As long as we are dealing with stereotypes, for some men it’s the Hot/Crazy matrix.
My wife is a redhead so I think I married into the Danger Zone.
Well, I am glad men have never objectified women in the past.
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Let me assure you: ideologically liberal men do not pull their weight domestically or materially any more than conservative ones.
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Or… a subset of both men and women have realized that they are content being single? That they don’t “need” or perhaps even want a long-term romantic partner or marriage? Maybe it will fluctuate throughout life and depending on circumstances?
My spouse and I have never presented long-term partnership and procreation as the default for our children. We’ve always said “IF” you have a partner, become a parent, etc. and have never specified gender. Our kids have yet to express an interest in dating. One has expressed an interest in parenting by adoption. Maybe it will come, maybe it won’t – it’s up to them!
Sure, a lot of people choose the conventional paths, but a lot of people don’t, for a host of reasons. Some people desperately want kids, some desperately don’t, others are ambivalent: there’s a spectrum. Same with long-term partnership.
I’m totally cool with people doing the traditional stuff if that’s what they both want. But there’s a ton of folks that don’t need or want that stuff, and lots of gray areas in the continuum of partnership and parenting.
I have a conservative religious friend in her 40s who has never been married, but would love to be. She has never wanted biological children, and is highly educated. I was recently helping her look through potential matches on dating apps. She dates men across the political spectrum and those with and without children. She’s not picky when it comes to politics, looks, height, and most stuff. But if she get a whiff of a man trying to control her or acting like a jerk? He’s out. She’s fine with being single, even though she’d like a husband. I think there’s a lot of women out there like her, regardless of political leanings.
I was chatting with a colleague of the opposite sex, who has been married a long time (like me). We agreed that we’ve both had a great run and if we found ourselves single, we wouldn’t pursue dating. If by happenstance, the right person came along? Okay. But otherwise, we’re cool alone! My spouse feels the same, and I know the data show a lot of women don’t bother with relationships when they find themselves single in middle age and beyond.
There’s a joke about older single men just looking for a “nurse or a purse”, i.e. someone to take care of them in any number of categories. Whereas the women are more likely to be content taking care of themselves. I am not surprised.
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Which may be why so many women are choosing to remain single…
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Oh man, ain’t that the truth. My spouse and I have a remarkably equal partnership (we’re ideologically liberal). We’ve been very proactive about it over our 2+ decades of marriage.
But some of our “liberal” friends? The men do a small fraction of the total work that the women do (when you sum paid and unpaid work). It’s a problem in many families. Fine if that’s what they’ve agreed on, but not fine if that wasn’t what was expected by both parties and they haven’t renegotiated accordingly.
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Y’all need to get off of social media. It’s not real life–as my kids tell me all the time.
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No argument here on that one!
Ha, I am not really on social media (I only have Facebook which I never post on and I have no other social media brands), but with my wife’s career (high school Chemistry teacher), she has everything to keep up with the latest trends of young people and shows me things from time to time…
Yeah my husband is a high school biology teacher but apparently his students aren’t as advanced as your wife’s if hers are looking for men making six figures.
I’m sure they see the Tik Toks. That doesn’t make it real.
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But you would be surprised how many young people believe that stuff and “parrot” it out into the world…. My wife told me about it because she heard a family friend’s young adult say that she was looking for 6 feet, 6 figures, and a 6 pack too and she showed me some Instagram reels. It doesn’t have to start out real to become real criteria, especially for young people. I laugh every time I hear it, because the women who say it are unlikely to get that kind of man with only 15% of men 6‘0” or taller, and 15% of men making 6 figures.
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- I don’t believe everything I see/read on social media.
- I’m sure the young men also have similar unrealistic criteria
- That may be who they ideally want (or say they do)but not who they ultimately date/partner with
- I keep thinking that had TikTok existed back in my college days (thank goodness it didn’t!), my friends and I would have been likely to post stuff like that as a joke (after a few beers). Just to see who believed it and which of us could make up the most ridiculous stuff. I have to think that might be what a lot of this is…thus see #1.
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There’s a correlation between height and income, but not necessarily for either with the six pack (I can see reasons for the opposite if you are too busy at your job to work out). Any idea what percentage of young men have a six pack (though I did note that several of S’s high school friends started going to the gym the summer before they left for college)?
I guess this set of criteria means competing for 1-3% of potential partners…and what share of those rare, in demand specimens will feel the need to attune their political beliefs to those of potential dates?
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I am single, and in 2016 when I was dating, a man’s response to the “grab her by the p*ssy” recording was an eye opening and very sad litmus test. It wasn’t that this was something that I asked as a pre-screening question! But in the weeks around that recording coming to light, people were talking about it. And if a man rolled his eyes and said: that’s just how guys talk…
Well, that’s it. I know a lot about the man’s view of the world and women.
I’m single and not dating currently, but 1000% if I did, I would be looking at everything, including a person’s political donations as a broad marker of their beliefs and attitudes, and how they feel people should be treated.
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As they say: don’t threaten me with a good time! 
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It’s nice that they were friends but there was never any way that either of them would have considered the other as a romantic/marriage partner.
Avoiding a potential relationship for political reasons probably falls into two categories.
For those that have interest in politics or feel that participation is important, it makes sense to seek out a person with similar beliefs. Kind of like my buddies in the 1990’s trying to find a girl that didn’t like country line dancing. Couldn’t imagine being dragged to such a thing. LOL
For others, avoiding someone of differing beliefs is rooted in arrogance and self-righteousness, so sparing the avoided person of such a relationship would be a blessing to them.
Or it’s rooted in wanting to enjoy life together with someone who values you and your beliefs.
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Women are waiting on a guy with a 6-pack? Margaret Cho, speaking about the Chippendales dancers, was the first to point out that there is no such thing as a straight man with visible abdominal muscles:
