<p>Lol I gained 10 lbs in the last 1.5 weeks…it is indeed possible. It’s because of stress–I’m home alone on spring break obsessing over college news :)</p>
<p>Ooh, White Russians, my favorite drink from the 70’s! </p>
<p>Sorry, that wasn’t helpful.</p>
<p>My DD started out college fairly skinny, then gained about 15-20lbs in her first year of college. She was aware of the plethora of food choices and social eating aspects of college-life - but I think it’s hard to say “no” to all-you-can eat food and drink, and those late night social food events. We have good communication and like to talk with each other, so we have talked about weight and health and such. I think that the OP should definitely discuss this with her daughter, especially if they have the kind of relationship that can support such frankness. And a thyroid check is a must! With my DD, she is working on eating healthily and exercising and enjoying life. When and if she decides to lose weight, she’ll do it. If not, well that’s okay, too. :)</p>
<p>I’ve gained about 20 pounds in the last two years…5 in the last 3 months.</p>
<p>Needless to say…I am VERY self conscious about my body. </p>
<p>Last night I went shopping for some warmer clothes for a trip I’m going on. I tried on a long sleeve shirt, and feeling pretty good about it, I showed my mom. Her words were, “Oh that will be perfect in a larger size”…she sees my face…“But wear whatever you want. Maybe you like it tight?” </p>
<p>I close the dressing room door.
Refuse to continue shopping.
Lock myself in my bedroom when I get home…and cry…a lot. </p>
<p>I’ve been working hard on eating healthy lately, but it’s hard. </p>
<p>Don’t say anything, but when your daughter comes home, be sure to have lots of healthy snack ready.</p>
<p>Surfette, that SUCKS. I’m usually the one with appearance issues when we go shopping. Stores nowadays don’t help–I’m an extra large at abercrombie and I weigh less than 100 pounds. Ugh, I hate shopping.</p>
<p>Thanks so much to everyone for your continued responses. I really believe that there is validity or something to consider with every post and I also appreciate those who’ve shared their own experiences. You’ve been a great help…</p>
<p>What you might want to try is working out more yourself, even if you have no need or interest. Your daughter may then follow suit or get inspired. Or you might consider inviting her to do a walk-a-thon or some other athletic event with you, with the focus being on the end game of the event and family fun, not losing weight. Dieting alone is usually not the best strategy; it’s very necessary to exercise, and also to change the method of exercise frequently; consider getting her an iPOD, if she doesn’t already have one, or, funds for iTunes. I have been working out 2x a day lately because of heavy travel schedule, too many airplanes, too many meals in restaurants aren’t the best thing for fitness, but, working out is mind-numbingly boring. It takes a lot of motivation to even walk into the gym when a person is tired, busy, worried about deadlines/commitments and often it is even harder to keep the workout going. And even if one is not terribly busy or tired, it’s hard to get motivated to workout if there is no short-term specific or event-related goal. Music helps a LOT - most people can get lost in their music enough to get through a quality workout. </p>
<p>Also, is she on the meal plan, eating dining hall food? If it’s like most colleges the stuff is probably very fattening, full of useless calories vs. nutritional stuff. My daughter and all of her teammates and friends moved off campus as soon as they could with quality of food and the desperation for healthier eating options being the number one argument (or at least that’s how it was sold to me). If that is the case, maybe you could help offset the dining hall food with a mini-frig, and some sort of way small meals can be cooked in her dorm room. </p>
<p>If none of that works or seems like a solution, sooner or later she’ll attack the problem herself…as others have posted most people will have some motivating event come along and then they work very hard to get back into shape.</p>
<p>Uh – Mallomar:
</p>
<p>AND</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Uh – really?</p>
<p>And are you an extra large at the KIDS abercrombie? Surely not the grown-up one.</p>
<p>Unless she’s in some kind of danger, leave it alone. The last thing a young woman needs in her mother telling her she’s fat. She’s an adult and a girl, I’m sure she’s aware she’s gained the weight. It will only make her feel bad and probably make her angry at you to say anything.</p>
<p>Both sons lost 25-30 lbs their freshman years–but both had medical problems (one with IBS and one with appendectomy and ADD diagnosis/meds)–neither were heavy to begin with.</p>
<p>D. went to school maybe 10 lbs over ideal weight. She gained about 25 lbs the first year. She says it was due to cafeteria eating which is very heavy on carbs (pasta, potatoes, rolls, etc) and the availability of snacks on dorm floor constantly. She swears that no drinking (alcohol) was involved. But late night pizzas and ice cream or latte runs certainly were.</p>
<p>She said any time that I mentioned the weight, it just made her want to NOT do anything about it. And as someone who is overweight now and certainly aware of it, someone else pointing it out just serves to depress–not motivate (my mother does it to me). After first year of school, d. started working out, watching what she eats and is at an ideal weight.</p>
<p>My vote–support her in anything she wants to do (ie gym membership this summer, etc) but try to keep criticism and negative comments to yourself (I know, easier said than done).</p>
<p>As someone who has struggled with my weight at various times in my life, I’m with the “leave her alone” crowd with one exception. Without saying ANYTHING about her weight, when she is at home, take a full length picture of her with someone else–parent, sibling, friend. Then give it to her WITHOUT saying anything about her weight. </p>
<p>Sometimes, seeing a photo of oneself works a lot better than the mirror does. </p>
<p>I do have one warning. Understand that overweight girls are very, very subject to anorexia and bullimia. Sometimes overweight girls lose weight…feel better about themselves…and just keep losing. So, be careful!</p>
<p>That picture thing sounds really hurtful to me. She’ll probably know what you’re doing anyway and I’m sure she’s aware of the weight gain.</p>
<p>
I agree with this but it doesn’t mean the issue can’t be discussed. I think it should be discussed just as any other potential health issue should be discussed. Gaining 5-10 pounds in 6 months as a college freshman is one thing; gaining 30 pounds is quite different. This subject should be able to be discussed in a non-critical way. The focus should be on the mechanism for the weight gain and the best way to counteract that mechanism. The focus should ‘not’ be on appearance, fit of clothes, and other areas perceived to be negative. Sometimes a few anecdotes of others having to combat similar issues can help level the field and eliminate any adversarial atmosphere that can result with a focus on the negatives (which she’s already well aware of).</p>
<p>D just got home and was amazed to see that she had lost 20 pounds because she has been working out regularly and joined an ultimate team. I don’t see any signs of eating disorder (she’s still slightly above what is recommended) - she’s still got a healthy appetite.</p>
<p>That’s awesome, you should be sure to point out how great she looks.</p>
<p>Do people criticize a person when they are sick? Gaining a large amount of weight in a short time is a health problem. Or losing it in a short amount of time. Weight gain or loss, diet habits are health issues.</p>
<p>If she was morbidly obese than a mother pointing out a problem would be in her best interest. Gaining thirty pounds isn’t that dangerous and telling her about it would only make her feel worse. I doubt it would help at all.</p>
<p>Does she have yearly checkups or something with her doctor? I’d suggest scheduling one (even if it hasn’t been a year) but not telling her the reason, just passing it off as normal. I think it would be less hurtful for a doctor to bring it up than for you to.
I was always very thin and then gained a bit of weight (probably around 10lbs) in my early teen years and my mother made a comment (it was insensitive but she didn’t realize quite how insensitive) and I’ve always had body image problems since then, even though I’m relatively thin. Granted my situation was a bit different, but still I think having your mom say something about your weight is generally hurtful.</p>
<p>Gaining thirty pounds in a six months isn’t dangerous, Roonil_Wazlib? Might was to ask a doctor about that one.</p>
<p>Last night I had dinner with a friend who related that her d.–a girl who was always thin and very active in sports in high school has gained 20 lbs since Christmas (also a freshman). Her d. is very upset by this and attributes it to late night heavy snacking (lots of pizza and wings around midnight many nights) plus since in college she is not nearly as active physically as she was in high school. She has now started going to school gym and trying to keep lower calorie alternatives in dorm room for those late night eating sessions.</p>
<p>My friend, the mom, didn’t say anything to her d. about the gain. However, when the d. came home for spring break, she couldn’t fit into any of her old spring clothes–the d. was upset and asked for help in figuring out how to get it under control (this was a foreign concept to her as she had always just eaten what she wanted without a thought).</p>