<p>Okay, your primary goal is to see her change and, ideally, to be helpful in the process. </p>
<p>Can you make efforts in that direction and also live with the full knowledge that whatever she decides is beyond your control? Would you be willing to devote some time to learning (more) about counseling so that your efforts in that direction can be as knowledgeable and effective as possible?</p>
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<p>Are you open to and available for a new course in life? Would you consider a (new) career in counseling, social work, psychology, etc.?</p>
<p>You are very considerate and helpful. Yes, I would be willing to learn whatever I could to help her, but as many have said, she has to want that help. </p>
<p>And even though I have an empty nest, I do work full time, and going back to school holds not much appeal for me. I work at the local community college, and while some of the courses intrigue me, I just don’t think investing a lot of money, time, energy to change careers is in the cards for me. I attended this same college 30+ years ago, hoping to become a nurse. If I only knew then what I know now…and would have stuck with it.</p>
<p>If you like listening and counseling, though, you could consider developing that interest by being a volunteer listener on a hotline. The time commitment at our site is 8 hours per month (after the training program). Just another idea–how am I doing at planning your life for you?! :)</p>
<p>VeryHappy: I’m sorry that I have to run right now. I promise to get back to you.</p>