My son chose the local state school over the 10 other schools that accepted him (a mix of OOS publics and IS and OOS privates) because of cost, quality & fit, and location.
If he attends the state school, we’ll be able to pay for his undergrad out-of-pocket so he won’t have any loans. The privates did offer great merit aid which brought costs down a LOT, but would have required more loans than he was willing to take. It’s not the least expensive choice he had, but it’s the best fit.
He’s interested in computer science (not business or another type of major where which school you go to can make a huge difference) and our state school has a good CS dept., so he didn’t feel like he needed a more prestigious or expensive school. The school is a size he’s comfortable with and he likes the area where the campus is located. After visiting a couple times and talking with some of the current students he said he felt very comfortable there.
The school is within commuting distance of NYC. He hopes to line up internships there and maybe some part-time work during school breaks, so the location is good. The school also has a cross registration program with some area privates so he can take a course or two a semester at one of the other colleges if he wants. That was a big selling point to him too.
My husband and I are happy with the state school. It frees up money so he can do other things (like taking a semester abroad or accepting an internship instead of working to help cover costs) and we think the fit is perfect for him.
What’s important for your DD, I think, is to weigh the differences between the schools. What would she have to give up if she chose the state school? If you post her intended major, the schools, and what she likes about the more expensive schools, the experienced CC contributors can tell you if they think the cost difference is worth it.
Good luck.