<p>S went to an all-male catholic hs. They didn’t have a junior prom. For senior prom they had to have a date of the opposite sex. Schools are allowed to make the rules. People who don’t want to live by the rules can work to change the rules or go to a different school.</p>
<p>Re. Post Above: What was the point of making a date of the opposite sex a mandatory prom requirement at his all male school? Isn’t the point of a senior prom to be a celebration/gathering for all to enjoy? Do you feel it’s right to ban a senior from a prom because he/she doesn’t have a date?</p>
<p>I asked my daughter about this, and she says that your most important person might be your best friend, not some random guy or girl. Why would you want to go to prom without your best friends? She had a “huh” response.</p>
<p>One of their solos in their group had just had a horrible break up with her boyfriend and they “made” her come with. “Otherwise, at least someone would have had to stay home with her. I mean, come ON. What dumb idea. All the friends are gonna leave their friend at home??? I doubt that.”</p>
<p>She seemed to not be able to concieve of this practice, much like the fact that phones used to only be attached to walls.</p>
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<p>So if your son’s date got horrible stomach flu the afternoon of the prom, you’d be fine with him not being able to attend solo? Because the school is allowed to make the rules, and you and your son could have considered the possibility of his date getting sick, or breaking up with him right before the prom, back when he was in 9th grade.</p>
<p>The Catholic highs that my kids went to, my nieces go to, my nephews go to, all allow kids to go solo, in groups, with a best friend, whatever. And, oftentimes, the dancing is just one massive group of kids out there with no particular partner. </p>
<p>Actually, I’m glad that most schools let kids go solo or with pals. It’s too painful for the kid who doesn’t have a date and can’t go.</p>
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<p>Same at our local high school. D1 went to Prom with her friends. One of the friends had a date–all the others did not. The group had a great time.</p>
<p>D2 always seemed to have a boyfriend come Prom time. Good timing on her part…her group of friends all went together–whether they had dates or not. </p>
<p>Prom in my day was a date-only dance. Glad things have changed (at least in many jurisdictions).</p>
<p>*Quote:
Wondering if this might be a recent rule…“All attendees must have a date of the opposite gender.” kind of thing. Keep those LGBT kids off the dance floor …
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<p>I wonder when Dancing With the Stars is going to have same-sex partners?</p>
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I have no idea what the reasoning was. I also have no idea what your first sentence had to do with your second and third sentences. </p>
<p>S’s school had several “date dances” and several which were not. Personally I have no problem either way, but maybe that’s because I don’t consider “prom” to be some monster event in a kid’s life that he/she will just die if they don’t get to go to one.</p>
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<p>What I’m not fine with is taking away the freedom of the school to make it’s own rules. Are you fine with the government making every rule for everybody for everything? I’m not keen on history’s track record in that regard.</p>
<p>So sylvan you would be okay if your son showed up to prom and his date didn’t, and he wanted to go in but they br him cause he doesnt have a girl attached? Really, after buying the ticket and renting the tux? You would just shrug?</p>
<p>Schools can make rules. Doesnt makr the rules right nor fair nor just. My ds school had date dances too. Girls still went as a group. That’s actually when they had the most fun.</p>
<p>This saying one has to have a date of the opposite sex is appalling. The girl in the story needs to find the best gay guy she can and have a fab time.</p>
<p>A private school is free to make its own rules, and I wouldn’t want the government to get involved. Still, if the school makes a stupid rule, it has to deal with the reaction when it becomes a national media story.</p>
<p>I don’t like the rule for many reasons, but as mentioned above, after spending money on a tux or dress, the student shouldn’t have to sit home after a break-up or the date had some emergency come up and couldn’t attend.</p>
<p>It shouldn’t be required to have a date. </p>
<p>As an aside…my best friend’s Catholic high school had an odd tradition that everyone embraced. If you wanted to go to the prom, you put your name in a box (one for boys, one for girls) and then the school drew names and you went with the name that was drawn. I don’t know what they did if they ran out of boys or girls, but it was such an odd custom.</p>
<p>* The girl in the story needs to find the best gay guy she can and have a fab time.*</p>
<p>and, there probably would be a good number who’d happily escort her.</p>
<p>Talk about escalation.</p>
<p>Who said anything about the government getting involved. The parents, who pay the tuition, should get involved.</p>
<p>In the past, in fact, when parents got sick of rules, they held private proms. I’m not saying they “should” in this case, but, as a parent, and hearing here that it is very common for catholic schools to allow solos and same sex groups at prom, I wouldn’t be “all right” with this, and I wouldn’t feel I had to “accept it.” I would certainly get a PTO meeting together about it and let my daughter speak, and bring her friends, who Im sure also think this is the dumbest thing ever.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t let some single man tell my daughter she HAD to have a date. and before you ask, yes, I"m Catholic. So, I get to say these things.</p>
<p>I just Googled the story to see if there was an update, and it’s being reported internationally. The prom is this Friday.</p>
<p>I agree that parents of the students need to get involved and apply pressure. </p>
<p>The beauty of private education is that you can vote with your pocketbook…leave the school or withdraw donation support…that does get noticed. I routinely chaired the major fundraising gala at my kids’ school. If they had a stupid rule and I brought it to their attention, I usually could get the rule changed. I also got 3 teachers fired. Try that at a public school.</p>
<p>All schools have some stupid rules that leave the community scratching their heads. At public schools you have to just suck it up.</p>
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Even at public schools the PTA can get the administration’s attention.</p>
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<p>Perfect examples of a scary thing about private schools - VIP muscle flexing.</p>
<p>I know that our generation of parents is criticized for being helicopters, over involved, etc. But I lilke it that we stand up to school administrations. When I think about some of the things that happened when I was in school, the way certain students and groups were treated, I think “I can’t believe that the parents stood for that.”</p>
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So what would you have happen other than students, parents, teachers, administrators who are unhappy with the rule working to change it?</p>
<p>sylvan, I think what confused some of us was your mention of the government. In this case, the girl is using the technique of public shaming to try to achieve change–something that I very much approve of.</p>
<p>*Quote:
I routinely chaired the major fundraising gala at my kids’ school. If they had a stupid rule and I brought it to their attention, I usually could get the rule changed. I also got 3 teachers fired. Try that at a public school.</p>
<p>Perfect examples of a scary thing about private schools - VIP muscle flexing.
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<p>No, it’s not. It would be scary IF the firings weren’t justified. They were. As a matter of fact, after the 3 were fired, the other faculty were elated and sarcastically joked that the three were now “blessing the students” at the nearby public high (where they will NEVER be fired no matter how little they do in a classroom).</p>
<p>To give an example of one of the teachers… He assigned a weekly essay due every Monday. he didn’t read them, he just threw a grade at the top (with points off), with no indication of where points had been deducted. He repeatedly had been asked why points had been deducted, he refused to provide that info.</p>
<p>The kids caught on to the fact that he wasn’t reading the essays and started turning in the SAME essay EVERY week (just changing the date), and each week got a different grade at the top. I gathered the essays, removed the names and presented them to the principal. At a public, that teacher would be retained. </p>
<p>I’ll throw in another example of the Chem teacher I got fired. Her H left her 2 years earlier. Sad, and yes, shocking. For a professional, that means maybe having a couple weeks to pull yourself together for your job. Not this lady, she refused to teach, speak, or do anything in class but sit at her desk…no homework, no tests, nothing. The kids didn’t do ANY chem experiments. They were just told to quietly read their texts in class. Yes, a divorce is shocking, but no one gets 2 years to do nothing and collect a paycheck…while students are forced to “teach themselves.” Again, at a public, this would go on and on and on…which it is, because that’s where she’s now sitting. :(</p>