to have free time, but they may not listen. Conversely, you may have kids who need an ultimatum to get their butts up off the couch.</p>

10

<p>Balancing work and play is a very important life skill. No reason to wait until after high school to figure out what works for you.<br>
I think blueiguana’s answer of “there’s a lot of time for both” is very true.</p>

11

<p>Why work? Because, strangely enough, some people LIKE to work. I have had a job every year of my live since I was 13. D is like me. She loves to work. That’s about it.</p>

12

<p>OP - i guess my question to you is, without working, how would you have gotten money to take public transportation somewhere, or have a car to go meet up with friends to play a board game? or to have money to pay for the insurance on that car, or a cell phone to call those friends? (unless plan on using the house phone).</p>

13

<p>When D1 was 7 or 8, she started to get more work in school, she would tell me, “Do not sign me up for any summer program.” The first time she said that, I actually believed her. Sure enough, 2 weeks into it she was complaining how bored she was. Of course, by then every good program was booked. After that, I always made sure my kids had something to do every summer. It could be a program sponsored by a club, dance intensive, or a summer EC program, but I made sure I signed up very early on.</p>

<p>We often traveled in the summe - 2 weeks for family vacation, 4 weeks for summer program, which left a lot of time for down time. Summer was also a good time for my kids to take extra musical lessons. One thing they didn’t do was to get tutored for anything.</p>

<p>We kept our girls petty busy while they were in high school. They didn’t have a lot of time to hang out at the mall or to party too much. At dinner time, they always had things to tell us about what did that day, and we didn’t hear about how bored they were.</p>

14

<p>My H and I both worked 2 jobs summer of junior year and summer before college. 2 of my kids worked 1 job about 20 hours a week. S3 is working two jobs so more like 30 hours a week.</p>