Long time lurker here but have decided to start posting.
Our youngest S has been dating a girl who lives at home for over a year now, and her parents include him in many outings, dinners etc. I just thought to get them something for Christmas, but have no idea what to give. Something more than a token/hostess type gift, but nothing too extravagant either.
I would be grateful for any ideas, thanks.
I would give a plate of my home baked Christmas cookies. Maybe on a decorative holiday plate that they can keep.
Personally, I wouldn’t purchase them anything. I think some thing you’ve baked would be thoughtful. Cookies, whatever. That’s all we’ve done with the various parents of old GF’s and vice versa.
But thanks because I’ve forgotten I need to do that!
I would recommend NOT giving them a gift since you’d be setting a precedent for the future. Next year they’ll feel compelled to get you something…and for 20 years you’ll be stuck unless the kids breakup ;-). I agree with baked goods or fruit you grow or some local treat that they won’t feel indebted. Just think it over before doing it. I would NOT have been happy if my boys’ girlfriends’ parents had started buying us gifts.
If he is going over to their house in the next day or two, a poinsettia would be good.
I would recommend that your son give them a present, something he baked, a playlist he created especially for them, a list of movies on Netflix he thinks they would enjoy, etc.
It would mean much more coming from him I’m sure.
I would absolutely suggest he bring some sort of a hostess gift at Christmas time, a thank you for all the times they’ve hosted him.
A box of candy, a platter of brownies, something along those lines.
But let it come from him, not you, even if you’re the one purchasing it.
One time I sent a floral arrangement to the SO’s house.
SO’s parent’s house I mean.
Poinsettia or holiday floral arrangement for sure. Flowers feel less “precedent-setting” and won’t necessarily make the parents feel obligated to get you something in return. I use FlowersforDreams.com which donates 25% of their profits every month to a local charity. Maybe you have something like that near you?
Thanks for all the great suggestions.
The parents gave us something last year, so I know they will for sure this year. They are big gift givers.
I ended up buying a nice box of handmade local chocolates and S will give it to them.
I would not send any size gift, as I would feel compelled to reciprocate if I were the recipient in this case. I love flowers, but a floral arrangement definitely falls under the need-to-reciprocate category for me.
This just happened at our house - Son has been dating girlfriend for over 3 years and came home from visiting her with a present to us from her parents. DH instantly wanted to reciprocate but son said not to-it’s something small that they just thought of us when they saw it (so he knows what it is!). Instead I am “bumping up” the girlfriends gift this year, which is probably a whole new thread topic!
@kayakingmom I was going to say a nice tray of cookies or something like that. The chocolates sound good. If you want to add to that (since you said they take him a lot of places, out to eat, etc.,) you could do a bottle of wine (if they are wine drinkers) or some kind of baked goods. If not though, I think you’re good!
@threebeans I think sending something small to just the parents, even if it is a tray of cookies, a pie, or something, is a nice gesture.
Perfect!
kayaking mom, please ignore my comment as I cross-posted with you. The chocolates sound like a lovely gift.
I would not get them anything unless you were invited over for a gathering.
Oh Lord no. My sons are all married and I don’t give their in-laws gifts. Cannot go there.
It would be good training for your son to learn to bring host/hostess gifts, purchased with his own money. A nice liquid hand soap for the guest bathroom, seasonal kitchen towels, candles, treats for their dog, potted plants, flowers, nice jam, jar of good olives, cheese, wine (if appropriate for his age and their drinking choices) all would work on occasion.
The main thing he could bring is good guest manners. We live in um, Vacationland, according to the license plates, and a couple of my son’s friends would benefit from Miss Manners’ boot camp.
The OP had decided on a course of action. No reason to keep thread open.