Did your son do a PG year at a boarding school or a specific type of program for ND Kids?
While I agree with all of this, I also think that many parents don’t realize how much support their child receives in school (and often schools aren’t transparent about it) and that once they are at college, no one is going to advocate for your kid or chase your kid down for homework. For the most part, they are not going to accept late work or make up extra credit assignments so that you pass. They might not be able to boost their grade through participation. And they certainly aren’t going to pass you just because you’re a nice kid. Getting help often isn’t as easy as just staying after school and most professors aren’t going to check in with you during class to make sure you’re “getting it”. Your grades may all be based on tests or papers and not accumulating points for turning in homework. There is a college for everyone, but be honest with yourself about your kid’s abilities.
Perhaps starting at a community college to shore up some skills so that they don’t have to take remedial writing and math classes before being allowed to register for needed classes would be beneficial. Looking at schools that let you live on campus without taking a full 15+ credit course load is also an option for kids with anxiety or EF issues.
Also, a huge red flag I’ve seen with kids or friends who came home after a semester or two was that the application process was driven by the parent rather than the kid. If your kid isn’t invested enough in the process to do the majority of the work themselves (and ask for help with what they can’t), then they are probably not ready to go. That doesn’t mean it won’t happen. They are just on a different timeline. While it’s often a blow to parents and their expectations, respecting this timeline is better for everyone in the long run.
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My son reclassed and did 2 years at regular boarding school - but one that was very structured and supportive of a wider range of students. The extra year in combination with the school made a difference - a lot of maturity from 18-19.
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My kid didn’t reclass, but I believe much of his success in college is due to learning to advocate for himself at boarding school and doing it with confidence. It’s too small of a community to be able to hide. But, I also realize that we were very fortunate to be able to provide that opportunity and that it’s just not a reality for many people.
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There is a huge industry of “gap year” programs, gap year advisors, gap year fairs, etc. There’s also a gap year association. Programs range from language programs in Europe, cultural/art programs in Ireland, to all manner of outdoor experiences in Central and South America and all across the US. I was so surprised to learn about all of this when we started exploring options for my kid.
Most of them don’t specifically offer specialized support for specials needs, so if someone had a child that needed very specific supports, it would be good to carefully investigate. But, for a young person with ADHD who may just need more time to mature and develop and would benefit from testing their wings and learning life skills in an environment where a mistake won’t cause them to flunk out or severely damage their future, many of these programs can be fantastic options.
But how much do these programs cost? I thought they were at least $20,000.
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This should be pinned as a stand-alone post.
There are parents who insist “my kid isn’t getting support at school”-- but the teachers would tell a different tale. Even a kid who is not getting official accommodations but who is cooperative, fun, adds a dimension to class discussions, is likely getting a fat finger on the scale.
That finger really doesn’t exist- even at colleges which seem warm and friendly and cozy and easy to navigate for a kid with ADHD. If a professor announces after class “please come see me during office hours with an outline or early draft of your research paper; I’m happy to walk through it with you before you get too far along” that might seem to work well for your kid who has EF issues and gets easily derailed with complex tasks, right?
Well, that generally means the professor won’t accept late work (“but I realized halfway through that my topic was bad so I had to switch”), and most critically- will NOT ping your kid to say “Hey, the entire class has come to review their outline with me, you have not, don’t you want to come see me for help?”. The announcement IS the accommodation. And if everyone else is getting a fresh pair of eyes early on to make sure the work is on track, and your kid is planning to wing it at the last minute…
Agree 100% with Lizard about the red flag. Kids who head off to the college the parents picked after meticulous research because “it’s what you do”. Kids not ready to own their education; kids needing the constant nudging and cleaning out of the backpack and parents providing the quiet room for studying. Then kid gets to the dorm where it’s a constant party (except 5-11 am which is reserved for sleeping; those pesky 9 am lectures be damned).
Not sure where you’re getting the $20,000 figure from? There is no way to generalize on cost, given the extreme variety of programs. A huge factor is the duration of a program - a month-long program will generally be much cheaper than a nine month program. for obvious reasons. If you google “USA gap year fairs” you’ll find a website that 1) lists upcoming gap year fairs, and 2) contains a drop down menu that contains many gap year program options. From there you can look at prices and costs of different programs.
Candidly, my child’s experience was for about 8 months and the cost was around $12,000, plus the cost of monthly rent (approximately $600/month). However, part of their program was a paid internship and they could also get a part-time job, which they did, so that defrayed a portion of the expenses. Still - it wasn’t cheap and we were obviously very lucky to be able to provide that experience. Many programs do offer scholarships, so families who are reading this and interested but would need financial help could check into those options.
I will make one more comment on the price, which is that it was far far less than the cost of one year of college, and we think has made a huge difference in the quality of our kids’ college experience (and outcomes from that experience). Economically, it will probably turn out to be an advantageous investment, given that better academic performance will likely lead to better job prospects down the road. But, again, I recognize we were quite fortunate to be able to provide this opportunity.
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It is both less than a year at college AND more “educationally enhancing” than having the kid come home deflated- looking for a job, any job, while he/she resets and figures out Plan B.
Not affordable for everyone, but kudos to you guys for making it work.
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I understand that there are benefits to gap years and gap year programs, especially with increasing maturity, a more solid start to college, improved self-esteem, etc. It’s great that there are families who are willing and able to afford them. But there is an array of people who post (and even more who lurk) and for some of them, paying about $17k for a gap program could be the difference between paying for 3 years of college or 4 years of college (if they can even afford paying that much for a year…many posters come on with EFCs of near $0).
I think it’s great to offer suggestions of programs that our families have found beneficial or that have potential, but I also think it’s good if we can be mindful of suggesting an array of options for people who have differing budgets, particularly since the paid programs tend to be easier to find than the free/low-cost ones.
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Totally agree! I was trying to convey (likely poorly) that there is a lot of flexibility that comes with taking a gap year, and students can do longer or shorter programs, which come with a wide range of price tags. My kid did a longer program where they were able to earn money to defray a chunk of the cost (essentially they worked two part-time jobs while away, plus they stayed in their summer job through October so earned some additional money that way). However, a family that needed to spend less (or nothing) could find a shorter program/experience that occurred in the spring of the gap year, and the young adult could work full time all fall. At $15/hour, for 40 hours/week, that could be $8000-$10000 that could be used to fund a spring experience of some duration, and perhaps come out a bit ahead with some extra money to use towards school.
As an additional option, there’s also a company called Adventure EXP that helps place 18 years and up with jobs and lodging in various parts of the country - a really cool idea for a student who wanted to take a year or a semester off prior to starting school.
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I just attended two virtual zoom sessions hosted by DU (University of Denver) by their Student Disability Services (SDS) office and their LEP (Learning Effectiveness Program) and was very impressed with the resources (free and paid) available for neurodiverse students.
The Student Disability Services office works with the incoming students in the summer to submit documentation (504, doctors diagnosis etc) to get the accommodations approved before the student starts school.
The LEP program is a paid program at DU that offers executive function coaching, tutoring in every subject, activities, counseling, career and internship guidance. The parents that I have spoken to with students in the program recommend it very highly. The cost is about $1500/quarter or $4500/for the whole year. There are need-based grants for the program.
Many colleges offer similar programs, but I thought that DU did a great job of reaching out to all admitted students early in the process to let them know of these resources.
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Thin air! (It was an educated guess)
I’m a huge fan of Elizabeth Hamblet’s book: 7 steps to College Success: A Pathway for Students with Disabilities. Her website also has a lot of great information: https://ldadvisory.com/.
Our family has a lot of ADHD diagnoses. Oldest kid is thriving in a small LAC. Second kid is headed off to another LAC in August. Both realized they needed small class sizes. One didn’t want a school with a lot of required classes outside of their major and the other was ok with that. Both are strong readers and writers. However, the search for Kid No. 3 will probably not include reading and writing intensive LAC’s so we will have a different college search for that one.
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I also know a number of students whose gap year consisted of working and volunteering and exploring future college opportunities, at no cost at all. And others who combined that with travel, using wages from the aforementioned “working”. Many students just need a break before college where they are learning and growing without the restrictions of an academic setting.
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A gap year might be a good idea for my ND ‘26 grad, if things don’t improve quickly enough and a break seems needed.
Does anyone know if taking a year off to work/volunteer/grow negatively impacts acceptances to privates and selective publics, ability to get merit, etc.? Or are they considered on same footing as current seniors with similar stats?
And is it difficult to apply to school when you’re not currently in school?
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S23 went to private middle school/boarding high school but maintained relationships with his friends in town because of a summer sport (I think more than half his team has ADHD). His feelings are that most of his friends would benefit from a gap year because they weren’t exposed to enough career exploration or experiential classes. As kids who found sports to be the best part of their day, many jumped at attending college as a way to continue 4 more years of sports before having a job. The extent of exploring majors was to go down the list of the majors offered at whatever school they’d be playing for and pick something that sounded good. No surprise, most are majoring in sports management, exercise science or athletic training. These are kids I know very well and, unfortunately, I am not anticipating a high graduation rate.
A job, job shadowing or just taking the time to talk to people in a variety of professions can be a very beneficial gap year. As can volunteering, reading, and engaging in hobbies. It’s as important to know what you don’t like or aren’t suited for as what you do like. There are some really cool professions out there that most people don’t even know exist. Not only does a year outside of formal education give them time to explore, grow and mature in ways they were unable to do while navigating a full-time high school schedule and all that goes along with it, but they might also find a true passion. Kids who struggled in high school often do much better in college once they are passionate about what they are learning.
I was surprised that all 3 of S23’s suitemates took a gap year. All of their gap years looked different. One traveled, one moved to another state and got a full-time job, and one worked on “adulting”. They all seem passionate about their major and are all doing very well.
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I’m sure others who have been through it can be of more help, but there seems to be two ways to apply.
One is to apply and get accepted, then take a gap year before starting. This is an easier process as you will be on the expected track with guidance counselors, teacher recs, having transcripts sent, etc. The second is to take a gap year and then apply. This is a good choice for kids who need to beef up their application. (And is also the track of a few kids we know that were able to get in-state tuition by moving to another state for their gap year).
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(sorry in advance, after I posted this I realized how long it was!) I have a few questions (and just to give context my son has ADHD which does cause some issues but most of his accommodations are related to LD that arose in connection with his ADHD- he has a language disorder and pretty much non-existent working memory. So accommodations he currently gets is extended time, a separate testing environment, the ability to ask for clarifying questions if questions are worded in a confusing manner, written instructions, not just verbal- which some teachers take to mean written on the board in a corner, sigh, class notes. In all cases teachers are not required to do anything additional (other than the written directions rather than verbal- posting the assignment, email). So if they have notes, they provide them, if they don’t then they don’t.
I saw schools can require a current neuropsych evaluation and I am getting nervous. We had him privately tested - requested 9th grade, finally got an appointment very end of 9th grade and results came in 10th grade. Many tests before through the school but this was a fancy private one. On the waitlist for one now but just worried based on previous experience that by the time he gets off the waitlist, gets the testing and the written report we will be well into freshman year.
I have seen some unique accommodations for college that never would have occurred to me, like requesting that tests be given during the day (earlier than 6pm) because medication wears off, a single room- which I don’t know that we would want, etc.
Are there other helpful accommodations that would be helpful to think about? A friend who is a language disorder specialist went through his records with me last week and suggested that we request help registering for smaller classes when available which yes, would be amazing but I can’t imagine that being ok. I am also used to having to fight for 4 months to get a teacher to agree to just post assignments in google classroom in line with his IEP so I don’t have super high expectations.
I also should mention that I teach higher ed but I teach graduate school and none of this is handled at the faculty level and has not been at the two institutions I have been at. The office of disability services handles exam administration, extra time etc. They handle finding another student to take notes. I record all of my lectures for students because I want them to learn- and if they learn by listening to me 10 times in a row they should go for it, so the undergrad perspective is a little different.
I would never ask a student what accommodations they need, and would bend over backwards for anything a student did ask, but specific requests to me are made maybe once every two years.
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