There is a conversation about how to split up inheritance on the…retirement?? thread.
Barring a special situation like a serious disability, addiction, etc, I am a believer of an equal split - they are all equally mine.
And it is often not about the money, but the emotion. I don’t want to be dead and one kid be upset because I left another more (ie “loved” them more). Not the legacy I want to leave.
I don’t want to leave amounts based on perceived need. It may seem l like my art kid “needs” it more than my STEM kid, but art kid may have way less expenses. And how do I predict “need” years from now? Maybe STEM kid has a horrible divorce or serious illness. Or art kid becomes rich and famous or wins the lottery?
I can’t base it on one kid having rich in-laws - they may not be as rich I think or they may not be rich when they die, etc. Or my kid could outlive their spouse and never see a dime. Or in-laws could leave it all to their cat!
I can only base it on what I have and how many kids I have. So, for me, I’ve tried to treat them equally all their lives so why would that stop when I die?
Granted, I may be in an easier situation than some because I don’t have any steps, halves, etc.)
And I agree with the poster above - let you kids know how and why you have set it all up they way you did!