Back story: my grandmother was supposed to officiate my wedding in a few weeks. Due to an illness, that is no longer a possibility and my cousin has stepped in. She is quite excited about it even though she has never officiated a wedding. It is going to be a very short, non-traditional, religion-less ceremony on a beach. She is ordained (??? not sure of the correct terminology) through her UU church.
So the question- what are some suggestions for gifts or things I could do to show my appreciation? I’m clueless as to these things. My parents did a court wedding and my fiance’s parents did a church wedding so neither have been in this situation. She is a few years younger than me- just graduated from undergrad and is starting a grad program this fall. She comes from a lot of money and knows we are struggling so she has specifically asked for no cash payment. However, I’d still like to do something nice for her… I just don’t know what! We’re not especially close just due to physical distance (we grew up in different states), but we get along very well.
Sorry about your grandmother, I hope she is on the mend and she is first on your list to visit after you are wed.
And congratulations! I always wanted a wedding on a beach, but we had a court wedding. At least we had dinner with a lakeview after our wedding
(wishing for perfect wedding weather!!!)
Suggestions:
One - a very nice “Thank you!” signed and framed photo of you and your soon to be spouse.
Two - could you offer to help her move, if she is going to be in on-campus housing? Maybe visit and buy her dinner (nothing crazy, just visiting as thanks)?
Three - are you her first wedding? Maybe you can do something with that - more of a remembrance (I’m thinking calligraphy) plus photo?
And my desperate go-to is a donation in the person’s name, to her church or to whatever volunteer group she is involved with.
It does not have to be money, but it seems that many folks keep the officiant in mind by giving some kind of gift unless they are a government official. We didn’t pay off the judges who married us LOL…
When I’ve done weddings for friends and family (as an ordained pastor) I have always told them that the ceremony was my gift to them in lieu of a wrapped present. Let this be her gift to you.
A framed photo taken discretely during the service or posed afterward of her officiating would also be a sufficient gift if you feel that you need to do something.
I think that hiring a professional who has set fees ($150 at my church, which includes premarital counseling, planning the service, the rehearsal and the service itself, so it comes down to about $10 per hour) is different than having a family member or friend doing the service. In the latter case, no payment is expected.
I really think you should listen to her. No payment is necessary. I’m sure she would appreciate a sincere and personal thank you, along with maybe a picture of the three of you.
I wasn’t planning on paying her. She just made that clear to me from the get go. (We’re very open about money in our family so that isn’t unusual). I am just really, really bad of thinking of sentimental gifts.
Some craft item from the area where you are getting married? A bowl made of driftwood, a wreath made of shells(if your beach has shelves), a blanket from craftsmen in the area, candles, pottery. Even jewelry from the area.
Ok Romani, I’ve been thinking lol! Dangerous I know!
Some things I’ve thought about. Not sure if you want something consumable but here are some suggestions. We like Cherry Republic, they have a store in downtown Traverse City and have all kinds of cherry related food items. They will box everything up nicely. http://www.cherryrepublic.com
If you want something more festive lol, there are tons of local wineries and now even a couple of distilleries. Here’s a link http://www.grandtraversedistillery.com. They have a tasting room downtown but they are sold in grocery stores. If you want to make a basket yourself with locally made products, Toms supermarkets has a good selection.
If you are thinking of jewelry, petoskey stone or Leland blue stone or beach glass is nice. Here a link to someone who I saw at a craft fair and thought she did a nice job http://www.turtlebackstudios.com.
Becky Thatcher is another jewelry designer with a store in downtown TC. It is pretty pricey but maybe you can find a pair of reasonably priced earrings http://www.beckythatcherdesigns.com
