Gifst for First Communion & Confirmation?

Parent Cafe
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<p>A work colleague has invited me to his son’s First Communion, followed by a reception celebrating the communion AWA another son’s Confirmation.</p>

<p>As a nonCatholic (living in the Bible Belt), I have a few questions.</p>

<p>1) Re: the service. Do nonCatholics participate in the same way as Catholics? Does only the child receive communion?</p>

<p>2) What gifts are appropriate? From what I have read online, folks suggest religious gifts – books, rosaries, etc., but I am not too familiar with what would be appropriate. Is cash ok? Other types of gifts? Should both children receive the same gift? Is one religious milestone considered more significant and should receive a bigger gift?</p>

<p>I don’t know the parents or children very well, but am happy to be included. I am just clueless re: what is appropriate! I don’t want to embarrass myself OR make the family feel uncomfortable. </p>

<p>ANY suggestions would be most appreciated. Please help!!</p>

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<p>As a non-Catholic, you should not participate in communion. There are exceptions for Eastern Orthodox, but generally speaking communion is limited to Catholics. Catholics believe in the doctrine of transubstantiation, meaning that Christ is physically present in the Eucharist. The idea is that only people who share that belief should participate in communion. Protestants rarely share that belief. </p>

<p>Usually, First Communion takes place at a regular mass. That means you will be sitting through an entire mass. You should expect that the mass will take at least an hour.For First Communion, it will probably be closer to an hour and a half. </p>

<p>At some point, a collection will be taken up. You should not feel obligated to contribute. At some masses, there is also a second collection for some special event. Again, don’t feel oblgated to contribute. I’m just letting you know it will happen, so you won’t feel disconcerted when it happens.</p>

<p>You don’t say what faith you are, but if you have ever attended a Lutheran mass, it’s very, very similar. There are 3 readings. You will be expected to stand for the third one, which is the Gospel. </p>

<p>There is a lot of sitting, standing, kneeling in a mass. Just follow what the others do. </p>

<p>There are usually “missalettes” in the pew which have the readings for the month in them, so you can folllow along if you wish. I think you will find some of the prayers familiar and you are free to join in–or not. </p>

<p>I don’t think you are obligated to give a gift at all. A nice card would be fine. If you want to do so, fine. While traditionally gifts for those making First Communion are religious, it’s not horrible to give anythiing appropriate for a child of the age. Your friend knows that you aren’t Catholic. </p>

<p>For First Communion for a pricey gift, a simple gold or silver cross necklace is a lovely gift for a girl. You can probably find a Catholic book store in your area and find a “life of the Saints” type book if you want to do this. You might consider getting a gift card at such a store too. </p>

<p>But really, anything is fine. I don’t like giving cash to people I don’t know well, but that may just be me.</p>

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<p>Our family doesn’t throw parties for confirmations. We celebrate First Communion with a small family gathering. If you choose to give a gift, a small gift with a “congratulations” card is fine. It doesnt have to be religious since you are not Catholic. It can be as simple as a gift card.</p>

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<p>^Agree with lilmom. I live in the Northeast and here we tend to have family and only the closest friends attend Communions and Confirmations. It is a celebration and gifts are given…give what you feel comfortable with. I would not give a religious book or bible of any sort because imagine a kid getting twenty bibles. That would be a gift given by a grandparent (to start the young child with his/her family bible) in addition to a check. It is usually Godparents who will give a gold cross or medal to a child although I have seen people give a pair of earrings to a little girl. In my opion cash is best so they could either put it in their bank account or purchase what they like.</p>

<p>Also when the ushers are going around to the pews it would in my opion be considered rude not to make a small donation. Even a couple dollars shows a gesture of respect for any house of worship. It however is not necessary to kneel during the services…you can remain seated but do not participate in Communion.</p>

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<p>We were at our grandson’s First Communion last Saturday in PA. (I can’t believe he is old enough for that, by the way.) The mass was Saturday morning, so it was not a regular mass, so there was no collection. If the First Communion happens at a regular Saturday or Sunday mass, then there would be a collection. A small gift would be nice. I gave my grandson a rosary and some money. His non-catholic grandparents gave him a check. </p>

<p>From a religious standpoint, both First Communion and Confirmation are equally important, with Confirmation being a bit more important. However, First Communion is typically celebrated with a larger party than Confirmation. That is just my experience.</p>

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<p>As a non Catholic you do not need to kneel though you certainly may and of course you should not receive Communion.</p>

<p>A small gift of money is appropriate but if you want to choose a gift you can. I have purchased from The Catholic Child and have had good results.</p>

<p>[Catholic</a> Child.com: Teachings and treasures for Catholic youth, toddler through teen.](<a href=“http://www.catholicchild.com/]Catholic”>http://www.catholicchild.com/)</p>

<p>A Lutheran friend let her kids pick out my son’s First Communion gift which she later apologized for due to the gaudiness of the religious statue. She said she knows we Catholics never can bring ourselves to throw away a religious item (blest or not) without feeling guilty.</p>

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<p>YOu have been given good info here. Just follow along in the service, Catholic masses don’t usually have a full service printed on the bulletin like protestant services, in my experience, so you will see people chiming in responses to things, and you won’t know what they are saying, but that is not a big deal.</p>

<p>Do not go up to communion if you are not Catholic.</p>

<p>As far as a gift, I agree that you shouldn’t try to find a “religious” item because the family will probably do that. I usually give a US savings bond or something like that.</p>