<p>okay, so here’s my question…My 17-year-old daughter has a wide array of friends…she’s great with everybody…she’s become better friends lately with a girl who’s super smart/bright/funny…just moved here from Seattle…also a 100% gay teenager…no 2nd thoughts for her…has already had a couple of relationships…so my D is all, “can X spend friday night over here?” and part of me is Of course,i’m liberal…obama, he’s the best…and then part of me is uncomfortable. I mean, I wouldn’t have a straight male friend stay in her room overnight…what do you all think?</p>
<p>Straight and gay people have been college roommates for as long as college students have shared rooms.</p>
<p>My (straight) daughter’s best friend since third grade is gay. They have sleepovers often, but sex never. The likelihood that the friend will hit on your daughter is extremely minimal, and even if it were to happen, I’m sure she is perfectly capable of declining the offer graciously just as she might if a male made an advance she wasn’t interested in. </p>
<p>i hear you…I guess I see a big difference between going to movies/dinner/whatever with friends…and then bunking together for the night…yes, just like she does with her male straight friends, she could politely demur…i don’ t know…we live in a very gay urban area…many single-sex parents at our school…and its the norm for us…as I write this, I realize that i’m sounding like an idiot…but my hesitancy caught me by surprise…</p>
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<p>The risk of hanky panky with a male visitor involves the possibility of having to change diapers nine months later. That risk does not necessarily exist if there is hanky panky with a female visitor. 
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<p>Do you think your D is gay? </p>
<p>if your daughter is straight then having a lesbian spend the night is not the equivalent of having a straight male spend the night. if your daughter is straight then nothing will likely happen between the two of them. i am speaking as a bisexual teenager who spends the night with straight friends all the time. i see my friends as friends and nothing more. i think you are worrying for nothing.</p>
<p>And if the daughter is gay, the relationship could still remain as platonic friendship. </p>
<p>It’s a non-issue. </p>
<p>My daughters have several gay friends who are male spend the night. My daughter has a friend who is pan sexual (which I didn’t even know what that was till she told me) who regularly spends the night, and my girl with her. They have also been friends since 3rd grade. She has changed completely in the past 2 years from s very girly girl to someone who binds her chest and has a boy haircut. But to me…still the same wonderful person who offers to help with the groceries, cleans up without asking, and is the most polite person we have over. I feel my daughter is a pretty good judge of character. I also have a gay brother, who is married, has adopted children and we love them more than words can express. How hypocritical would it be for me to put assumptions on her friendships. And honestly… The kids are going to figure out what they are, the best thing to do is be supportive. I have told my daughters that they can have anyone over, but romantic relationships in high school are not for all nighters (or sex) till they go to college and I don’t know about it!</p>
<p>These are really great and thoughtful answers, you guys. And they give me a good path to follow…(also, moonpie, you and I sound like the same person…I have <em>exactly</em> the same attitude about romance/sex in high school… 
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