Hey guys. I feel that my girlfriend is harming herself. Yesterday we got into an argument over the phone and when I got to her apartment we discussed it and finally we made up. Upon talking to her next to me I noticed these two scratch marks that were fairly significant looking. They were a bit swollen so it had to be recent marks. When I asked her what had happened she gave me a bogus excuse that didn’t make sense. Her denial was obvious and I knew she was lying to me. I told her very calmly to tell me the truth and that I would understand whatever she told me. I know she’s got some mental problems (don’t we all at some point) but her denial is an issue with me. How can I help her? Thanks
Thank you for wanting to help.
How old is she? Do you know her parents? If she is in high school can you talk with her guidance counselor ? Or if in college to her RA?
One of my daughters cut herself and fortunately her friends reported it to her guidance counselor who called me. It was winter so she always wore long sleeves and pants, and she also hid her depression well. Once we got her to a good therapist she was able to resolve her issues and stop harming herself.
OP, this is your first post. I appreciate that you are aware of the significance of this behavior. I agree with KKmama about reporting to someone who can contact her parents. Several years ago I did a podcast on this topic, and I’m still amazed how often that this is viewed.
I’m assuming since you said “apartment” that you are both in college. If you know her family, reach out to them. If not, is there a reporting line at student services that you can voice your concerns and they can follow up with her?
My daughter had a friend while still in HS who was cutting and ended up talking to a trusted adult who intervened.
This isn’t something that you should be handling alone.
MODERATOR’S NOTE: There is nothing more to be added. You need to get help.