I’ll start.
DD called our landline two days ago and asked “are you home?”
3 Likes
My kids would ask “What’s a landline?”
6 Likes
A house painter said, “Oh, sorry I missed those spots. I left my eyeglasses at home today.”
A wallpaperer said, “I didn’t think you would notice that the seams didn’t match in that spot.”
I’m a runner and several times when I’ve met people outside a running event and I don’t have running attire on, they have commented: “This is the first time I’ve seen you with clothes on”
2 Likes
In my early 20s I was running with a running group… and was running next to this similarly aged guy who I had never spoken to before… and his first words out of his mouth to me were…
“Do you have a weight problem?!” Good grief. Worst pickup line ever!!!
And then after a run my then pre-school aged younger S told me “You smell like a horse that’s been dead from winter until spring!”
5 Likes
Clearly…she had no idea she was calling on a landline!!
10 times a day I answer the phone - and get asked - hi, do you have a minute ?
Hmmmm. I answered.
1 Like
Bought my wife a Valentines Day card on Sunday and the cashier made a point of telling me it wasn’t returnable.
I explained we had been married 30 years so felt confident we would make it until Wednesday and the card would be used.
She smiled and said “they” make me say it and with an eye roll said, “every year we have people try and return cards.”
2 Likes
Oddest and also maybe rudest question: (background, my 3 kids all look completely different)
“Do they have different fathers?”
For once I was fast enough to reply “Yes! But don’t tell my husband”
9 Likes
We went out to eat one night and asked the hostess if we could be seated in a booth. She replied that they didn’t have a booth available but she could get us a table that overlooked a booth. This was 40 years ago when we were first married and we still laugh about it anytime we are someplace with booths.
4 Likes
I have fraternal twins - our pediatrician wasn’t available and we had to see her male colleague when the kids were babies - first thing out if his mouth was “are they real”! I somehow had it together enough to respond “no, they are aliens”.
He apologized and looked a bit stunned. Hopefully he reviewed the chapter regarding bed side manners and that IVF babies are real babies.
Also had a woman tell me that it was unfair that my preschoolers took up 2 spots at the school (only 12 kids), so her friend’s child didn’t get accepted - jeez !!!
Funny not funny 
2 Likes
I love that you still buy your wife a Valentine card - I read this out loud to my husband and he rolled his eyes 
3 Likes
In common with everyone else who has boy/girl twins, we repeatedly got asked if they were identical, even after introducing them by name and when one was wearing blue and the other pink…
3 Likes
Somewhat similar to the above posters:
One of my kids resembles me less than the others. More than once when bringing that one (minus siblings) to a playdate/birthday party, another parent asked me “Are you the family’s nanny?” and “how long have you worked for the X family”
ETA: I just remembered once, directed to that child (not to me), “Why don’t you ask your nanny if you can stay for dinner?”
1 Like
Our rude question was when people asked if our adopted daughters were sisters. I’d answer “They are now.”
My aunt also asked how much they cost 
2 Likes
One time, a man I met at a work meeting said he heard I was from Oklahoma and that he heard people in Oklahoma didn’t wear shoes.
I told him I went barefoot in the summer when I was a kid, but other than that, yes, we wore shoes like everyone else.
When I was in 9th grade, I went to Kentucky for the summer and was around a lot of similarly-aged women. They told me I spoke English well—I told them they did too.
They also asked if we had electricity—I told them we had hydropower and plugged our appliances into the ocean.
5 Likes
This just happened yesterday. I live in a county that has many retirees, so when you are out and about, people in the stores are generally over sixty years old. I was in the Valentine Card aisle (several other people were in the same aisle). I liked the first card I spotted, so I said to the other ladies, “I picked the first one I found and it is perfect”, referring to the card I selected. The lady next to me said, “Well, the same thing happened with my husband, and here I am.” We all laughed. It was really sweet.
18 Likes
Ha, I got “are you his babysitter?” with one of my sons, or some variation, relatively frequently.
1 Like
I must have missed the memo that cards are no longer a thing😀