<p>I figured that since I’m unhappy with my college choices, I should do something about it. The way I figure it I have two choices: 1) Go to one of my choices for 1 semester than try to transfer or 2) Take a Gap Year or Semester and than reply apply as freshman (Spring admission, if possible) to different schools. My issue is this: I have a very strong HS record that most likely could have gotten me into an excellent college that I unfournately discovered too late in the process. Said school says the consider college work heavily in evaluating transfer applicants, and I don’t want a less than stellar college semester to detract from my HS record.</p>
<p>Well, I don’t tend to have a horrible first semester, I doubt I can repeat my 4.0 from HS. My choices were on my list for financial reasons, schools I could easily pay for without going into debt and that seemed to be decent fits. But now I’m wondering if I should had stopped looking at the bottom line and openned myself up to more schools with more studious (read: less drunk) student bodies.</p>
<p>That is the thing about monday morning quarterbacking, everyone talks about what they could have / should have done. At selective schools, your high school record is only one component used to evaluate you for admissions as the school looks at what you can do, will do, fit and if you are a good addition when they are crafting a class. Do you fit in with their insitutional mission. </p>
<p>Nothing is certain, live on a few more days (specifically the next 2 weeks) you will see a lot of students who also have “very strong HS records” expressing their hurt/disappointment over being waitlisted or rejected at some of the same schools you think you could have gotten into. Unless you had a really compelling hook, you would have just been one more BWRK added to the mix trying to differientiate yourself from the rest of the pack. </p>
<p>If I remember correctly you got into some schools very strong HS record ith some substantial merit money, so you did not waste your time just because you don’t have a “shiny trophy” to add to your case. College is what you make of it because there are many roads that will ultimately take you to yoru next destination. I think what you should do is make sure you take an acceptance, even if you defer to take a gap year (which will need to be one hell of a year) if you intend to go through the process all over again.</p>
<p>sybbie, didn’t you read my reply in my other thread? This isn’t about shiny trophies, this is about me having to go a school that is above the national average in binge drinking or a commuter school. I know II made bad choices; I’m not trying to blame anyone else. What Im trying too do is salvage the whole situation! I don’t want to go a crappy school, surrounded by people who do nothing but drink-n-puke their way through college; I didn’t work this hard to be miserable. Today, I broke down and cried sat the thought of going to my schools. Why did I apply you ask? Money. My family is part of that middle class squeeze that can’t pay full frieght and doesn’t get much aid. I was trying to keep my parents’ retirement account intact. I don’t see why I should go to a school and be miserable anymore. If I wanted to be surrounded by drunk college kids or working adults trying to get a degree, I could have gotten a lot more sleep in HS or just headed off to the local ITT. I screwed up, I’m willing to admit that, but I’m trying to fix it. You didn’t see andison rushing off to “open door state u;” he waited, he applied, and he has GOOD choices this year. My situation is admitedly better, but I’m trying to “pick up my own pieces.”</p>
<p>I agree, don’t go to a school you hate because your only going to resent your time there. You should probably take a year off, work and maybe enroll in a community college and then reapply to schools the following year. This way you can save some money by having credits and go to the schools of your choice. Money isn’t worth happiness.</p>
<p>It is apparent that you don’t know the situation with andison whose situation is different from yours. If you want to talk about records, he presented a much stronger record than yours only to be denied/ waitlisted at all of his list of schools and the reason for his gap year. Try reading her post picking up the pieces to get a better perspective.</p>
<p>You will also find students puking their way through college at Emory, Vandy, Rice, Washington and Lee, and virtually every college in the country.</p>
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<p>So are you saying now it is okay, for them to go in to their retirement account because you don’t like the schools that you chose (with considerable merit money). Sounds like entitlement issues.</p>
<p>I’m sorry to say it, hatingmychoices, but you do come off as pretty spoiled. If you told us what schools you were talking about, we might be able to give you more advice on whether or not your contention that the schools are too far below your ability level is warranted.</p>
<p>If you didn’t even apply to better schools assuming that you wouldn’t get enough aid, maybe you should do this: Accept your offer of admission at one of your schools, but defer admission for a year. Get a job next year, and apply to some of the reach schools you feel you deserve, as well as some state schools that might give you some merit aid, even if it isn’t a full ride. Obviously, if you are accepted to some of these schools but would be paying 25,000 + per year, you will probabaly wind up confronted with the same situation. However, if you got into, say, UVa, or UNC -Chapel Hill, or a less elite but still very good (i.e, 2nd tier, rather than third) state school with an honors program for under 20K, maybe your family could pay, particularly if you agreed to help out. I mean, if you had been a mediocre student, your parents would presumably have been willing to pay full price at a state school for you to get an education. So it isn’t that impossible.</p>
<p>Whatever you decide, stop whining. You are old enough to think for yourself. You should have thought of these things before making your choices. You also need to stop putting down schools that I’m sure other kids would love to get into, and that you yourself can get a great education at.</p>
<p>one of the first things my son and I learned last spring was that self pity was a total waste of time. If you really don’t like the schools you’re into or just aren’t ready to go to college start making alternative plans such as taking a gap year. If you’re in a position, such as we were, where money was an issue, you should include work as part of your plans and then add some activities that are meaningful to you. </p>
<p>As you noticed, my son has had great results this year- but let me tell you he has worked hard! He had a job which required getting up at 4 a.m. some days, he took college courses and did a LOT of activities that were challenging and important to him. AND he put a lot of effort into researching new schools and carefully re-doing nine entirely new applications. It also meant living another year with his parents which fortunately went well because we get along but he didn’t have the same freedoms that college freshmen do.</p>
<p>If you can picture yourself a year from now being a more mature person and feeling that you’d have more direction in your life and better choices, then the gap year may be worth it to you. But you can’t take a gap year and sit around. You have to be very self-motivated.</p>
<p>So if that doesn’t appeal to you then come up with a scenario of how you would work out a college transfer- go to one of the places you’ve gotten into and work very hard so you DO keep up your GPA. </p>
<p>And if that doesn’t appeal to you either than count your blessing that you got into some schools and look for the good points.</p>
<p>I’m not trying to whine. I asked for advice; I’m getting insults. I read andison’s situation and I said I know mine is better. My point was, I’m sure there was a school out there that would have accepted andison that year, but he choose to take a gap year and reapply. Oh, and you don’t know my academic records, so what gives you the right to say his (while it is better) makes mine crap. It’s a GOOD RECORD.</p>
<p>How am I see any more entitled than all the kids here who don’t have a school under $30,000 on their whole list? Does the fact that they expect their parents to pay upfront make it so much better.</p>
<p>Look, I’m trying to fix my situation. Other than the suggestion on working (thanks for that, by the way), I’ve gotten little guidance. I’m trying to make myself not be miserable for 4 years. I admit I screwed up; I admit it’s MY fault. I’m not blaming anyone but me. I know it may seem like I’m acting like a brat, but when the thought of going to these schools literally makes me cry, I know there’s something wrong.</p>
<p>We were so clueless when we started out that we thought that one of the only kinds of aid we’d get would be need blind. It wasn’t until we went thru this the second time that we found out about the many opportunities to get merit aid. There are a lot of good schools that offer it.</p>
<p>Perhaps you <em>should</em> consider taking the year off to work and pursue some of the activities that really excite your interest and start over. It’s an excellent opportunity to get more involved with some things that you only had limited time for in high school and working will give you some funds to help the bottom line. I’m sure your parents would appreciate that too.</p>
<p>andi,
Good to hear from you. I hope you realize I wasn’t trying to make light or downplay your son’s situation; on the contrary, I respect him (and you) greatly. I am a very motivated person (planned out my whole HS career myself), and I like the idea of gap year. However, I’m not sure if my parents would go for the idea, money or no. The went to college for fun and took the long route to graduation so they see no problem with going to a third tier school.</p>
<p>I know I probably sound like a spoiled brat, but I promise, I’m not. It’s just…the more I find out about theses schools, the more I dread attending them, and it’s freaking me out. I feel like my world for the past four years is crumbling, and I don’t know how to fix it. I’ve spent the last four years being generally smart, motivated, involved, and pragmatic (which is why I picked out such a pratical list of school).</p>
<p>Congrats on your son’s acceptances and I wish him nothing but the best.</p>
<p>HatingMychoices-- wait a few weeks. In early May, colleges which still have spaces available post through NACAC (I think that’s the website) to let kids in your situation know that they’ve got room. These are not all “puke your way through college” places; as I recall last year, there were some fine, solid LAC’s on the list. Many of them are in geographies which make them a tough sale, so you’ll have to decide if you’re willing to compromise on location in order to attend a school which may well attract a more serious student body.</p>
<p>if you were my kid, I’d tell you to enroll in the least objectionable school on the list; work hard Freshman year and apply as a transfer student. I also think you need to spend some time on one of the online Financial Aid calculators to get a better sense of where you stand. I think it’s unwise for your parents to spend their IRA’s on tuition; however, you may be eligible for more aid than you think. You need to investigate the college’s policy on fin aid for transfers before you go this route.</p>
<p>Have you applied for outside scholarships? Your GC should have a list of local things, which tend not to get as many applicants as the national ones. They’re not worth that much, but $1K from the local realtors and $2K from the Jaycees and $500 from the garden club will pay for books and lab fees and whatever. My son won something local which was nice; he was informed in the Spring of Freshman year that he was getting it again for Sophomore year because nobody else had applied. That was free money-- an hour of his time to write the first essay, and then 10 minutes Freshman year to send a transcript to prove he hadn’t dropped out.</p>
<p>I think you need to re-frame your thinking here in order to have a successful year next year regardless of which option you choose. How about this: “I worked really hard in HS; I made a lot of trade-offs of leisure time and social life to focus on academics; I did well in HS. Now I’m going to XYZ college where all those study skills and that work ethic is going to really pay off. I’m going to continue to work hard (regardless of what my classmates are doing) I’m going to cultivate relationships with my professors which will be really easy since I won’t have 500 other kids waiting after lecture to ask questions or get clarification on an assignment; I’m going to pursue research and internship opportunities on campus which will be easy since my classmates aren’t as motivated as I am so there’s less competition. When I finish my degree in four years, I’ll be debt free; I’ll have worked really hard and have several professors who really know me and are ready to write stellar recommendations for grad school or help me find a great job; I’ll have a really strong GPA which will help me when and if I go to grad school. Boy I’m lucky.”</p>
<p>If you re-read sybbie’s post, I’m sure you will, upon reflection, acknowledge that no one said your record came out the wrong end of the horse. You are defensive, and hurting, and I think all the parents here can see that. It’s hard to comment, when we don’t know which schools you are talking about. If you could get into MIT, but only applied to Podunk Community College, the answer would be apparent. </p>
<p>But we don’t have any of the facts you have. Is it possible you might be reacting to your friends’ acceptances to MIT, Yale, etc., and feeling a little out of it (you might admit that some of your statements might lead us to that conclusion)? Or did you really apply to schools which truly are not a good fit for you? </p>
<p>If you don’t feel comfortable sharing which schools you are talking about, could you at least put us in the ballpark?</p>
<p>Overall, in the absence of facts, I think andi’s comments sound on the mark. If you really and truly would be miserable going to the schools you have applied to, listen closely to your gut. Imagine September, with all your friends packing for college. How will you feel? Will you regret not going somewhere? If you can imagine not going to college in September, and you feel that going to your schools would still be worse than how that makes you feel - and you have a constructive plan for the gap year - that might be the way to go.</p>
<p>No I didn’t feel that you were making light of my son’s situation. I was only clarifying that the difference in the second round wasn’t just the difference of a year but because he had worked hard and applied smarter.</p>
<p>Last year when I first posted our story, Blossom wrote us a similarly thoughtful message. I think she’s right on again. She’s given you some good options. </p>
<p>And, have you really thoroughly looked into your schools? Have you done overnights and looked into the lifestyles of the students who aren’t drunken louts? </p>
<p>If you <em>think</em> that working and taking a gap year appeals to you, then you could write up a proposal and present it to your parents. If it doesn’t fly it doesn’t fly. </p>
<p>There’s a lot to consider about choosing a school and the entire change of life that goes with it. I don’t think you sound spoiled - just overwhelmed at the moment. It’ll get better. Maybe make a chart listing the schools and noting the pros and cons and putting a list of transfer schools together.<br>
andi</p>
<p>Transferring IS HARD. Especially if you don’t know how well you will actually do in college. It’s not quite fun to be writing a bunch of essays and begging on your knees to your professors and deans to write your references all while on top of other things that you’ve been doing since September. I was extremely lucky to be accepted at the only school that I applied to.</p>
<p>Look, things happen to everyone. While I didn’t quite have the top honors in my record but I was a strong student in HS. I didn’t get into schools that I wanted to get in (including where I am now). I had only THREE offers with one of them giving me a half-scholarship. I chose only the best one out of the three that was closest to fit with the living environment (small town) that would satisfy me. Gap year never occurred to me- even if I knew about it, I wouldn’t have done it because I wanted to go to college. Would I have gone to our local community college? Hard to say because I had Smith’s letter of acceptance in hand… and I thought that it would be interesting to be an all-women’s college just as an experience.</p>
<p>You sound like a very strong student who wants to keep going. I would just choose the best offer that you have. Don’t focus so much on the drinking aspect- I was intitally turned off by Colgate because it was a party school. I went anyway for other reasons. It’s not quite so much of a party school as I expected. It depends on WHO you are around. If you choose a sub-free dorm, you’ll find more people who don’t drink.</p>
<p>Don’t be shameful about “wasting” your parents’ money. They want you go to college. You CAN work to help. That’s what I did. Plus you can use your year to explore yourself. That’s how I knew that my last school was not right for me as I thought it was when I was in high school. I needed a better fit with my personality. Think of it as an investment to yourself as a person.</p>
<p>Go to college. If you still don’t feel right on your first day there, then just turn around and go home. These things happen.</p>
<p>I agree that colleges, especially very large ones often have smaller communities within them that can have something for everyone. I went to a large state U for undergrad & later pro school. The schools had/have a rep for partying, but it all depends on what YOU want & find. I am not a drinker (& don’t do drugs) & was able to have a great social life without drinking & with others who similarly didn’t drink (& don’t do drugs).
I made my niche in college as a sophomore transfer student–I sought out & enjoyed the company of upperclassmen, grad students and professors, as well as students who enjoyed learning. I did a lot of extra-curricular activities as well, including being the 1st to graduate with honors in my department ever by writing the 1st honors thesis ever. It all paid off for me because it got me into the professional school of my choice & I graduated from all my schooling with virtually no debt.
You & your family have a lot to talk about & decide. Good luck in working through all of this & figuring out what will work best for you & your family.</p>