I do get not wanting to be away from Seattle in the summer. I live in Minneapolis and keep summer travel to a minimum ( this past week being unusual). OTOH -January through March - I’m ready to go!
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I HATE to travel. I want to be in my house with my things. I’m never bored. I don’t like to do a lot of things. And being in one room DRIVES ME BONKERS! I need to be able to get up and go to another room first thing in the morning or even in the middle of the night.
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I think as long as the spouse is healthy and able to care for himself while you are away, there’s no issue with traveling without him (agree that if he “feels bad” about not seeing his kids, it’s on him). If he needs some care, of course someone has to arrange the care that is needed but still one COULD travel. We are figuring this out, because right now H is not interested in travel until we sort out his varied medical issues and I completely understand. He needs a scribe and someone to remind him because his memory is pretty unreliable. Hopefully he will be able to get to a healthier and less unpredictable place in the near future. We have a lot of healthcare professionals helping us sort things out.
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I’m not reading any room here and while I support solo travel (without your significant other) I think it’s easy for some to say “go do your own trip!”, that might not fly in some households/relationships OR it could be that one person really WANTS to do their traveling with their significant other because they are their person and who they want/hope to see new places with! But unfortunately that S.O. does not want to go!
While the best scenario would be that the person who wants to travel gets to do it and the person who wants to stay home doesn’t have to leave their recliner, it may take some frame of mind change to get there!
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Travel by myself isn’t exactly what I imagined retirement would look like.
I think H and I have different ideas of what that means.
He considers any travel to be TRAVELING. I think that it’s not hard to plan a trip once a year for pleasure. I do want to visit our children but that’s different to me than a trip.
It doesn’t help that our children have no interest in coming to our area of the country. Travel to us is not a priority for them. I know that grates on the H because he hopes that it could be somewhat reciprocal. Our son and family have not been here since they had our granddaughter, who is 4 1/2. Our D came last year for H’s milestone birthday where I rented a lakeside house for a long weekend. Our son’s family wouldn’t even do that.
Anyways lots of factors involved including both of us losing a parent this year. Which I think is contributing to me wanting to explore. He’s been going to his mother more which contributes to his feelings of not being home.
Thanks for the conversation. I’m not sure there are easy answers but this allows me to put into writing how I’ve been feeling
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Wait! There’s someplace nicer than Maine? I’m not buying it.
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I’m still waiting for the CC-organized (by someone else) heavy on food-moderate hiking-light sightseeing trip for the interesting, fun, smart, “dressed young” women (maybe we’d allow a few men??) trip to sign up for. 
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I think there might be ways to get him to travel. There’s got to be another option besides just sucking it up. And travel doesn’t get more likely as you get older, that’s for sure. You know you can’t post something on this forum without getting unwanted advice, so… 
There are some things you might try before giving up. Some version of these have been useful to me over the years. Wait till he’s in a good mood (after a glass or two of wine?) and let him know that you guys are going to go on a great vacation once a year before you get too old, and you’re starting a list of options. Make sure the list doesn’t conflict with an event he wants to be at, or a time of year he really wants to be home. Maybe choose a time of year it’s good to be away from home. Make sure it’s not too long, and not right around the corner.
Perhaps come up with trips that one or both of your kids would be interested in doing with you. If the parent is paying, kids will often jump on a great vacation. Or make it just the two of you.
Then start a list with trips that are really appealing. A Viking River cruise, some small luxury boat. Is he a Lord of the Rings fan? Tour to New Zealand. Golfing trip to Scotland. Make sure these places are intriguing to him and that there are plenty of choices. If it’s not right around the corner, it’s easier to commit.
Or you can go the route my dear friend did. Couldn’t get her husband to travel (because why go anywhere when you can just see it on tv?)and after her sister told her about yet another great trip she was going on, it brought her to tears. Her husband saw the despair, and now they’re going with her sister and husband on that great trip.
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That sounds nice but we’ve had these conversations before.
Our children have no interest in traveling with us. One feels travel is too difficult with a child. and the other has a lot of disposable income. There are no days allocated to parent travel. They travel with friends or as a couple.
Getting the kids to take one day off to meet for Christmas was quite the negotiation. I have rented a Airbnb between the kids but far from me.
There aren’t really any solutions to this. It was a vent. Which I will get through. I mostly wanted to know if others feel the way my H does and there are.
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We do one “real” vacation a year and it’s coming up. With the kids and their S.O.’s. H will go on this one and only this annual one.
But when we arrive at the AIRBNB the first thing he does is find where he can create his “eBay command center” - he has an eBay business in retirement and it commands of his time and he apparently sees no reason
to change that even on vacation!! 
Last year when we arrived he realized he forgot his laptop charger cord - we spend a few hours one day tracking down a spot in rural Canada without Amazon to secure him one and it was not a pleasant time for any of us!
So sometimes you gotta complain and sometimes you gotta admit “it is what it is!”
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Leaving tomorrow for direct flight to St. Thomas USVI for my grandnephew’s christening. Just me–no one else to worry about.
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My husband is not as interested in traveling as I am. I do trips with my grown up daughter and also with "the girls”, friends who are interested in going to the same places I am.
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@deb922 , thank you for sharing that. I too am married to someone who is more wedded to home than I am. Leaving home for any reason, whether a fabulous vacation or an obligatory trip to a relative, is at some level anxiety-producing. There is tolerance for only so much of that. For some time, I wondered if it came from not doing it “enough” so that the unfamiliarity - of packing, airports, etc. - was the source of the stress, but time is suggesting that this probably isn’t the driver. I do sometimes travel without him, because that is less stressful for him than the uprooting, but at some point while I am away, he starts feeling at a loss without me. And the stress of being away is enough that going somewhere for a month or two is increasingly a non-starter.
My appetite for novelty, my ability to deal with things going we wrong, and my interest in more physically demanding and immersive trips simply don’t match his.
It IS challenging because at our age, I am deeply aware that these days - when we have resources, health, and energy – are not eternal. That is its own stress and frustration for me. All to say, I think I hear you and am sending a virtual hug…
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I was just thinking that he would love a Viking cruise (or any river cruise probably) - they just take care of you! No packing and unpacking (hopefully but if you do o Viking it’s easy) and slow go excursions or not, you have your choice. Some folks decide to stay on the ship and just relax in the lounge, eat, play cards walk around. There are absolutely no obligations to do anything. You are NOT exhausted coming back from a river cruise, except for airport travel. Oh and by the way you can split your excursions, you are not tied to doing what your travel partner is doing.
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Totally agree. And there are other similar small ship cruiselines that would be lovely too, as Viking always seems to be sold out. Avalon, AMA Waterways, Scenic. And most of the cruises start from major cities, so sometimes you can get a direct flight.
My sister claims to hate to travel, though she occasionally does to see family. Her husband really wants to. Whenever we go on a trip or talk about somewhere we want to go, she researches it. She got excited watching those Viking videos, but then got scared, I think. She’s so ready to do it, but when me or her kids push her towards it, she refuses. I guess it’s just safer to stay at home, which makes me sad.
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We’ve done 2 Viking river cruises and 1 ocean.
They do take care of most everything if you want them to. I even upgraded our flights on our last cruise. That’s the one he said was too long and I knew that. It was 2 days longer than the last river cruise. Since I arranged all the excursions, flights and packing, all he had to do was drive to the airport.
Told me the travel to Europe was exhausting. Which is why I booked a 2 week cruise. Because it’s a lot of travel to get there.
He likes Europe and has enjoyed where we’ve been. When I tried to book another for 2027, he told me that we just went. To do trips, you just can’t decide to go next week!
I don’t have others to travel with that I think I would enjoy. My kids are not interested. Like I said, it was a vent.
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I’m glad that you are still finding a way to do some travel on your own. I’ve seen some women accepting that they’ll never be able to do what they want until their husband dies, and that doesn’t always work out so well. My MIL always desperately wanted to travel…seemed the only places my FIL would go were to visit family or to his military reunions, and by the time he died, she was too elderly and immobile to travel. I did talk them into going to France and on a Med cruise once. He only did it because I asked, and they seemed to have a wonderful time.
I think every now and then, we have to stop putting everyone else’s needs before our own—kids, spouse, parents, in-laws, dogs, cats, and do something for ourselves. Once in a blue moon, you know.
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I know you’re venting, but honestly, I think he’s giving you something to work with.
I wonder what he would say if you addressed those concerns. 2027 is a long ways off, and you do have to book those Viking trips in advance for the most part.
My husband is a high maintenance traveler. He gets tired and stressed about little things, which bemuses me, after 37 years as an airline/military pilot. Who cares? He’s just sitting in the back, not flying the airplane and making decisions. But I find a way to make it easy. Direct flights if possible, not getting up early, no tight connections, avoid connecting at certain airports, fly Delta, spend a night along the way if something looks ugly, no rushing, keep checking for the upgrade offer online and book comfort class at the bare minimum. There is a way to answer his complaint of travel being exhausting. It can (almost) be a pleasure.
He doesn’t like a 2 week cruise, how about a 7 day one? I wouldn’t like a 2 week cruise either. Easy travel, shorter cruise, I wonder if he would give it closer consideration
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@deb922 was your husband always like this about travel? It is possible that he is afraid that something might happen to his elderly mother when you are away and he will not be available to help immediately.
Hugs. It is hard when your life partner has a different opinion about something you are very much interested in.
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That’s a good point.
His dad passed away while we were on our most recent trip. My fil was doing ok when we left so we went. H was complaining about the length before we left. I haven’t talked about another trip because our priorities were this remodeling we would like to do.
His mom fell while we were at our son’s house. My mom went into the hospital as we were leaving her place to visit our son.
It’s been quite a year. He hasn’t been much of a traveler ever but I chalked that up to financial and time constraints. I think I’m coming to the realization that when he said to wait until he retired, he didn’t actually mean even a trip a year. Just that he would be ok to see the kids more. Which even that doesn’t seem to be that much since they are busy.
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