She sounds a bit paranoid to me. I think the email was precipitated by the other 2 not responding to her initial emails to them. She then conjured up some story in her head that they were aligned against her and making decisions about the room without consulting her. So she came out swinging making herself look awful in the process.
Away from the ridiculous initial message and the poor judgment in taking this to social media, I have to admit I was appalled at the grammar in the exchange between the roommates. Did they write like that in their applications?
I have to agree that they should not have posted the details or names on social media.
As aggressive as that email was, I would rather deal with someone like that who lays it all out on the table than someone who resorts to passive aggressive tactics. At least I know what I am dealing with!
Ashley seems very unhinged. Her demand email comes across as aggressive and threatening. Posting the crazy email on social media was an inspired action. It outed a nutcase…before she could cause any real harm. And, before some other unsuspecting ‘randomly assigned roommate’ wound up with said crazy girl.
Oh good grief. Think for a moment here - how could outing her possibly have been a good idea or “inspired”?
You don’t think that someone who is crazy enough to send that kind of email isn’t also crazy enough to cause some kind of harm to the “good roommates”? It was evident she was going to be difficult enough of a roommate WITHOUT all the social media attention being paid to her. And now that it’s out in social media? Sorry, I think the “good” roommates just poured kerosene on the fire. I think it was a very unwise move.
Do you really think she’s going to blithely ignore those two girls – whose names she knows – when she is at UCLA? She already said she had a short fuse – when the roommates hadn’t done anything to tick her off other than not respond quickly enough. Now they’ve done something she will see as threatening, upsetting, mocking, public humiliation, etc. – do you think she’s NOT going to carry through with some consequences?
I really think that this use of social media for public shaming has gone too far.
It’s one thing to out the dentist who killed Cecil the lion. It’s another to pillory an 18 yr old whose greatest sin was apparently sending her prospective roommates an unpleasant email.
@Consolation: I mean, we say that, but here we are all talking about it…
I think UCLA will need to keep a very very very very close eye on this student, knowing what they do at this point. She’s clearly indicate an instability. She has clearly sent a threatening email correspondence to the potential roommates.
UCLA wil be under a watchful eye…yes by social media. If young lovely Ashley actually causes harm to anyone the poopoo will hit the fan. Doubt UCLA wants this to happen.
If they were smart, they would rescind her offer of admissions. Obviously she would cause a need for the creation of numerous safe spaces.
There is no way I would room with her. She sounds unstable, or as my daddy says, “she is selling woof tickets”.
As for the social media, get used to it,as it appears that is how many kids these days operate. Funny, I dropped my last off to college last month, and had the opportunity to see her again recently, as I was on my way out of the country.
I took her and a couple of friends out to eat. Like clockwork, they all took pics of their food, and proceeded to make a snap(snapchat). I dont get it, but, everyone including adults should learn that anything you write or say can end up on social media.
I’d be pissed at my kids if they were ever stupid enough to air this on social media. Yes, the 2 girls didn’t start it but they contributed to it in their responses instead of dealing with it through the school. Their identities are now forever linked to the incident in cyberland, poor grammar and all.
There are other avenues to bring this to UCLA’s attention. Forward the crazy email perhaps??
@Demosthenes49, true, but I hope that none of us are sharing it on Facebook or Twitter.
We didn’t “out” these girls here on CC. The link was to an article on the front page of a major news organization.
Sure, it’s not our fault that this made news… except for the fact that the news only reports it because we’re interested. I have a hard time blaming 17/18 year olds for posting on social media about a thing that’s happening to them (the other two roommates are strangers too, remember) that other people would be interested in. Isn’t that kind of the whole point of social media?
No, Demosthenes, the “whole point” of social media is not to publicly shame someone. Ashly is a private individual, and her private email – no matter how outrageous – should not be made public by someone else. No one – neither Ashly, her roommate and the media – acted responsibly.
The roommate should have forwarded the letter to the UCLA housing office/dean’s office/etc., and demanded a response.
Just because kids are growing up putting selfies on Snapchat doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t learn some social media etiquette.
@fireandrain: The point of social media is to share things from your life that you think would interest others. My understanding is that these girls shared it among their friends. To the extent it went further than that, how is that their fault? Millions of people post things online–even ridiculous things–every day. How could they know it would interest others and go further?
I also have a hard time seeing that there’s a reasonable expectation of privacy in demand letters sent to your upcoming roommates.
I don’t think the two “normal” roommates have any obligation to protect the wacky roommate from the consequences of her own actions. If you send a nutty demanding email to people you’ve never met, the consequences are on your own head, not the recipients of the email.
Now I personally would not have posted the email on Twitter. But I realize that I (and most CC members) am from a different generation. My D’s generation shares everything on social media, it’s just a given, and members of that generation are well aware of it.
All three roommates will take whatever lessons they take from this incident and hopefully come away a little wiser. Maybe they’ll decide not to share these types of things in the future, or maybe they’ll decide that things worked out well so they’ll keep doing it. Either way it’s up to them to draw their own conclusions on the effectiveness of their actions.
Why would the sender of the emails – “Ashly” – have any right to privacy in the content of the outrageous emails she sent? The recipients were perfect strangers to her; she hadn’t even met them yet. There should be no expectation of privacy with such an email, and the chance that the email would be shared and could go viral should be obvious to anyone smart enough to be admitted to UCLA.
I taught my daughter from a young age not to put anything in an email to an acquaintance – let alone a stranger – that she wouldn’t want published on the front page of the New York Times. I guess Ashly learned that lesson the hard way.
I’d strongly prefer that my own daughter not use social media to post that kind of thing (had she received such an outrageous email from a prospective roommate), and I have every reason to believe she wouldn’t post something like that. However, I could easily see her forwarding the email to a couple of friends, who each would forward it to a couple of friends, until it ended up on someone else’s social media. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if that happened. That’s simply the nature of modern communication.
There’s how Zuckerberg may want you to use social media and there is how you SHOULD use social media. You shouldn’t be posting every dang detail of your life - not about the fight with your mom when you didn’t get your way, not about your boyfriend breaking up with you, not about the mean thing some girl at school said about you that day, not the photo of underage you with a red cup, and certainly NOT the obnoxious email you received from the stranger who might be your roommate. One can choose to use social media responsibly.
The decision to post it on social media was to get a reaction, pure and simple. Maybe they underestimated the amount of reaction, but if they are social media users, they shouldn’t be too surprised by it.
For me, its less about Ashly’s rights to privacy and more about maintaining some privacy in general and not have one’s personal life available to the whole world for posterity (employers, your future boyfriend’s mother, whomever). And no, not all teens/college students feel the need to share everything on social media.
I wouldn’t want to be any of those 3 girls walking onto campus as new first years with this publicly aired.
As someone whose given name is Ashley, all I’ve got to say is that ‘Ashly’ spells her name wrong. ;D