It could be that the woman is anti-abortion and the man wants to terminate the pregnancy. Obviously this example is not relevant to the progressive woman and conservative man divide that we have been discussing, but if we are just talking about differences among romantic partners in general, it is relevant. Though I suppose if the man is actually pro-choice, he would be supportive of whatever choices the woman makes including continuing with a non-viable pregnancy. I definitely know families that have fallen apart while experiencing infertility though --partly from stress and partly from very different values about what type of assisted reproduction is acceptable.
A serious question-do you wish you had remained single instead? You note you had many years together, kids, and were able to eventually figure out a way forward. So the differences were an obstacle but not a dealbreaker?
Itâs well beyond relation to taxes or role of the state or policy - some of it is fundamental values : no human is sub human. Thereâs no possible compromise wrt antisemitism, âgreat replacementâ, supremacism, etc. Most young people -even at evangelical colleges- recognize gay&lesbian couples as valid, no more sinful than straight ones, and thus will not readily accept a homophobic partner. And especially for women thereâs no possible acceptance that theyâre property/breeders/meant to shut up&obey. Thereâs also no going back to a culture where âsoftening upâ girls with alcohol in order to sexually assault them is seen as normal/a good joke (cf. some teen films/novels from the 70s, 80s, even 90sâŠ)
Imho the young men who are peddled the above as âconservatismâ are more likely to change than young women, especially when they realize many of the above beliefs arenât sustainable or things like the SAHG may not be an ideal partner (and that SAHGs arenât common).
That being said, conservatism has always evolved and changed: for instance, in the first half of the 20th century, it was uncommon for women to pursue higher education and female doctors/lawyers were almost unheard of. A conservative man wouldnât have considered a college educated woman for his wife. 50 years later that manâs grandson would have absolutely considered a âco-edâ acceptable, as long as she didnât take her college studies seriously. Etc. Whatâs unusual and un-conservative for a generation becomes amalgamated into the updated version of conservatism.
As a result, itâs quite possible the gap will shrink once young men manage to grapple with societyâs changes and find a way to change conservatism while redefining conservatism into something that accepts young womenâs rights and some social advances thus making themselves more acceptable. Theyâll still be conservative compared to the mainstream but their values will be more in sync with their age group. Also, if they realize acting like jerks wonât endear them to women (cf. The young men mentioned upthread).
Itâs quite possible the opposite happens, too. 
Right now GenZ and Millenials are different from previous generations in that they are not becoming more conservative as they age.
So, they may compromise on their vision for what the federal and state governments ought to do.
But basically, women donât have to marry racist/misogynistic jerks even if theyâre tall&rich.
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Most of the people I know who have been unhappily married or divorced would definitely choose being single over what theyâve gone through. The people I know who are single not by choice, with one exception (male) are otherwise happy and fulfilled (as much as any of us are). They might not have chosen that path but theyâre ok with it. They are mostly women though, as I said the one long term single man I know is not happy. This of course matches much of the research over the years that shows single women are generally happier and married men are generally happier (and healthier). Iâd also point out that doom and gloom youâd better settle for someone or youâll end up alone with your cats and miserable threats toward women have been around since at least the 80s. Werenât we told we were more likely to end up killed by a terrorist than married if we didnât marry by a certain age? I remember headlines - lots of them - to that effect. And that we were holding out for too much if we expected that man to have a college degree like we had. Yet here we all are sending our kids to college one way or another. Finally, I happen to actually know several women who chose to have children on their own. The kids and moms have all done well (or as well as any other families I know). Their kids are also mostly in college as well now. And contrary to a point made above one has told me she actually thinks it was much easier to parent her kids on her own since she wasnât distracted by her husband or the relationship and she didnât resent it when she ended up doing it all herself since thatâs what she signed up for. Donât know if everyone feels that way but she certainly did!
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A lot depends on how different the views are, which the survey did not address. You assume âconservativeâ in this context meant quite extreme social and political views.
It could also mean instead they support Mitt Romney or Liz Cheney, for example
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I agree. A lot depends on the candidate. If you have a fiscally conservative candidate with liberal social views, their message will resonate with the majority of independent voters - who I believe are the majority of Americans.
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Absolutely.
The problem is that these are not public faces of conservatism anymore at this point (even if they may be to older adults) and not what young people are likely to have encountered on TV, in speeches, on social media, or even through on campus orgs (YAF and TPUSA are as common as College Republicans or may have absorbed them) isnât Mitt Romney or Liz Cheney. The older GenZ were 16 in 2015: for them, conservatism= libertarians and MAGA⊠and we know who is the loudest.
Another issue: Educated âmoderateâ men voting for Republican candidates right now could be seen as supporting all sorts of policies denying womenâs rights even if they themselves do not support these policies directly or even care about them -and therefore becoming unacceptable themselves.
However thatâs also why Iâm hopeful young men will cause the definition of conservatism to change.
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I think it depends upon where you are. My kids know scores of decent local politicians who CC would describe as conservative. Probably most Democrats in Texas would be accurately described as conservative based on present national standards.
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Contrary to conventional wisdom, both H and I (especially H) have become more left leaning as we have aged. We both considered ourselves âmoderate Republicansâ when we met in the late '70âs, but back then the parties had similar views on social issues. As the Râs moved right in the '80âs , my views stayed the same but my political affiliation changed. Same for H, but he moved more slowly than I did.
What would have happened if one of us did not change? That would have been very hard on our marriage and depending on the degree, it likely would have resulted in a split.
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That sounds like a chicken and egg problem: how does a âmoderateâ young person influence the direction of the Republican Party without voting for Republican candidates? But if prospective partners rule out anyone who voted Republican, then whatâs the point? Better to be apathetic (and not declare your registration publicly) and then you end up with unappealing candidates in the general election. And you may just lie about who you voted for if askedâŠ
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For those who have the time and inclination, this may be of considerable interest, as it includes quite a bit on marriage and political ideology within the U.S.:
I doubt that. Even if 30% of young people identify as LBGTQ+ what about the 70% who donât - I donât think they are suddenly going to turn to same sex partners.
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This is exactly the case for us. We consider ourselves fortunate to have grown together in our views, rather than apart. He often finds it uncomfortable now to listen to his fraternity brothers when they get together. They have moved in the other direction politically. H still hangs with them, but he sometimes limits his exposure when they start discussing the state of the world.
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By not voting for them, so they lose in the general, hoping a more appealing choice will rise up for the following election and vote for that choice in the primary (or run themselves, though thatâs uncommon!)
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https://www.science.org/content/article/new-study-questions-trope-conservatives-are-happier-liberals
Thanks for posting. I read it. It basically says conservatives are not happy, they just think they are! Iâm not sure what the difference is, practically speaking!
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If I were to be single again, I would definitely rather stay single than partner with somebody of significantly opposing political views.
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But in most states that still means registering as Republican to vote in the primary. And judging by some in this thread, then having potential dates check out their registration and ghosting them. Seems like most 18-29 year olds (particularly the men!) would prefer to choose dating over controversial political involvements, as in the example @parentologist gave.
I asked my S about this and his reply was, to me, pretty interesting. He (and most of his friends) do not identify as D or R. Their belief is that, basically, Ds and Rs have royally screwed the place up. Now, if you ask about issues and policy you can get some discussion with no big alignment to D or R platforms. Also interesting - few are registered to vote and fewer (approaching zero) intend to vote.
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