I would have zero guilt in your situation. My husband doesn’t ski, and has no interest. So - I would do a ski week with a friend, and we were both happy. As long as you offer your husband “first right of refusal” then go for whatever you want regarding kids and other family, or any trip really. No reason to suffer yourself because he isn’t interested.
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I don’t understand the guilt at all! Why the guilt? Your husband said he doesn’t want to go – no need to feel bad with regards to him! Are you feeling guilty because you are going to enjoy yourself without him? Forget about that! You are allowed to do something you want, and love it, even if your husband doesn’t.
I remember you writing about wanting to see your kids more, so I think this trip is fantastic! What about planning a trip to see one or both of the kids every three months? Just an idea 
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I would go and not feel guilty.
My dad traveled a lot for work. My mother would frequently visit without my dad. They were ok with that.
My MIL wouldn’t travel without FIL. She dreamed of going to Italy and he didn’t want to go. So she never went. FIL was a laid back guy and I’m sure he would not have minded if she went without him.
I enjoy travel more than H does. I like traveling with him, but I have traveled with my D, my sister, friends and by myself. He doesn’t mind.
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My last two big vacations were without my husband. I did a week in Munich at Christmas with my daughter and a week in Arizona with a friend. He was not interested in going on either trip. I don’t feel guilty at all. I would go as often as I wanted to see the kids and not worry about feeling guilty.
I just met with a friend who is trying to figure out travelling by herself. Her husband is no longer interested in travelling, and she is looking for a group or friends to travel with. No guilt, since the husband is not interested in going and it not stopping her from going.
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Don’t feel guilty about traveling alone. In fact, when you go to visit kids it may be easier on them to have a single guest.
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I don’t know why I feel guilty. Maybe it’s because I’m flying and not driving? Spending the money to fly? Even though he doesn’t want to?
We each spend money on things that the other doesn’t. I don’t think twice about his hobbies.
Thanks, I appreciate all the input! I think I was feeling bad because our parents never went without each other, after they retired. My friends don’t either.
I think everyone will be happier this way. My husband and I will be. He likes his stuff and his house and while he’s not grumpy, he’s uncomfortable not being home. It’s hard for all of us.
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I don’t need/want to live how my parents did and I hope my kids do what’s right for them and their partner if they have it, not follow H and I. We are all different people with different wants and desires - including staying put and not traveling!
H also is not interested in travel beyond a one week family vacation with our 3 and spouses that we take. I mean, we had to convince him to do that! I don’t travel a ton but I don’t hesitate - and he does not mind - if I do decide to take a trip whether it’s 2 hours away or 2000 miles away.
I will add though that there are many parts of our life/day that we do things separately - LOTS. So it’s not unusual for either of us to take our our route.
Who knows, maybe when you come back with fun stories of your trip he will wish he was there and be more open to other trips to see the kids or your mom.
I very much don’t want to have to worry about someone who doesn’t want to do an activity/trip if they are forced to go. You’re both adults - talk it though, give and take the blessing and enjoy the trip!
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Before H retired and we were both working, I took many trips without him because he couldn’t get away and I needed to attend conferences, health fairs and other events. Since he’s been retired, we have been traveling together. It helps us both to travel together—I keep track of things and he helps me with my luggage. If one of us decided we wanted to stay home and the other wanted to go, I think it would be fine with both of us that the one that wanted to go would be happy to go, guilt-free and the other happy to stay and do whatever s/he chose to do (including spending money dining out and whatever). Travel can cost extra, but so can staying home and dining out or going out with friends & others locally.
Actually, I believe it is pretty likely that I may want to travel longer than H does. He is 15 years older than me and if he doesn’t want to accompany me, I may travel with my siblings, friends, or kids. I may also travel alone. We always are happy to do things together or apart, whichever suits our preferences (though we often like to do things together).
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The last several trips to see kids we did independently. We each flew. My parents would never have flown alone. Times have changed.
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I do think people in prior generations were less likely to travel alone. Especially the women.
Times have changed.
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I traveled a lot more alone back when H was busy with his crazy hours at work and the kids were off at college. It was part of my responsibilities for my nonprofit and he has traveled for work a lot. We would always try to fit some fun into our trips as well and neither of us begrudged the other traveling (or staying home). I think folks are a LOT more flexible these days. My S travels without his spouse and she travels w/o him when they choose. They also enjoy traveling together. They seem pretty content with making plans that suit them.
My mom invariably traveled with my dad or not at all. Dad took a LOT of business trips w/o her—she was stuck at home with us kids. She did go to the orient w/o dad once with her sisters and we stayed with my paternal grandparents. Once we all went off to college, mom & dad traveled a ton together.
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I think I will come back and he will feel relieved that he didn’t have to do whatever I did!
I also plan on doing all the things and eat all the food that he doesn’t like. 
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I think this is it. My friends are also older than I am.
I also think that my husband has a little bit of we traveled to see our parents, I don’t understand why my children don’t feel that they should do the same.
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Agree. My MIL absolutely will not go anywhere without my FIL and has to accompany him on trips to see his family (2nd marriage for both), even though she does not get along with his adult kids and is miserable on those trips. I don’t get it, but she claims she doesn’t want to be alone while he is gone.
I would rather travel without my DH. He is a bad traveler and complains about everything, which s@cks the life out of any enjoyment I may have. We usually take one or two trips together to places we’ve been before (this way I can circumvent the complaints) and then I travel elsewhere with friends. No Guilt. I encourage him to do the same. He goes by himself to golf outings, fraternity reunions and to snowmobile.
I really want to go back to Europe but I don’t think DH would do well there (long flight, late dinners, less modern conveniences, etc.) He had no desire to come with me when I went to visit D2 on her study abroad (but he gave me his blessing to go, which I appreciated). I plan to return with friends or with my kids.
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While I wouldn’t exactly say my husband is a pain while traveling, I would say that I’m always a bit on edge about his comfort. He has a fused neck and it’s hard to be physically comfortable at times. It’s hard to sit in a chair that doesn’t have a high back, it’s hard to turn his head to talk to the person next to him. He’s also pretty introverted so a lot of noise will make him turn in to himself and will play games in his phone.
He’s already complaining about the 2 week European cruise I’ve booked for the fall. Because he doesn’t want to be gone from home for so long. I told him that it’s expensive to fly to Europe for a week, we should experience more. If he hates it, I’ll do a week next time. He will be fine and once he’s there, it’s all good. It’s the anticipation that is the problem. We don’t have pets except for fish, they can be alone for 2 1/2 weeks.
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I grew up in the foreign service and there were a number of times when my mother went back to see her family (at least once for a funeral) where my Dad couldn’t leave his job. He also did a lot of traveling without her, which I can see from endless photos of him cutting ribbons for schools and hospitals. My Mom also came and helped out for every single one of her grandchildren and left my Dad behind. He usually showed up a week or two later for a few days. It was funny both my SIL’s preferred her to their own mothers who brought too much drama with them!
I rarely travel without my husband mostly just for reunions, but a few times I spent a week or so with one or the other of my SILs and had a great time. We traded off babysitting, and I took a week-long art workshop once. I have been toying with art workshops again.
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With cellphone communication and apps, I think traveling solo is easier.
This is true for air travel as well as driving. (I well remember our vacations where Dad drove and mom kept busy with the maps as the navigator and lists/notes as the planner). Certainly I feel more secure knowing it’s easy to reach out to my cellphone for info or support from family.
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And directions, if you are driving!
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Yep. Though I will admit that rental cars have gotten more confusing. LOL - I had to talk a friend through her concerns about a car that “stalled at red lights” (it was just going into eco mode, auto restarting with gas pedal).
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This is true in many ways. When I drive out of town I always use Maps to get me where I’m going and I always share my trip/ETA with my husband (and kids if they are who I’m traveling to) - it gives him live time info as to where I am and then he knows when I get there - and the kids know when to expect me based on my location and ETA! And it makes me feel more secure about any complications I may have while traveling.
I mean, unless you don’t want your location known!
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