@Boxcar101 , it is not my goal to “shut down” the conversation. It is my goal to have a meaningful conversation.
I’ve had thousands of these type of conversations. I’ve seen many be sidetracked from discussing a clear and present injustice, to justifying the malignant act, to blaming the victim, to saying, yes, that “statistics prove” this or that.
I’m not saying every person who deflects the conversation in that manner does so with ill intent. What I’m saying is that it seems to be a natural tendency for some people to not address the main topic of how historical systemic injustice is the root cause of what happened to George Floyd and tens (or hundreds) of thousands of other people like him over the decades.
You and others may feel you are honestly and impartially presenting statistics. Maybe you honestly feel that way. But to those of us who have danced this dance for decades, it looks like the same game of deflect and distract that has been used from before my father’s father was born.
And whenever someone like me speaks up about it, we are accused of looking for an echo chamber, or trying to stifle honest conversation, or being unwilling to embrace opposing views that “prove” what I feel or know is wrong. I’m smiling and chuckling right now typing this, because it seems sort of absurd. First we have to defend our grief. Then I have to defend why I have to defend my grief. Then we have to defend why we don’t want to have to defend our previous defense.
But I get it. As black people in America, we have lived an existence non-minorities have not. We are forced to think about things like this constantly, day in day out, morning noon and night some days. Whites very rarely have to consider how racism negative affects them. This is not a criticism or indictment – just a statement of fact. Many times, before an honest discussion of racism can be had between blacks and whites, the blacks have to explain reams of things to whites so whites can understand how pervasive and demoralizing a lifetime of this has been – I’m not looking for anything here, just stating facts. Sometimes, blacks don’t want to have that elementary discussion for the 100th time, to build up someone’s knowledge of the situation to the point where a meaningful discussion can take place. Sometimes, it is comforting to have a gentle conversation with others who already understand our experiences, no matter the other person’s race. This is not about blacks speaking to whites, it’s about people speaking to other people who understand their experiences. It’s like women trying to have a discussion about the tribulations and joys of childbirth constantly being interrupted by men telling them what it’s like to give birth to a baby.
I’m not looking for an echo chamber. I’m not looking to shut out anyone who is honestly trying to contribute and understand. But I also don’t want to have to consistently tolerate those who play games, because I know those deflections and distractions will chase away people who see it for what it is and stop participating in the discussion.