<p>Anyone trying to get “back to basics”? I am trying really hard to do the family dinner thing this year. We use to be a faithful, 5 night a week family dinner family, and that has really slid the last year. It is hard with all the EC’s of four children, etc. Does anyone think family “breakfast” is an equally good alternative. If the purpose to sit as a family and talk about life, does it matter if it dinner or breakfast?</p>
<p>When our kids were very small, H got home from work too late for us to have a family dinner. So instead, we had a family breakfast, which everyone enjoyed. I think it’s the time around the table, not what time of day it is, that counts.</p>
<p>Family breakfast would work unless the family is grumpy (like mine) in the morning. We have always done the family dinner. Last fall DS#1 went off to college leaving his parents and little brother. We quickly realized that he carried the conversation at dinner time. My husband, younger son and I just didn’t have that much to say…so I put a globe at DS#1’s chair and we started quizzing each other on geography. Everyone loved it - except DS#1 was a bit put out when he came home on fall break, to find a globe on his placemat.</p>
<p>i think with the schedules people have these days, it is nearly impossible - especially 5 nights a week.</p>
<p>breakfast … that might work, but might not. here, all the school levels start at different times.</p>
<p>high school bus gets here at 6:45, middle school, at 7:45, elementary bus, at 8:30. so most elementary kids will still be asleep when the high school kids leave.</p>
<p>and most people have to leave for work at a certain time due to traffic. depending on the commute, worker bees might be leaving before any of the kids even get up.</p>
<p>so, while family meal is a nice idea, it is really hard to put into practice.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t dare try a family breakfast now. We’d all just have our heads in the newspaper and wouldn’t say a word to each other. ;)</p>
<p>oh, and one more thing about breakfast … i am not sure anybody around this house feels like chatting much at breakfast.</p>
<p>: /</p>
<p>I think we are going to give breakfast a try. Our schools are on a split schedule also, but the girls (HS/MS) get up before the elementary kids because they do the girl stuff. So, we will try breakfast at 6:45 and see if it works. Basically it means I have to be out of bed really early to get it all prepared so I’ll let you know after the school year starts if it is worth it…lol.</p>
<p>s is home from college and we’re having nice family dinners about 5 nights per week. He’s got regular full time job hours…such a change from his high school years with all those activities. It won’t last long but we’re treasuring it while it does. Plus, with all this glorious weather, we’ve been eating outside. And the food is real…I’m doing my best to stay away from processed junk. So far, so good.
Breakfast wouldn’t work for us…we’re too grumpy and have a newspaper reading habit. But I think it’s worth a try for other families…any meal together is better than nothing!</p>
<p>Family dinners are nearly sacred for us, and we eat together at home nearly every night of the week. It means we eat at odd hours --sometimes as early as 4:45, sometimes at 7:15, in order to accommodate schedules. The kids have learned to schedule activities so as to avoid the dinner hour. D2 rescheduled activities last night just to be home for “Mom’s spaghetti.”</p>
<p>We eat together when we can, but we don’t force it.
But we all clear our schedules for Thursday, cuz we eat at my Nanas</p>
<p>The newspaper reading habit is a concern. H and I were talking on the phone and he said if I brought it to him in the morning (which I quickly made some smartassed comment about…haha) he would cut out some articles and put one on each persons plate why I was cooking (I have banned him from the kitchen when I’m in it…lol). That way the elementary kids could read theirs out loud which of course over time will build confident speakers and better readers and we could discuss each article. I have a feeling only one article a day will be read, but the debates will be good.</p>
<p>If we’re at home, we eat our meals together, no matter what time of day. I’m not sure why exactly, but my wife and I have always had this expectation, and the kids have never questioned it. I would really miss the conversation and sense of togetherness if we didn’t.</p>
<p>This usually works out to nine meals a week: five dinners Monday through Friday, and breakfast plus a late lunch/early dinner on Saturday and Sunday. We don’t schedule our lives around it; if we have to work late or the kids have school functions, there’s no penalty for missing a meal. But if you have nothing more pressing going on, the expectation is that you’ll be eating with the family.</p>
<p>Between dinner and breakfast, I choose breakfast as the more satisfying meal to eat as a family, simply because we’re all in better moods and not stressed out from work and school. We sometimes linger for ninety minutes over breakfast!</p>
<p>We always managed to have most of our dinners together as well even through the busiest times. Now, when my kids are visiting, they always want to sit down for dinner and will alter plans with friends in order to do so. Free food, I suppose! At least they still do the dishes afterwards, following our well established “the person who cooks does not have to clean up” rule.</p>
<p>Would never work at our house. I’m the only one who is perky in the morning. Also, I prefer dinner so we can talk about what happened that day.</p>
<p>I did talking to my child in a car while driving her to various EC’s and talking to my H. while taking daily power walks together for whole hour. Sometime we had Sunday dinner, but I do not enjoy them. Hard to talk with mouthful, hard to focus while digesting food, and then their is an issue with portion control. The awesome family time was when we all went on out-of-town sport competitions which was very frequent event. I feel as long as family spends reasonable time together to make sure that everybody is on the same page as far as family goals are concerned, it does not matter where when and how you do it.</p>
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<p>“The family that cleans bidets together, stays together.”</p>
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<p>I love this, need2learn! We have wonderful, animated dinner conversations with our two Ds. I have been dreading this fall when D1 leaves for college - even though D2 is a talker, I worry about the 3-person dynamic, versus 4. The girls play off each other (often at our H and my expense ;)) and I worry that dinner with just the 'rents won’t be as appealing for D2. I love the idea of “replacing” D1 with something - a globe, a stuffed animal, a photo of her, whatever. Thanks for the idea :)</p>
<p>When those dinners get hard to coordinate, try eating out AFTER the students are done with rehearsals, practice, etc, they almost never turn down eating out. Also, it is not the eating together, or the time of day, it is the conversing together that counts, so make sure the eating includes the talking, no matter where or when! Grab it when you can. Also, once the kids are driving, and you lose that captivated in car opp for conversation, stay up until they get home, do not merely call in from the bedroom, honey, is that you? It may only work for night owls, or early curfews, but you will see them when they are vulnerable, tired, and can really see where they are at in their personal lives. Pick up hints of personal problems with friends, school, etc.</p>
<p>Like Booklady’s family, we had family breakfasts many years ago when family dinner would have been too late for the kids (and before our caboose arrived). </p>
<p>These days we manage family dinners 3 - 4 nights during the week (H often has evening work commitments), and at least one weekend night. </p>
<p>I like the globe idea, too, though there’s no question that S2, who’s always had a thing for maps, could school both H and me in geography, so we’ll have to come up with something else when S1 joins D at college next month.</p>
<p>We manage to have dinner together 5 or 6 nights a week. Not easy with the kids schedules, so we have to be somewhat flexible with times. It helps that H and I both get home from work fairly early. I think it must be much harder in families where the adults don’t get home until late.
It will be interesting to see if it’s a lot quieter this fall when we’re down to only one child at home.</p>