<p>H’s late mother’s late brother’s exwife will be 85. Her kids are throwing a party for her. H hasn’t seen these cousins since they were all teens over 30 years ago.<br>
It’s about a 5 hour drive to a rural area, but we’re going (which is fine with me). I just have NO idea what to bring for a gift. H talked to one of his cousins and they said, not to worry, just get a card. I feel like we have to bring something but neither of us really know her at all. My understanding is that she is financially comfortable.
Any suggestions???</p>
<p>A small flowering plant in a nice pot or basket would be appropriate. Or, since it’s a party for a group, perhaps a box of nice chocoates or gourmet cookies that the birthday person could then share?</p>
<p>Mother used to groan, though, when people brought her live things like plants because she felt it was something else to deal with. My vote is for food of any kind…you’d be safe with that!</p>
<p>How about some nice hand lotion or soap. I once went to a party for a 100 year old woman. Everyone gave her liquor. She loved it!</p>
<p>I think a nice gift basket of gourmet food items is probably your best bet for someone you don’t know. Or perhaps a small “hostess” basket - fancy soaps, hand towels.</p>
<p>We have trouble every Christmas knowing what to get H’s 80+ aunts who never married. Last year it was a boxed set of Broadway Musical DVDs. One of their favorite gifts was the garden bench we gave them one year. They also fussed quite a bit over the tapestry runner we bought them in Venice. They have so many food and allergy restrictions, that it’s really hard to guess what’s appropriate. They have a small house and everything they want or need. A lot of our gifts end up at their church bazaar within a year or two!</p>
<p>You could get her a fancy picture frame because there are sure to be many pictures taken on this big occasion and she may like having the frames to eventually put one or more pictures in.</p>
<p>How about a set of roller blades? :D</p>
<p>We recently attended an 80th bday party for a friend’s mom (didn’t know her very well). Her husband had recently passed away and she decided that she wanted a big bash while she was there to enjoy it, so EVERYBODY was invited. I learned that she enjoyed gardening, so I gave her a copy of one of my favorite books on perennials - along with the gift reciept and a note telling her that it was fine with me if she wanted to exchange it for Harry Potter or something steamy. Most of the other gifts were food or lotions. The word was also put out ahead to have people take lots of pictures and they’re being put together to make her an album by another attendee. If you’re a photo nut like me and don’t mind spending some time to put it together, Shutterfly makes a beautiful photo album where you can size, crop, caption, change backgrounds to your artistic heart’s content. I used this to make an album for D before she left for college and for photo-worthy vacations. I</p>
<p>If she is interested in a particular charity or cause you could give a gift in her honor to that group and give her a card mentioning the gift.</p>
<p>Don’t get her anything she has to dust.</p>
<p>My mother in law loved a poster book of pictures from Paris in the 1920’s, which is when/where she grew up. She talked about that for weeks.</p>
<p>Also appreciated by the nice old ladies I know: lounging pillows for their old furniture which they refuse to renew, “picture” throws custom made with the grandkids pictures or with pictures of her own family.</p>
<p>My dad’s favorite birthday gift was a send up I made for him for his 80th. A small book, it poked fun at a lot of his old stories, but was really a loving tribute and he showed it to everyone! His other fav gift was a box of batteries of every size, type, etc. </p>
<p>Disposable cameras are nice for the elderly because they sometimes have trouble with digitals or SLRs but anybody can work a disposable. Get 'em the processing by mail so they don’t have to go out to the store to get the pics.</p>
<p>Some costume type jewelry, accessories, a scarf, a sweater etc. but from a store near her so that she can exchange if it’s not her taste. I also like the picture frame idea. We’ve done subscriptions to a favorite out of town newspaper, or you can get her tickets to an event or show near her house.</p>
<p>a gift I’ve seen appreciated by senior citizens is a subscription to Reminisce magazine: <a href=“http://www.reminisce.com/Default.asp?r_d=y[/url]”>http://www.reminisce.com/Default.asp?r_d=y</a></p>
<p>Also, you could buy several disposable cameras and set them around for people to pick up and take candid shots; collect all the cameras before youl leave and have them processed. At my grandma’s 100th birthday, the facility provided that and lots of small bottles of bubbles - you could blow some, and take them home as a remembrance.</p>
<p>Something consumable. By the time we are that old, we usually have no need for more “stuff!”</p>
<p>Soaps, lotions, gift certificate for a manicure, wine (if appropriate), gourmet jams, etc.</p>
<p>What about cash? People that age are throwing things out, but most of them are on fixed income.</p>
<p>something my mother in law loved was a box of mixed greeting cards, elderly ladies love sending cards but have a hard time going to the store and standing around picking them out</p>
<p>citygirlsmom… adding some postage stamps to the package is appreciated, too.</p>
<p>Thank you all so much for your suggestions - keep them coming! I’m sure to use quite a few with people I do know. Sadly, other than her age, we pretty much know NOTHING! I’d thought the candy idea was a good when and then my mom said - well what if she’s diabetic? I suppose she can just let other’s eat them. Oh well!</p>
<p>Can you hire someone to come in for a spa day - massage, pedicure, hair care? We have some companies here who will perform these services and more in your home. Always a cost for these of course, but if a couple families go together… or just choose one!</p>
<p>What about a coffee table photo book like “America’s Century” or another look back at recent history? Books are nice because they can be “used” by the recipient, then given away without guilt. And they don’t seem like “too much” from a relative stranger (no pun intended.)</p>