<p>We have done the blank greeting cards (nice pictures on the front) and books for elderly aunts. My mother (age 84) loves costume jewelry of the type sold at department stores ($35 kind of price range). For total strangers, house warming gifts for kids when visiting friends’ beach house, etc., we usually go with a large flower arrangement. It dies in a few days but is spectacular at the time of presentation and seems to be enjoyed.</p>
<p>We have beautiful local craft stores here. An incredible wooden bowl makes a great hostess gift–sorry–I went with the hi-jack.</p>
<p>Gift card/certificate/cash. When you are 85, why would you want more stuff? You don’t know the person, why try to get a personal gift. As people get older, they get to be more particular. They like a certain lotion, food, book, picture. plant… Unless you really know the person, there is a 99% chance that whatever you get would not be right. Even with my parents, I give them money to buy whatever they want.</p>
<p>My mother loved a good bottle of champagne on special occasions.</p>
<p>I agree with citygirlsmom regarding the gift cards. My mother sends out many, many cards. Unfortunately many are “get well” and “sympathy”. However, she really likes the gift of a card assortment so that she has things on hand for whatever occasion–and include those “forever” stamps that will remain good even when postage goes up again.</p>
<p>What she doesn’t like to receive is anything to dust, water, or feed. For her I often get food items (but I know what she likes). Still a small gift basket of edibles might be nice.</p>
<p>If you could find out a little about her–my mother and aunts all feed birds and appreciate a supply of bird seed or those little seeds “cakes” that you just hang up and then throw away when they are done.</p>
<p>In this kind of situation, why not give a double-whammy gift? If feasible, have flowers delivered to the home of the hostess but addressed to the honoree. Party-goers can enjoy the flowers, the honoree feels as if she is ‘showing off’ her bouquet, it goes home with her after the party and dies in a few days!! What a nice ‘Win-Win’!</p>
<p>Got this idea from my mother who relocated to a new town in her later years after she was widowed. A group of ladies threw a little reception for her to introduce her to their community. (Those Southern women are so thoughtful!!) She had flowers delivered to the party and they were placed on a table near the front door for all to enjoy. This is just one example of when she did this. Said she believed it was appropriate to send a thank-you bouquet to the hostess and when better to do that than when the hostess was having guests!</p>
<p>That is such a sweet story, Beil, about the new neighbors of your mom! Very thoughtful!</p>
<p>Yes, many older than 80 are starting to give away stuff and are fussy about products. So it’s hard to know what to buy.</p>
<p>Although giving money makes sense within a family (my elders always are tight with fixed incomes), that generation is very proud. They could easily take offense if given hard cash as a gift, as if they’re a charity case, from anyone not their son or daughter. </p>
<p>So what about a gift certificate card to a nearby box-store at a mall? I see them all the time for Targets, Wal-Mart and the like.</p>
<p>Similarly, if you use the 'net to find a nearby restaurant and get her a gift certificate there, she might be able to enjoy a lunch out with friends sometime in the coming year.</p>
<p>You say she’s financially comfortable. If she were urban, I’d suggest a gift certificate to a nearby museum or theater, but since you say she lives rural, can you find out if she belongs to a church? If so, you can be sure that if you send a small contribution to her church, in honor of her birthday, she’ll hear about it and feel very proud. This spreads the news of her birthday and supports something she is part of all year. With a phone call to the church, you can find out various funds (education, pastoral, landscaping, senior club…) and pick one that sounds appropriate to you. If you’re not sure, just say, “general operating fund.” Mail the check to the church and they’ll notify the birthday girl it was received. Add your wording, such as, “In honor of the Special Birthday of XXXlady.” They won’t publish the amount of your gift!</p>
<p>To me, it’s rather dismissive to say of an old person, “Aah, just give 'em a card.”
Everybody deserves a bit of thought and care. If you’re eating food at her home, I agree with you that a card isn’t enough. So bravo for figuring out a gift for her.</p>
<p>I thought I’d update you on Monday’s big bash. There was a mob of local people including a reporter for the local paper who took a picture of the birthday “girl” and all her guests on the steps of the hall. We ended up bringing a box of nice candy from a great shop near us. I think it was a good idea as I saw a bag of Godiva stuff and another of Trader Joe’s various candies on the gift table.
I loved everyone’s ideas and will use them for people I know something about! Turns out it was in a very small town with no big box stores for miles and miles. There is only one restaurant in town, which one of the guests told me “Sadie” hates. One of the local ladies has quite a green thumb so there were tons of lovely flowers that she took back to the house. I plan to do the greeting card idea for my great aunt who has a little trouble with her vision. Again, thank you all!</p>