I (M,17) haven’t been doing too academically well for the past year (almost had summer school as a Junior) and now I’m a Senior. Here are the issues I’m having:
I feel like I’m supposed to be in a grade lower. I don’t understand some of my classes and I feel like I’m completely unable to talk to anyone about it. Like I literally feel that I would do better if I was a junior or Sophomore again.
I feel so lonely and depressed when it comes to graduation. I hate my name (because it brings back too many memories) and I don’t like being the center of attention. I feel that if I can’t use my own name, then I can’t walk the stage at all. Even when I told my grandma that I didn’t wanna walk the stage, her response was “So you’re gonna deny us this?” I feel like they don’t truly understand my thinking and reasons. Even my mom degraded me and told me no one would want to be my friend (I only have like 3 senior friends. The rest are all younger)
My counselor makes me more depressed. She just keeps bringing up my grades and I feel extremely sad about it. I feel insecure and overwhelmed by my classes. I’m even failing a freshman class (I can’t physically do PE so I was given Journalism) and she hasn’t done anything but tell me I need to do my work. I literally went and broke down in tears in her office last year after a parent-counselor conference about my grades
Also need to mention, I do want to graduate. The only reason why though is so it gives me an excuse to see my dad again who I haven’t talked to since I was 5. I have his wife’s number and I plan to invite them but I know it’s not gonna go well over with my family.
Like I don’t know if I have a learning problem like ADHD/ADD or if I’m just stupid but I’m tired of it. I want to do better but I feel overwhelmed by everything. The only thing keeping me together is the thought of seeing my dad but even that overwhelms me. What do I even do??? Who do I even talk to when my counselor doesn’t even care?