Can be an issue here in our neck - Seattle! 
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Here in NJ 20 somethingās dress just for the bars (especially the ladies).
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If a wedding was black tie or black tie optional, my husband would always chose to wear his tux; he just preferred it to a suit. We had a friends sonās wedding many years ago and I told H that it was black tie. I hadnāt looked at the invitation since receiving it 2 months before. Turns out the dress was cocktail and the only other men in a tux were the waitstaff! 
H got a good bit of ribbing from friends, but handled it well. I felt guilty as it was my fault, and the black dress I had on worked for anything from cocktail to black tie.
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The wedding attire subreddit can be an awful lot of fun.
It struck me last year when my daughter was looking for a dress, well, a weekendās worth of dresses for a big wedding in France, that casual, cocktail, black tie optional, festive, and black tie can all mean the same thing to some people. Throw in a wedding in a European country and some European guests and it can be a real muddle.
Coordinating all of the guest attire to the wedding colors seems to be a thing. Also, some are very particular that there be no white at all on a dress.
My nieceās wedding was at a country club with a dress code. The father of the groom wore jeans. 
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My nieceās husband wore shorts to (her) cousinās wedding. It was gardened themes, but all (the 9) groomsmen wore Tuxes (and of course groom, both fathers), most women had on long dresses (not required). He was definitely underdressed. MOG said groom had told him to wear whatever he liked. Thatās what he liked.
I think he felt uncomfortable as at my daughterās wedding a few months later, he wore long pants. She had several people wearing jeans but many of their friends are country people (farmers, hunters) and she knew thatās what theyād wear when she invited them.
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I just looked at the website for a wedding we are invited to in August. They clearly spelt out the dress code for all the events, including footwear (grassy area - donāt wear heels, comfortable shoes for dancing!). But one thing I havenāt seen elsewhere - they specified no tuxes!!
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Thatās a first! Maybe they did not want people to feel under/overdressed? Kind of set the ceiling for the level of formality of the dress code. To think of it, I kind of like that. I bet the groom and his men will not be wearing tuxes!
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Iām surprised by how many young men I know own tuxes. Itās either because they play in an orchestra or decided that it made sense to buy for an event instead of rent.
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Unless an event specified black tie (or black tie optional) I would never let H consider wearing a tux. Interesting they felt a need to say it so directly.
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We bought our son the required music department tux (inexpensive) for freshman band. Good thing he switched to jazz band because he outgrew it by senior year.
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Or they can buy a tux for $20 at their local thrift shop, have it cleaned and altered, and know they are set! Vintage tuxedos are very big among my kids friendsā¦either grandpas or throatedā¦
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Iāve been to a lot of weddings and Iāve never seen a tux in years. When my siblings got married colored tuxās were the fashion. I donāt know any of the younger generation who even own one. I so think that the younger people donāt know the true definition of black tie. They just want people dressed up.
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My son was just best man in a wedding and the attendants purchased nice looking gray suits. Heās glad because now he has a suit to wear to the several other weddings heās been invited to this year.
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My nephew used his fatherās hand me down since high school but finally bought his own. He went to a lot of black tie events in high school and after. He was an escort for a number of Deb events, heās been in weddings, heās been to his own fraternity events.
He got married last summer and the only groomsmen who needed to rent tuxes were 2 who lived overseas and just didnāt want to lug one back so just rented. It is just sort of the crowd he hangs with.
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@mom60 -I am having terrible flashbacks. Both of my brothers were married in the late ā70ās and the guys wore powder blue tuxes. When I got married, my Dadās only request was ā no colored tuxes!ā. I had no intention of doing that.
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100% this!! One son did this ā $40, way cheaper than renting a tux for his high school prom. Heās now 30, and has one he paid retail for. My youngest got my husbandās hand-me-down that my husband could ā cough ā no longer fit into. He has worn it a few times. (No one in the family is a musician).
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S was in HS band and had to buy a tux. He didnāt wear it all that much but it was about $100 and the pants were washable (on gentle). He loaned it to a few guys whose parents didnāt want to rent tuxes for proms.
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You know, there is a tux in the bedroom closet. Itās actually pretty nice as my father needed it for Knights of Columbus things (he was the grand pooh-bah) but it stopped fitting a while before he died. I think it is too small for one brother and too big for all the others.
My SIL bought one at Macyās for his wedding in March. Wedding was in Spain so easier than renting and worrying about returning it within a certain time. His father wore a tux but I donāt know if he owns it or rented it.
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My late brother used to go to a LOT of charity functions (especially dinners) and had quite a wardrobe of tuxedos. Sadly, no family member fits his size. The rest of us rarely dress very formallyāhey we live in HI!
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My father photographed a lot of weddings and his go-to outfit in the 1970s was a powder blue suit with ruffled shirt.
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