And another thing I was thinking about this morning…remember how you go through labor with your first child & all you can remember later is BABY but then you go into the delivery room for the next one and you’re like shoot I forgot about labor.
That’s what is happening with Kid 2 and college…I had forgotten about how tough it is to be right in the middle of finals and a week before Christmas and suddenly all of these decisions come flooding in and Defers and Rejecteds are floating around in the air and can knock even the most stable of kids off their feet.
I felt really badly for my S last night…as he was getting texts (well snapchats) from buddies saying “into Harvard!” “Princeton” “MIT, MIT, MIT!” “Columbia!!!” he was deferred from Northeastern (a school that both he & I thought was a match).
I don’t know…i guess the schools are smart to do it right before the holiday break so kids can be with their families and get away from it all but it’s still hard…grrrr…
OMG! Thank you - I thought the same thing - my S’17 actually got a “wait and see” from Temple the night before Thanksgiving. i was like really? We couldn’t have held them for a few days? And at least his was requesting more grades, it would have been worse for a bad decision. Ugh.
Totally agree. And for the kids who have finals this time of year, it’s like, you get rejected/deferred from your dream school and then have to concentrate on studying for a final the next day, with the added pressure that the grade is really going to count for the RD round!
Take heart. Northeastern is deferring everyone for the last couple of cycles. Several kids at our school were deferred then accepted. At least three are one students there. Merry Christmas!
So true. It can really make for some huge mood swings depending on the letter that come in the mail.
I think social media is making it worse because you see all these kids getting accepted and you thing “why not me”.
I explain that just because someone posted an acceptance letter does not mean they are going. Most families have financial constraints and does impact where they go. Not only that, check back in two years and see if they are still there. Many kids start out thinking they want the expensive school only to transfer out to a cheaper option.
And I’m also feeling badly for several of the anonymous kids whose essays I read and who are AMAZING applicants in every way but have written this morning to tell me that they find themselves in a deferred December…
Not that many years ago, there was very little activity before Christmas. Now more and more schools are doing EA and ED, and more students are participating. My kids did rolling admission schools and knew in Oct. No Christmas disappointments.
Another reminder (LABOR!). The Grinch-y Christmas treats don’t end with admissions. Next year, just before the holidays, you’ll be treated to a bill from the winning institution.
^Ain’t that the truth?!? And we are getting TWO bills since older kid took 2 1/2 gap years. So my two youngest kids will be in school at the same time for seven semesters.
Are colleges switching back to postal mail for admissions notifications? My kids got theirs by e-mail or by logging in to college websites, but that was quite a few years ago. All of a sudden, I’m hearing about students waiting for actual envelopes from colleges again, just as we did decades ago.
@Marian Not sure. All of the schools that my son is applying to mail out letters I believe. For them, you receive an ID # that you can then use to create an account I believe. This is my first foray into the process so I am not totally sure. I am learning as I go. And taking advantage of all the helpful people here.
My kid didn’t even apply ED to any school, b/c we need to weigh all financial options. However, she was so morose as she cyber-stalked people getting admits. We had a huge kerfuffle over it and had to take away her phone! Then a friend told me her son was doing the same thing. It is a tough time! First world problem for sure (she’s so tired of us telling her she could be an 18 year old in Aleppo).
“And for the kids who have finals this time of year, it’s like, you get rejected/deferred from your dream school and then have to concentrate on studying for a final the next day, with the added pressure that the grade is really going to count for the RD round!”
Plus, the time between now and New Years will be spent doing more RD applications that would not have been necessary if the early returns had been positive. Great – even more stupid college essays to write!!
This thread captures the angst of the season so well. A few years ago our DC got deferred from his SCEA school and broken up with by his girlfriend on the same day. Can you say Merry Christmas? But it all worked out in the end. He got into a great school in April and has been very happy there. The girlfriend? Not so much.
