These vague dress code themes are one of the reasons I dread being invited to weddings these days. A friend’s daughter’s wedding last year was “Black Tie Neutral”. The bride wanted to see us in something other than black but no bright colors. She is a content creator/influencer and wanted everyone in neutral colors for the pictures. The problem was that in my mind, the neutrals come dangerously close to the shade of the wedding dress. Enough people must have questioned my friend about it because the bride eventually changed the dress code to include bright colors and black.
This generation of brides seem to love a theme - God bless. If it’s too confusing to us Gen Xers, we might just opt out altogether. I sometimes think they don’t take into consideration what older guests can and would feel comfortable wearing for a specific theme. The pictures with outfit examples are cute but often reflect what guests who are the bride & groom’s age would wear and not what those of us who are 50+ would wear.
I’m all for the “Black Tie Optional” dress code. It tells the wedding guest that the B&G want dressy attire but not necessarily floor length gowns and tuxes.
That is what a recent bride defined as black tie for the men and black chic for the women. Another wedding was all black, so similar. There were questions about wearing white shirts for me. I was kind of amazed at the range of black dresses for the women!
Only the groom’s parents (Gen X), my friend and I (Baby Boomers) were old. Everyone else was under 35 (most way under). It was what my daughter wanted, she paid, so…
So much emphasis on the BIG day. I love a beautiful wedding as much as the next person, but I wish there was a bit more focus on the fact that a wedding should (hopefully) be just the beginning of a 60+ year adventure.
I think this generation considers black tie a synonym for “festive”. And since they live in sweats and leggings…it’s just a prompt to “make an effort”.
I got an invite with a similar dress code “black tie optional – but with flair.” Huh? H and I don’t do “flair” and decided we didn’t need to buy something new that we would never put on again. So he’ll wear either a dark suit or tux and I’m going to wear a black and gold midi-length dress that has a bit of sparkle. It will have to do!
We were invited to a rather elaborate 1920s themed wedding about 12 years ago. The invitation conveyed an expectation that guest attire should be true to the era. When I asked the bride more about this (could there be a nod or two to the decade in a more contemporary outfit?) she said they wanted complete looks and suggested that I could dress like Lady Mary from Downton Abbey, no matter that the character was in her twenties, as were our kids and that I lacked a costume department. I had a good laugh and did my best. The event had a theatrical feel, with staged events and guests were part of the ‘cast’.
When our daughter got married, she said the dress code was ‘black tie optional’. Not sure it is the most useful phrasing these days, if it ever was.
We’ll be getting dressed up for the day, and we hope you will too - whatever that means for you! Wear something that makes you feel beautiful or festive. The wedding is on a farm, so footwear should be on the sensible side.
That sounds like what our kids put on their website. The invite was just a postcard. The site had information about the venue and what to expect (grass, an occasional bug, etc. ). All of their guests were tech savvy so no issues with putting info online. Guests’ attire ranged from gowns to simple linen dresses, from suits to polo shirts and khakis.
I’m not a fan of guests being used as props for a themed party, but IMO the younger generation needs to be reminded that a wedding is not a place where holey jeans and tees are appropriate.
I have seen people show up for a wedding in jeans. Sometimes I think all of these recent uses of various wedding dress codes are just a way that the couple uses to plead “no jeans please”
Men wear suits, women wear dresses (although fancy jumpsuits are popular). I’ve never even seen men wearing short sleeves. Boys wouldn’t wear jeans to a 6th grade dance (and some will wear suits). It’s dress to impress even early on. I’ve only attended one casual wedding years ago in western Massachusetts on my husband’s uncle’s farm. There was a portapotty.
