<p>How much does one pay a member of the clergy for a funeral or a wedding?</p>
<p>Just my guestimation as I haven’t had to do this for a long time but I would calculate how much time the officiant would need to attend and prepare and give them $20 - $30 an hour. ( more if they are needed for counseling for the wedding or funeral)
But that is just my random guess- I’m not Miss Manners.
Sometimes it’s easier to give a flat fee like $300-$500</p>
<p>Often the church/temple will give you a suggested amount. And it depends if you are a member or just using their services. One church around here that does a lot of weddings charges $300 for the clergy, and various other amounts for organist etc.</p>
<p>It also depends, for a funeral, if you are having a small graveside service, versus a full church service,e tc.</p>
<p>I work as the admin for a church and we only have a set fee for the organist, which is $150 for members or $200 for a non-member’s service. Thus far we haven’t had non-member weddings, so that’s only for funerals. When the pastor is asked about a fee, she says that it is up to the family, and they can also designate the fee to go to one of our missions instead of directly to her. I’ve processed checks for anywhere from $50 to $500, so in our case the answer is “it depends”. We also offer to do the bulletins, and we may charge for supplies if we don’t have what they want on hand.</p>
<p>Building use is another matter. We do have a fee schedule based on how many people will be there, whether the kitchen is used, how long the hall is being used, and whether it’s for members. We generally allow Sanctuary and hall use for free to members, but $300 and up for non-members. Use of the Sanctuary AND hall with kitchen use is the most expensive. </p>
<p>This may be more than you needed to know, but I thought I’d include it all.</p>
<p>Church where my D got married had a specific fee for the minister. Plus, we had to pay for building use (just the church nothing else). It was about $1500. </p>
<p>I’d second Sseamom’s suggestion: call and ask.</p>
<p>If wedding party/decedent is a member of the congregation, isn’t that part of the clergy’s job? I understand wanting to offer an honorarium, but I’d think the idea of calculating an hourly rate might be insulting. Marrying and burying are part of the job, especially if a funeral, for example, takes place during the normal work day. Maybe I’m wrong about this, not sure…</p>
<p>Musicians are often union members and therefore may have a set rate. </p>
<p>Wedding planners and funeral directors may also be good sources for this info.</p>
<p>Not all musicians who play at churches are union members. I sing at weddings and I charge $75 per song.</p>
<p>Beil-you’re kind of right. But often family wants a memorial service in a different church for an elderly member who moved to another congregation in later years, for example, or the former pastor who the older member knew. So it’s not as simple as saying “it’s their job”. My pastor will be doing a memorial at her old church for a member there in a few weeks. She is no longer pastor there and the member who died was no longer a member. But it was his “home church” so they’re working out the details of having a memorial in a place they no longer visit presided over by a person no longer working there.</p>
<p>We’ve also done similar services at our church. So it’s possible that an honorarium would come up. And even if they ARE members, weddings and memorials are often outside of “business hours”. Although my pastor is sort of on-call 24/7, she doesn’t actually LIVE there so we do take offers of payment to her. She’s allowed free time.</p>
<p>And our organist has always been a grad student at the local U. They refer each other as they graduate. They are regular PT employees, but are pretty far from union.</p>
<p>Clergy fees differ around the country. It will be more in major cities and both coasts. </p>
<p>There are clergy who ask $300 for a wedding but knock themselves out to calm couples and families, long before the ceremony date. Others show up on time, barely relate, need help remembering names and receive $1,000. In addition to the fee, it’s wise to ask the clergy what they normally “do” for a family outside of the cermony itself.</p>
<p>To figure out your community, ask the office at any house of worship if their clergy participates in a monthly network or association with other clergy. If so, contact that group’s president. Ask what is the range of fees requested by clergy from YOUR area. </p>
<p>If that’s all too complicated, the easiest way is to ask the individual clergy you are considering. </p>
<p>Some houses of worship consider the annual Membership Dues to include the clergy fee. Belonging means you have the clergy for significant lifecycle occasions such as these. For some families, that’s an incentive to join as members.</p>
<p>Houses of worship may (or may not) allow their own fulltime clergy to take time away from their flock to perform an individual lifecycle ceremony for non-members. If they do, they allow clergy to charge a non-member rate.</p>
<p>If a dues-paying member wants to thank or reward a clergy for particula
rly good service, they sometimes add a check as extra gift.</p>
<p>Funeral homes usually fold in a standard clergy fee (for non-members) as part of the total funeral package they arranged with family. In those situations, the funeral home cuts the check to clergy. To know the standard amount, you could ask the funeral home or clergy. If an individual is indigent, advise the clergy, who can instruct the funeral home not to levy a clergy fee for that family. If an individual is a member-in-good-standing (dues paid up) of that clergy’s house-of-worship, there should be no funeral home fee levied on behalf of the clergy.</p>
<p>When we were married (1983), the rabbi who performed our ceremony did not charge us. His explanation was that he served the entire Jewish community in that area. I had studied for my conversion with him, but had not joined. $$ was too tight back then, though we did get him some very nice gifts.</p>
<p>Our synagogue has a “Rabbi’s Discretionary Fund” – one can contribute in honor/memory of someone, for taking a free class sponsored by the shul, for the rabbi’s assistance in times of hardship, etc. The rabbi uses the funds for special projects not necessarily covered in the budget (reimbursement to congregants for providing meals to a local shelter, books for the free courses, emergency financial assistance to congregants, etc.).</p>
<p>When my BIL and SIL were married ten years ago in north Jersey, they paid $750 for the clergy who performed the ceremony.</p>
<p>In my experience, if you are not a congregant/parishioner, you will be charged and the clergy will tell you what the expected fee is. This conversation should occur up front, at the time when the officiant is engaged.</p>
<p>Our parish charges members a $600 facility fee + $400 music fee for a wedding; the stipend for the pastor is left to the parishioner’s discretion. For nonmembers, or members of less than 1 yr., the facility fee is $2K. I’ve heard that the typical stipend for the priest is $500.</p>
<p>At the cathedral in town, parishioner’s who regularly contribute aren’t charged a facility fee but must pay fees for the organist, cantor, altar servers, security guard, etc., which are all listed in the preparation booklet. Non-members pay a $2K facility fee.</p>
<p>I haven’t heard of similar fees for funerals. When our parents died, my brother thought he was being extremely generous to give the pastor a stipend of $100. I told him that was the same amount dh gave the pastor at that parish when we were married over 30 years ago. He was shocked that dh had given anything (brother didn’t consider it when he got married.)</p>
<p>As others have said, it varies widely. When we had a memorial service earlier this month, a relative suggested we give the monk $100–we gave $150. He performed the services.</p>
<p>For performing weddings as a justice of the peace, often rates are $100-200 or more + transportation & any extras, depending on whomever sets the rates.</p>
<p>For funerals, I usually get a check through the funeral home, which is probably a standard fee. Most of the funeral homes in my area have a $125 stipend for pastors. I generally spend 2 hours meeting with the family, a couple of hours preparing the service/sermon, and the funeral itself, with visitation prior and traveling to the cemetery and attending the burial is another 2-3. So I earn about $20/hour.</p>
<p>For weddings, I do not have a set fee for members since I do consider pre-marriage prep and the wedding to be part of my job. This is even for “members” that I have never met prior to the first pre-marital meeting, and who have not given the church any offerings…</p>
<p>For non-members there is a $250 charge for use of the building and a $300 fee for the pastor’s services. Compared to the cost of the reception and photographer, these charges are fairly minimal. </p>
<p>I am part-time at the church, so the hours spent doing marriage preparation and the wedding are additional hours on top of what I would normally be doing for the church, and I don’t feel it’s fair for the church to pay for those hours. Weddings take time: there are three meetings prior to the service, time spent preparing for those meetings (we use a survey format to glean information for discussion on many relation issues), the rehearsal, time writing a homily, and the wedding itself. $300 works out to be less than $20/hour.</p>
<p>And of course, ALL stipends are reported to the IRS and subject to self-employment and income taxes.</p>
<p>I’d like to add a slightly different perspective. When I was doing an internship at a hospital as a chaplain, then worked as a chaplain for a non-profit hospice agency, I was not allowed, under any circumstances to accept any fee for any services provided. Of course people feel obligated to pay clergy for these services, but I was required to turn over any fee collected to the hospital or hospice agency. I always told families this and many times, they were disappointed that the honorarium was given to the institution or agency. As employees of a hospital or agency, we are not allowed to accept personal ‘gifts’ (as they were seen) from any patient or family. These services were usually provided to families who had no church affiliation, yet had formed a relationship with the chaplain so they asked them to perform services, usually at the funeral home. Sometimes the family would give the check to me directly (which then I’d have to sign over), or if I’d notified of them of this ahead of time, they’d write the check out to the agency; or sometimes the funeral director would offer guidance. From what I remember, these stipends generally ranged between $75-150. Since I was an hourly employee, though, I was still paid for my time, as I turned in a time sheet reflecting preparation time/service time/family counseling time, etc., so I did get paid for my time. Some services required more work than others, but I figured in the end it all averages out. </p>
<p>But I always hated having to tell families that the money they wished to give me would be turned over to someone else (the memorial fund). However, I had to tell them; otherwise they wouldn’t understand why they would be receiving a thank-you note from our foundation for their donation.</p>
<p>I am clergy at large Protestant church in the South. We have no set fee for clergy for weddings and funerals. I never mention it, I figure that my services are just part of my calling. But if someone asks, I will say “It’s up to you.” Usually I get $50-$100 per service. I’ve also gotten gift cards, which are fine. </p>
<p>I have a colleague who, when asked about wedding fees, just says “Just consider what you paid for the cake.” Meaning, what is more important to you - the clergyperson officiating or the cake?</p>
<p>Wow. This must really be regional. My experience over 30 years in the Northeast with various religions and denominations is that there is a fee, and it’s usually hefty, if you don’t belong to the congregation in question.</p>
<p>Interesting experience to share, teriwitt. Thanks for posting it.</p>
<p>OP, here.</p>
<p>I helped my friend, a recent widow, write thank-yous and she paid the organist (who works for her church as the music director and organist) and her pastor $200 each. She was told by the funeral director that the organist’s fee was a set amount, but left the pastor’s fee up to her. She and her husband were quite active members of this church and, although I didn’t mention my concerns to her–she has enough on her plate right now, I thought the fees seemed a bit excessive. She thought the pastor deserved at least as much as the organist, so she made the checks out for the same amount. </p>
<p>I was curious about the experiences of others and the customs shared in other locations.
As one might expect, it seems to vary significantly.</p>
<p>When my H and I were married over 30 years ago, my father, a minister, performed the service. About 10 or 15 years later, we were visiting when my dad was the minister at the wedding of my sister’s friend. His fee came up in conversation and my H was surprised to hear that the groom is supposed to pay the minister. He said to my dad “Well I guess I owe you.” My brother chimed up and said on behalf of the family, “Oh no, we owe you!!”</p>