In his original post he did not state he had a weed problem. He described an incident. . A few posts back he did state he had a weed problem, as part of a larger picture.
It is sometimes possible that an all or nothing kind of attitude backfires: those from cultures of abstinence can have the worst addictions to substances when indulged.
The original poster can judge whether the proper focus is drug treatment, but I see no evidence for that so far. Smoking marijuana 3 or 4 days a week with friends is not a reason for drug treatment. This is an overreaction.
If the “partying” all summer meant habitual drug use that interfered with functioning, then by all means see a drug counselor. If smoking 3 or 4 times a week meant you were headed toward failing classes, or causing you depression or fatigue, then see a drug counselor.
But if I were your parent I would get you a counselor who is not focused solely on drugs, but one who can help you with this unexpected transition out of school and figuring out what to do next.
I would also be concerned about your response to peer pressure. Peer pressure can have all kinds of negative consequences. You might need help learning how to be yourself.
I feel it is unfairly stigmatizing you to take one incident and label you as a druggie. But if you feel that label fits (I don’t have enough information for that) then take action as everyone has suggested.
I thought about it and made my own conclusion that makes sense of the situation.
OP is not kicked out. It’s just one year off and coming back with “permanent probation” which is nothing unless he wants to continuously use drugs.
OP wants to start fresh somewhere else, where a few minor drug incidents won’t cause a seriously problem as would happen at the current school during with the “permanent probation.”
I only have one advise: Get a professional help for drug addiction.
Like sculptordad, I don’t see the problem with permanent probation. If the OP truly has learned from this experience and plans to change his ways, then there is nothing to be concerned about with a permanent probation. Seems to me this is the message the school is sending. I see nothing wrong with taking a year to straighten oneself out, work some job that will likely impress upon the need/desirability of a good college education, and then start fresh.
seanxt, do they have specific requirements for you to meet before coming back, such as counseling or full-time work? Often medical leaves have such requirements and also an interview with a college MD before coming back. This is basically and enforced medical leave.
As I said before, I know a young man who was in the same situation, including cop involvement and hospitalization, and suspension. He returned in a year and did wonderfully, and now works at the college.
Rather than seeing the suspension as punitive, try to see it as helpful. I think it would be great if you could stay at that school if your scholarship continues, which it probably does once your suspension is over.
If you have good reasons (other than running away) for going to a CA school, get help with the transition.
One way or the other, whether to genuinely get help or impress upon the college that you are serious, a therapist is a good idea. Again, only you know whether that would include a focus on drugs.
Can you approach SLU about continuing? You’ve made a mistake in your first week of college, you’ve owned it, and you are now ready to move on. Would SLU take you back on a conditional basis - i.e., let you finish the semester on probation, with the stipulation that you seek counselling?
^OP already appealed. SLU is pretty lenient - he has one year to clean up his act, then he can attend as long as he’s got no drug offense again. The fact he’s not willing to try indicates he can’t envision not taking drugs and thus has a drug addiction problem.
I think that’s a bit of a leap. It might just feel bad being under probation, a kind of scarlet letter if you will. And there may be other reasons for wanting to go back to CA.
@compmom your personal position on marijuana use is very clear from this post as some others. I agree with you one point that there are probably other issues that need to be addressed other than drug use. The problem is until he stops using , it is hard to determine what role drugs truly play in his problems. To be thrown out of school in just a week IMO is indicative of a drug problem for OP. To minimize that does not help the situation. The fact that OP is having a psychological evaluation is indicative that others believe that as well. Until he gets a full evaluation by a mental health professional, it is irresponsible to say it’s not a problem IMO.
^^^^^^^^^ ‘To be thrown out of school in just a week IMO is indicative of a drug problem for OP.’ That is succinct and true. This does not mean addiction, but it is a problem. And I think the weed use was a precursor to the LSD. My college student D tells me weed is not addictive, not a gateway drug, and alcohol is worse. Well, it is more dangerous for college freshmen to get blind drunk than high, but that doesn’t mean weed is harmless. My D realizes this, as her best friend from HS and freshman roommate flunked out her first year at school, because ‘she smoked weed all the time.’
^^^^^^^^^^ ‘The problem is until he stops using , it is hard to determine what role drugs truly play in his problems.’ Absolutely correct from a therapeutic position. OP needs to stop using long enough to get a baseline, see what help might be gained by meds and/or therapy. I worked as a mental health counselor and that was the first thing we always recommended, to get drug-free so we could see what was really going on.
I hope OP gets these issues under control. This doesn’t mean that weed will for certain ruin his life, or that he might resume occasional use sometime in the future. Just not now. Most weed users don’t move on to cocaine or heroin or others, but a lot do. Someone who has just been expelled from college needs to play it safe.
I bet one of SLU’s conditions for OP’s ability to come back and continue at the school is a zero-tolerance drug prohibition – as in, if he’s caught doing anything (even pot) again, he is gone.
And that kind of makes sense: not only is it still illegal in Missouri, but it also led to his hospitalization and (the school rightly believes) might continue to present issues in his life if he continues to use. So there’s the legal aspect but also the caring aspect. Whether they care about him personally, we don’t know, but i think this suspension and an anti-drugs stipulation is really geared to improving his health, happiness, wallet, and (overall) success in school and life beyond. It is an act of concern and love, really, viewed in this context. OP is blessed that he survived this with a stern warning, certainly, but without anything else that remains to impede his happiness, education, liberty, and success. If he owns it – including seeking help, if necessary – this stumbling block will be, and be referenced in his own mind hopefully, as a stepping stone.
I don’t have a position on marijuana. I have three wonderful kids who finished college awhile ago and a realistic picture of college life.
An incident occurred with “acid” that resulted in police and hospital involvement, and suspension. Sometimes it is the naïve kids who were sheltered at home who do these dangerous things when they first get to college. From his first post, it was hard to tell if he had a drug problem.
I would defer to what the original poster says on this. He later says he has been smoking weed a lot. Again, I know highly successful kids who smoke that much. I know adults who have cocktails every day. I think there are other problems going on.
I am not pro drug for heaven’s sake. None of my kids indulges (as I said, two of them can’t for medical reasons). I just wanted to make sure this kid didn’t get unfairly labeled as a druggie and end up with the wrong kind of therapy.
I don’t want to derail this thread so last one from me. And yes I worked in “the field.”
I don’t know that the thread was derailed by above poster, as threads often veer into different directions. OP had several questions: should he omit (lie) about suspension, can he go to UC schools, etc. The drug use seemed to draw the most attention, as is correct, as this is what brought on the crisis.
But I have questions about the above post. Naive kids who do dangerous things when they go to college? OP admitted he partied all summer. OP took an acid tab from unknown dealer. That is far different than having cocktails.
I have three daughters, one in college and two in high school. My realistic view of college life is that I am frightened that any of them could derail their college careers with substance use, whether alcohol, cocaine, opiods, LSD, or just weed.
Things can happen in one night that derail lives. I was not referring to habitual use. It has become clear that the original poster has more habitual use. So the point isn’t as relevant now that the OP has given more info.
There are kids who have never used, who make a similar, but one time only, mistake , who end up in the hospital and in trouble. I have seen it four times, and read that this is a problem for freshmen who are not sophisticated, feel vulnerable in a new place, or are responding to new freedoms. This applies to alcohol poisoning as well.
OP, what is your financial situation? Can you afford to return to SLU in a year?
You could go to California and enroll in a cc. Here are my concerns with that scenario:
It sounds like you would then be living with your father. What is your relationship with him? Is he likely to be supportive if you have trouble adjusting, being organized, being defiant or staying away from drugs or ‘bad friends’?
You have quite a few college credits and good scores. You may be limited in the classes you can take.
You would be eligible to transfer in less than a year. Since you will have to disclose the SLU time, that may not be enough time for a new 4-year college to take a chance on you.
I think your top priority needs to be counseling, to sort out everything that is affecting you: your relationship with your former stepdad, your parents’ divorce, your moving, your possible adhd, your possible odd, your choice of friends, your use of drugs.
Why don’t you stay where you are, take a job and attend counseling? Figure this out with a counselor and don’t plan on returning to college until you have your head where it needs to be. College adds a lot of social and emotional stress. It will be there when you are ready.Don’t use it to run away from your problems.