<p>Sometimes when someone is feeling very sensitive about what they like/the choice they’ve made, it won’t matter how tactfully you express your thoughts. Anything other than full support of their choice will not be well-received. Saying nothing because you are still thinking (even if you like it!) may be poorly received. Huminks are huminks, and we get our feelings hurt.</p>
<p>Yeah, my friend was upset that I didn’t give her 100% support because she was clearly conflicted. I couldn’t honestly give her what she was looking for and she never forgave me. :(</p>
<p>Awww, thank you. 
That made my night.</p>
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<p>I wish my Asian mom was like that. She imposes unsolicited advice on me all the time!</p>
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If someone’s already made a choice, telling them that it was a bad choice is irrelevant or counter-productive. “Please do not drink until you’ve blacked out; I don’t want some guy to take advantage of you” is not the same thing as, “Someone swiped your wallet when you were passed out drunk on the floor of a frat house? Um, gee, let’s figure out how you might have avoided it!” </p>
<p>You can tell people how to extricate themselves from the situation with the least amount of damage, but re-litigating the past doesn’t change it. JMHO.</p>
<p>I was thinking clothing, Ariesathena. “Do you think I look good in this?”</p>
<p>Aries, I’m not sure where you were coming from on your post. Re-litigating? Huh? Sounds very serious.</p>
<p>Aries, I don’t think your post relates to anything I’ve written here or on other threads. If you think it does, I don’t think you understood what I wrote.</p>
<p>Deborah, no, it was not “serious,” in the sense you mean. </p>
<p>You said that people do not like when you are critical of “the choice they’ve made”, which I interpreted to mean a choice that was made at some point in the past and, obviously, can’t be un-done.</p>
<p>With clothing, sometimes at the store you don’t realize they have a favorite (basically already made a choice) because they don’t tell you initially. And husbands, the poor guys, when they get put on the spot about how they like what wives have brought home! Another example, one I can remember, is a roommate choosing her outfit to go out.</p>
<p>“Do you think I look good in this?” is asking for an opinion but sometimes only the opinion the person wants to hear. ;)</p>
<p>Well, if it’s in a fitting room, then the person should be willing to hear some criticism; if she’s shown up at a formal event in something too casual for it, the only proper response is, “Yes, you look fine,” unless her fairy godmother is going to conjure up a ball gown for her. :D</p>
<p>Rarely, and only if it is a situation that is begging for it and if I can put it in a way so that it doesn’t look like advice. More suggestions after turning the conversation that way. I don’t think giving unsolicited advice is very helpful and you can insult someone. </p>
<p>Now, my children, husband and other close family members will call me a liar, so I have to caveat this with them excepted. They get unsolicited advice all of the time from, and it does insult them too often.</p>