My D is facing the decision that so many on CC face. She’s been accepted to a couple selective schools that she loves and a state safety that she is less enthusiastic about.
We think the selective schools will be affordable, but not easily (We don’t think it will require loans, since she has been offered some merit). The state school would be much more comfortably affordable.
Even seeing some of the practical aspects of choosing the state school (not the flagship…She didn’t like that one.) It is hard to choose to give up all that the selective schools offer. Some may just be perceived differences, but some are real.
If you or your child made that decision and it turned out to be a good one, I’d love to hear more about it!
@Shoeboemom We are with you…D has several selective school acceptances…and maybe we can handle it financially but state school makes everything much easier.
In my case, i never talk up the state school…i give her nothing to rebel against…sometimes i’ll casually mention something like “study abroad is a great idea…obviously, state school makes that much more likely” and then I drop it.
My son chose the local state school over the 10 other schools that accepted him (a mix of OOS publics and IS and OOS privates) because of cost, quality & fit, and location.
If he attends the state school, we’ll be able to pay for his undergrad out-of-pocket so he won’t have any loans. The privates did offer great merit aid which brought costs down a LOT, but would have required more loans than he was willing to take. It’s not the least expensive choice he had, but it’s the best fit.
He’s interested in computer science (not business or another type of major where which school you go to can make a huge difference) and our state school has a good CS dept., so he didn’t feel like he needed a more prestigious or expensive school. The school is a size he’s comfortable with and he likes the area where the campus is located. After visiting a couple times and talking with some of the current students he said he felt very comfortable there.
The school is within commuting distance of NYC. He hopes to line up internships there and maybe some part-time work during school breaks, so the location is good. The school also has a cross registration program with some area privates so he can take a course or two a semester at one of the other colleges if he wants. That was a big selling point to him too.
My husband and I are happy with the state school. It frees up money so he can do other things (like taking a semester abroad or accepting an internship instead of working to help cover costs) and we think the fit is perfect for him.
What’s important for your DD, I think, is to weigh the differences between the schools. What would she have to give up if she chose the state school? If you post her intended major, the schools, and what she likes about the more expensive schools, the experienced CC contributors can tell you if they think the cost difference is worth it.
My experience is both short (1.5 semesters) and heavily biased, but I’ll throw it in anyway.
I didn’t get in to my match or reach, so I’m at one of my safeties + honors college. The honors college is okay, but I wish I could have gone somewhere where most people were like me, instead of being a minority among 40k students. I don’t really like it here so far, but finances mean I can’t/shouldn’t leave. Which is a horrible feeling.
So I guess just make sure she can be happy at the affordable school!
Would a visit help? Is there some sort of accepted students day that would put the best face on the safety? Any peers going there who would be persuasive?
We are fortunate enough to have a great state U as a safety; kids as well as parents find it hard to turn down. One kid chose it. What made the difference for him was an accepted students day in which everything went well: he enjoyed the presentations, he ran into friends on the huge campus, he met a good friend for an ethnic dinner afterwards. We had incredibly good luck. Son 2 has this as an option as well. I am carefully not pushing it (!) but if one of his older friends invited him to spend the weekend there, I wouldn’t say no.
(I will confess I am not sure what the best choice is for son2. Part of me thinks he would be happier at a smaller school, so my not pushing the state school safety is heart felt.)
I’ve seen the article I posted before and think it would be great for you to read. Hopefully the affordable school is one that she liked and is a good fit and not a school she applied to simply because it would be cheap. I agree that visiting one more time might help. Fit is important not only in a reach but in a safety as well. http://www.thecollegiateblog.org/2013/07/24/student-stories/
I know two at very selective universities that are miserable. The grass is not always greener. Lots of pressure, lots of competition and you’re no longer a star.
If the “better” schools are affordable without loans (even if it means stretching), I would let your daughter decide. She might have to take on the subsidized loan to help the family but if there’s an appreciable difference in peer quality, resources, or outcomes at one of the schools, I’d definitely weigh that in. Cheapest is not always the best value. There’s also a matter of not applying to the state flagship - what’s the difference between your daughter’s stats and the less-selective state school’s stats? How many students are comparable in level/drive?
Students who attend “too easy” schools sometimes get bored, frustrated because they’re the only one with the professor who’s done the work, or develop poor worth ethics because they get A’s very easily. Others end up thriving because they develop one-on-one relationships with professors and have priority access to many things. The difference between “typical” students and your student is a factor (the larger the difference, the more likely the problems), as are the campus culture and “perks” offered.
My son is one who chose affordability over school ranking. He is thrilled with his decision. He is using the opportunity of being a top student to his advantage. As a freshman, he is already working for one professor on research and has been recruited to join in the fall a second team in a different dept. (He is currently triple majoring, but I think he has recently decided that he is going to drop one.) He will be able to take grad level classes next yr due to the # of credits he brought in.
My son has not seen any downsides. But, as myos1634 pointed out, our son actively seeks out opportunities. He has formed relationships with professors and eagerly accepts the mentoring they offer.
There is always the possibility of graduate school at a more selective and prestigious school, which you can afford if you go to the state safety for your Bachelor’s degree and excel. I went to my Mediocre State U. and then to Harvard for grad school. I got to do things in my undergrad years like play in the marching band, watch my team win a national championship in its big sport, and be president of a major club on campus. I had time for all that because my classes were not as challenging. I got great recommendations for Harvard from two professors because I was among their top students, and I had a 3.8 GPA in my major. I get the best of both worlds because my State U. is large and has a huge and active alumni association that I have been very involved with, including serving on the Board of Directors. The Harvard degree has been more helpful with jobs but I have not been involved as an alumna.
If you can afford it without loans, then I think you should let her go to the school she likes best, definitely. Any reasonable parent would. From your post I think you are going to. Many people actually take heavy debt for those schools. Not having to is a blessing you should appreciate.
Going to the most affordable school is settling for the easy if you can actually afford better schools without debt. It’s also unnecessarily taking a huge opportunity away from your child.
If it isn’t going to be affordable, if you’d have to take an extra mortgage (which some people actually do), selling your house (yes, people actually do that) or other huge sacrifices, then I’d understand a parent not sending their child to the more expensive schools he/she got into and likes better. But if it just took extra effort and some sacrifices, I wouldn’t hesitate to send my child where he or she wants to go. College is a huge investment you’re making on your children… do you really want to be stingy about that?
Obviously I’m not talking about sending your child to the most prestigious school she got into. I’m talking about sending your child to a college they feel comfortable with and is going to give them the best academic opportunities.
@ undecidedac96, I don’t know that factoring in cost in the college decision would make us stingy! The costs at the more expensive schools on the list would mean some sacrifice, from us and from my D, meaning some other things she wants (or may later need) might not be possible. What we can afford is somewhat subjective. People often want the more expensive option, but that might not always be the wisest.
I want my D to go somewhere she is comfortable and that offers great opportunities. The state school could offer that. I think there is a tendency for the students to automatically see the state schools as the lesser option. It may or may not actually be. There are many factors to weigh.
We don’t want her to dismiss the state school if she can be happy there, for a fraction of what it would cost at the other schools, based on what might be a flawed perception that the more expensive one would be the ‘dream’ school. I know many people have chosen the state safety over other options and have been happy with that choice. I want her to see the possibilities.
At the schools with merit scholarships, do the merit scholarships require a high GPA to renew, or are tied to a specific major? If so, she needs to consider whether being unable to renew the scholarship will force her to transfer to a lower cost school.
Was the price limit discussed before applications were made, and the more expensive schools are now just at the price limit after applying the scholarships?
Of course, which specific schools, and her academic interests, can matter significantly. In some threads, what the OP considered to be the less desirable school appeared to be a better match for his/her academic interests (in terms of strength of majors that s/he was interested in).
Yes, there would be GPA requirements to maintain. That is certainly something she needs to keep in mind…and stress and high pressure is something she wants to avoid.
Exactly. With the merit, we believe (once we get the details in the financial packets) the other schools will just reach the 'affordable' range.
Can you give examples of the colleges in consideration (or equivalents)?
For example, is it Oberlin vs. Central Michigan State (in which case, Oberlin, because a kid who fits in there wouldn’t at Central Michigan)? Or is it Louisiana State vs. Tulane for petroleum engineering (debatable)? Or Cal Poly SLO vs. Harvey Mudd (depends on student’s turn of mind)? Haverford vs. Slippery Rock for philosophy (no contest regardless of scholarships)? Duke vs. UNC-A for undecided, artsy kid?
How likely is it that your daughter will keep the GPA - if she got scholarships, she’s among the top applicants, so is she hardworking? Do you worry she’ll enjoy her new freedoms too much? Is there grade deflation at some of the colleges? Is her chosen major especially difficult (ie., engineering)?
Also would the debt be the same for both choices (if there is any debt). In terms of happiness there are so many factors. She could pick the perfect school but have the worst roommates, etc… How do her stats compare to the entry stats at the state school? It is hard to answer your question because you can only imagine the missed opportunity.
lol