I’m not sure why you feel any guilt at all, honestly. If your H doesn’t want to travel then you’re not hurting his feelings by going solo, and in fact he’d probably be thrilled that you’re not trying to talk him into accompanying you!
I don’t do it as much anymore, but when I was younger (but still married) I’d make the most of my semi-frequent business travel by running around whatever city I was in. I’d go to the zoo, see local attractions, search out the best restaurants, etc. W was perfectly fine with it, and it made my trips a lot more fun. And now when W travels with her girl posse, I happily wave goodbye and spend the entire time on the couch in quiet bliss eating junk food and ordering postmates.
I say book the flights, safe travels and godspeed!
I wasn’t understanding why you felt guilty, seems like you’re visiting for the both of you, maybe he should feel guilty. But you explained it as far as buying an airline ticket, though I’d think of it more as what you’re saving by buying only one ticket instead of two.
And if you stick to the same airline, there’s ways to do it cheaply. I fly Delta and get Delta Amex cards with big signup bonuses. Fly places free all the time. Just keep checking the prices for tickets, be flexible and you can fly cheaply.
I’m sure your husband would consider it a win if you go visit for the two of you and he doesn’t have to go.
@deb922, I do a couple of trips a year now to go see family (they are scattered and the nieblings are having kids, which presents its own challenges) and my dear friends in Toledo and Pittsburgh. It’s nice to see them in their native habitat and not when we’re all crammed into my dad’s house. Along the way I stop at quilt shops, antique malls, and towns with murals. I don’t buy much, but I see things H has no interest in. When he was traveling overseas for work, he’d add on a couple days and so he was enthusiastic about me hitting the road solo as well.
I felt guilty the first time, but H clearly relished having the house to himself, getting takeout and watching movies, and I had a great time wandering the back roads, so now I have zero guilt.
We travel really well together, and on our big trips, now try to take a half day or two to each go see things that person likes (though for H, it is often a long afternoon nap and chilling out). I go hit gardens, craft museums and the Jewish quarter if we are overseas.
I’m the (single) one who asked my friend if her husband minded that she travels with me or if he’d prefer to go with him. She said NO, he likes it when she’s gone. They do travel together a few times per year, but she wants to go more often. His 102 year old mother lives next door so whenever they do travel together it takes a Marshall Plan to pull it off with getting a house sitter who is willing to check on the mother daily (and feed the feral cat), her regular caregivers taking on extra shifts and a nephew and his wife making extra visits.
I think he’d also struggle health wise to take more trips per year. They usually do a 2 week trip each year but can take an extra travel day each way because he can’t do an overnight flight or fly for too many hours. On OUR recent trip, I did 8 days and she stayed longer to do 11. I guess I’m more like the husband and too old to travel endlessly.
My 90 YO mom lives on the east coast while we’re on the west coast. Her traveling days are over. I visit her two or three times a year. H usually comes when we get all my siblings together with Mom at a huge vacation rental near her independent living facility. We found a great place on a lake that everyone likes so always rent the same house. We’ve done this every year for the last four years and have it booked for a week this summer.
When I go on my own the dynamics are different. I always have an agreed upon goal (refreshing her balcony plants, decluttering, etc.) but we also have a lot of downtime. That would make H crazy. He has to keep moving.
ShawWife and I love to travel together but we also travel apart. No guilt. I don’t think you need to feel guilty. It shounds like your husband has a very understandable reason why travel is uncomfortable.
We are heading to the West Coast to spend a weekend with ShawSon and wife. I’m going to find a nice restaurant for Saturday night dinner.
I am not trying to make this post political, but with the huge market drop and the craziness that seems to be happening to random people traveling, I am kind of worried about doing much travel, especially out of country travel. We do have 2 trips already planned, and we don’t plan to cancel them, but I don’t think we will plan additional out of country trips in the next several months. We likely won’t plan many “expensive” trips either, until we see where the market winds up in the near future.
Unless we start to see big price drops on travel, I see it the same way.
Our cruise for the fall is paid for, airfare is paid. The only expenses will be what we decide to do while there and a very few meals. I won’t cancel but I’m not looking for any other trips.
I also think flights and trips (such as guided tours and cruises) are very expensive. I think that many are going to share our feelings.
We are doing exactly as you are. A european river cruise in October was paid for last year but won’t plan another out of country until we see where the markets go. We will probably make multiple drives to Hilton Head and just relax on the beach, ride bikes, and eat!
We’ve been doing one big international trip per year. This year we weren’t able to do it in Spring as usual, and now we’re probably just going to hold off indefinitely. Our investments have taken a beating which seems likely to continue, so it feels wise to hoard our cash for now especially as down markets usually precede layoffs.
We have already paid for our airfare for summer travel to a family reunion in Scotland and Paris. H also paid for the rental car this week. We have our hotels booked, but not paid for in case we need to cancel for some reason. This will be our only international trip this year. Like others we will probably do more travel here in the states in the near future. H and I are still working so our travel money comes from salaries. I am happy that at this point we don’t have to withdraw from our 401k’s with all of the current market volatility.
We have a fair amount of travel already booked, and just booked flights to a wedding we are going to in NY in the late summer b/c the fares kept climbing (shoulda booked instead of waiting for friends to decide what flights they want to take). Might hold off on the Portugal trip since we were ambivalent anyway.
You people are making me think I should book our airfare to Grand Cayman for next winter now. I was thinking I’d wait to see what SW fares looked like, but I’m going to check other options.
I too am taking a beating in the market. Even thought it’s not real losses it still feels really bad to “lose” that much that quickly.
Since I am in a hub and like to get my automatic upgrades and also fly direct, I am pretty stuck with Delta. When is SW starting to charge for bags and offering seat assignments?
H and I are taking our daughters plus their significant others (SIL& BF) to France in October. The villa is paid for, but we haven’t yet booked our flights. The kids are paying for their own flights, but we may contribute if prices go way up.
I had a nice chat with a Delta agent today. He said their site has been busy today (people probably grabbing flights before possible increases). But my theory is that, like many here have said about their travel plans, they will take what is already booked, but they will hold off on booking additional flights/making additional travel plans due to the current $ circumstances. That could lead so some flash sales later in the spring if airline tix sales drop.
We have an Alaska cruise in a couple of months that is bought and paid for. Starts in Vancouver. In the fall we have a trip to Nova Scotia booked, and frankly, I am looking forward to spreading some of our $$$ in Canada.