<p>I hate this feeling of uncertainity, and it’s not the first time in my life future seems so blurred and unpredictable. This time I have no emergency plans though. Everything is becoming overpoweringly confusing that I lack the motivation to even get out of bed.</p>
<p>So after the ventures, struggles and losses, I concluded I don’t have what it takes.</p>
<p>Tell more…</p>
<p>mhe1492…what seems to be bothering you…are you in college currently or are you facing college apps? Please respond</p>
<p>LOL, neither. I’m 10 years older than the traditional college applicant but not applying to college. I don’t have a degree either.</p>
<p>I know exactly what I want, but it’s fatiguing to keep going while losing.</p>
<p>Will this fear, obscurity and ambiguity about the future ever go away? If so, how long will it take? Why should I accept that I will “make it” when nothing seems to lead there?</p>
<p>mhe1492:</p>
<p>I am very sorry to read that you are feeling so low and discouraged! There are many jobs that do not require a college degree but pay well. The son of a friend of mine dropped out after one year of college but is now managing a very popular restaurant. Another also dropped out after freshman year, floundered for several years, but eventually found work he loved in some computer firm.</p>
<p>You’ve posted before you wanted to attend college. It may be difficult to be a full-time student because of your spotty record and your financial constraints. But what about taking online courses? Or taking adult education classes in some specific topic? One of my acquaintances has discovered a passion for landscape gardening (she is in computers). So she is taking courses in the evening and hopes to start a whole new career. So take a look at what you really like and would love to do and see if you can take courses in it rather than go the traditional college route.</p>
<p>Good luck, I hope you feel more optimistic soon.</p>
<p>mhe1492: if you haven’t already (it was posted numerous places on CC) I highly recommend spending an hour and 20 minutes watching this Carnegie Mellon professor (Randy Pausch) give his last lecture. It is inspirational, and may be just enough of a nudge for you to reassess your feelings of doubt. </p>
<p>In one segment he discusses the “brick wall” and what it’s there for. </p>
<p>I have shared this video piece with everyone I know, and each took with them something important. I hope you do too.</p>
<p><a href=“News | Entertainment Technology Center”>News | Entertainment Technology Center;
<p>You have the tremendous skill of being able to speak and translate Arabic, being from North Africa. Is there not work for you as a translator somewhere, or are the security clearances too difficult to surmount? Just a thought. It’s such a marketable skill now.</p>
<p>mhe1492,
I immediately thought of your language skills as well. Are you still working as a truck driver? Maybe you can save enough of a cushion that you could look at another line of work even if it means lower pay. What I was thinking was that if you aren’t bound to being out of town with your job, maybe you could see if there is some kind of Arabic tutoring position available at a local community college or other school. Especially if you could take some classes as well, that would give you a way to start on improving your future.</p>
<p>Please don’t lose heart. I was an older nontraditional student with a family to help support 15 years ago. I was surprised and grateful to learn that, since we were so poor, the grants and other aid I qualified for were almost enough to compensate for what I lost in my low-paying part-time job when I made the decision to pursue higher education full time. I’d had only a very basic high school education finished more than a decade before, so I had to take a non-credit math class to get up to speed for college work, but other than that, anything I lacked in preparation was more than made up for by maturity and the experience of having met many kinds of responsibilities up to that point in my life. The community college system was ideal for someone like me–it was relatively close to home (still a 45-mile commute each way), inexpensive (I think about $60 a credit at the time, though I’m sure it has increased), and most importantly, there were many adult learners trying to make a new start, and the instructors were very caring and supportive. I will say that from there I went on to finish my BA at what would be considered a lower-tier regional state U, but again, I felt I received a quality education, and I was well-prepared for my chosen career.</p>
<p>I hope you will check out the possibilities of your state’s community college system. They should be able to point you to some computer-based interest inventories that will help you get some ideas about future employment options that would suit you. For younger students, I don’t think of the college experience and career education as being necessarily the same thing, but for older students, there isn’t as much time for exploration. That doesn’t mean you have to know exactly what you want before you start, but you do need to think of higher ed as as a means to accomplish your goals and set a path that will allow you to do something that you consider worthwhile and fulfilling. At the risk of starting to ramble, I’ll add, though, that I think that if that fulfillment comes through your work that’s a bonus, but I think the main goal should be to qualify for a position that you like well enough and provides you with the means (some discretionary time and money) to also pursue your personal interests.</p>
<p>Wishing you the best!</p>
<p>Dear Virtual Friends,</p>
<p>I screwed up big time, paid the price, learned my lessons, got back on my feet, and now I’m at it yet again. Not nearly as desperate, infinitely more confident, and ready to take over the world :)</p>
<p>Back to making mistakes 
doing work that seems more suitable than other things I’ve done in the past. The idea is not new–bust a$$ for a while. Save money. Go to school. LEARN!!</p>
<p>In the mean time, I’m enjoying the show.</p>
<p>What a positive update. A good example for getting back in the fray with renewed energy. Big thanks!</p>
<p>Thanks, Garland,</p>
<p>But what can I do? Try as I may, I couldn’t persuade myself that good academia isn’t my best choice.</p>