<p>So I dont really have a problem meeting people … I meet lots of people but after meeting them were just aquaintances … I dont know how to turn these aquaintances into actual friends because they all have their own groups of friends already.
I do ask them to hang out or go eat sometimes but it just ends up being a one time thing because when they really want to hang out they obviously hang out with their own groups of friends and dont really invite me along since im just an aquaintance.
It just seems like all these people I meet have their friends, and then have me. When they want to hang out they hang out with their friends … and they talk to me every now and then to keep in touch.</p>
<p>Has anyone else had the same problem and does anyone know what I can do to make actual friends like my own set of friends? I’m tired of just KNOWING people without actually having friends.</p>
<p>Buy stuff for them.</p>
<p>My father’s best friend told me once that when my father was in college (which is when the two of them met), he could talk to absolutely anyone despite the fact that he had very few interests in common with most of his colleagues. What he apparently did was to pay attention to the things the people around him were interested in. For example, he studied football. He had no interest in the sport, but he grew up and went to college in an area of the country where it was a Very Big Deal, and he wanted to be able to talk to people who cared about football.</p>
<p>I thought that was a great idea.</p>
<p>Ever since, when I’ve been in a group of people I wanted to be able to socialize with, I’ve tried to follow the things they followed. For example, in high school I noticed that a lot of the people I wanted to hang out with read Newsweek, so I read Newsweek every week, all the way through. I was therefore able to discuss a range of current events whether or not I found them intrinsically interesting. Wherever I’ve lived, I at least skim major sections of a local newspaper (whichever one the people around me read), and I usually pay attention to the op-eds, because those are issues people care about.</p>
<p>It’s really worked out for me. When I want to, I can get into a conversation with someone about something that interests them, and I can be an interesting conversationalist – the kind of person they might want to spend more time talking to. Also, I find myself realizing that a lot of things are more interesting than I expected them to be.</p>
<p>What are your acquaintances interested in, and are you able to discuss those topics in an interesting way?</p>
<p>^^^Wow looks like being “fake” runs in the family.</p>
<p>Just go knock on their door one day and ask them if they want to come with you to Taco Bell or the grocery store. Then talk about anything, maybe gossip a bit, and after you’re back ask them if they are going to a campus event (like a play or something). If so, ask if you can tag along.</p>
<p>And just overall be confident and a good listener. Don’t be afraid of being rejected- eventually you’ll find your niche.</p>
<p>You usually need to make a continuous effort to get to know them outside of class. Get their phone numbers, ask if they want to come over and watch a game on TV, go to a movie, IM them, go to the mall.
Whatever it is, it needs to be consistent.</p>
<p>ChamilitaryMayne
Member ^^^Wow looks like being “fake” runs in the family. </p>
<p>Looks to me like this person is sociable. There’s nothing wrong with learning about somebody else’s interests and trying to be able to talk to them about it. That’s called being a good friend, and as s/he stated a good way to learn about new things and ideas. If anything you just sound like a loser.</p>